Homophobia in a Dublin Hotel?

LegacyUser

(Going anon for this one. Don't want to stir up trouble just yet.)

I had a job interview in Dublin today so I booked into a hotel in the city centre last night (I won't name it). I booked a double room for myself.

The receptionist was snooty and rude with me because it took ages for my card to go through to pay the security deposit. In the end the fault was on their side (a problem with the machine), so even though it was a big hotel, she must have remembered my face.

I met an on-off boyfriend (it's complicated) for dinner. One thing led to another, and we decided to go back to the hotel. We got back to the hotel around nine. The receptionist noticed us on the way in and gave us dirty looks. The guy I was with said I was imagining it.

Around 9.30 there was a knock on the door. I answered it, and the receptionist was there with the manager. I was told overnight guests weren't allowed and my partner would have to leave right away. I protested, but was told again overnight guests weren't allowed, and either he left or we both did. Eventually he said he would just leave. He was obviously embarrassed as he was being treated like a prostitute I'd picked up in the Phoenix Park and dragged back to the hotel. I couldn't afford to leave because of my interview the following morning.

Is this unusual? I understand overnight guests are normally not allowed but 1. I booked a double room that wasn't cheap; 2. We didn't come back at a ridiculous time; 3. I've never seen this rule enforced in any hotel I've stayed in, and I've been in quite a few.

What are your thoughts? I'm wondering what to do.

Aard

It's probably something stupid like insurance reasons. They didn't know there were going to be two people in the room, so it might affect compensation in the event of fire.

Endymion

I would have asked to see the written document stating that overnight guests aren't permitted. If you post up the name of the hotel, I'll very quickly find out if overnight guests are allowed. So far you haven't said anything that isn't factual and I assume you can prove if required that you stayed there.

coolperson05

Thats an awful position to be put in.

I stayed in an unnamed Dublin hotel recently enough with my (former) boyfriend. And I went to check in, it was under my name, and she couldn't find the booking on the computer :rolleyes:
So she started a new booking and asked "I presume it's a twin room" and gave this smart look. He went awfully embarrassed! I said "No, its a double if you have it but either was fine". It was more a place to sleep than anything. And she replies "Oh well we only have twin rooms anyway" Even though I had booked a double room. I wondered would her attitude have been different had it been a guy and girl....

ted1

most hotels charge per person per room. I reckon your jumping the gun pulling the homophobia card. Check the hotels website to see if these is the case.

Endymion

I don't think that's true these days since hotels are so under capacity (Some still do, some don't). I can say Bewleys in ballsbridge is priced on a per room basis and has never been a problem when we've stayed there.

djk1000

Name the hotel. Might add some perspective to the discussion.

Zillah

On one hand their behaviour seems really suspiciously hostile, and yet, on the other, if this story was told to me by a straight person I wouldn't bat an eyelid, I'd just think "Wow, they're strict!"

Eitherway, their attitude was pretty damn obnoxious, so write them off either way. Ideally name and shame too, but I'm not sure how strict boards is on that sort of thing these days.

A lemon

Hmmm, you could send in a couple of friends to pose as a gay couple booking a double room (without ever actually going through with it, maybe they could just be inquiring how much it would cost). See how they react. That way, if they don't flinch, as least you'll know that they didn't cock-block you just because you're gay...

mikemac

I worked in hotels, on reception and a night porter

I've never come across this situation with a same sex couple and overnight guests.. But many, many times with straight couples.

However, our rooms were sold per person. Nowadays it's mainly done by room but different hotels had different policies.

I've certainly stopped people at the door when they bring back someone they met from the pub/club. I was strict and that's what management told me to enforce.

The overnight guest would have to pay extra and we'd check them in.
A hotel needs an accurate headcount in case of a fire or accident.
You paid for a double so possibly you wouldn't have been charged extra.

If this was a straight couple that got stopped by reception you'd say they are strict on their policies.
But suddenly it's homophobia? You are reading too much into it.

The receptionist had a lousy attitude for sure but this isn't homophobia. Hotels need a headcount for safety, record keeping and insurance.

BanzaiBk

Write a letter to management enquiring about overnight guests and state your experiences at their business. It's happened now so there's nothing to lose on your part. The worst thing they can say is "no overnight guests allowed".

Nevyn

No unregistered over nigth guest is fair enough but it was 9:30 not 11:30.

Skuxx

Something similar happened myself and a girl I met on a night out but the hotel offered to check her in, not just say right you have to leave!! Surely that would have been the way to do it if having an accurate headcount was their biggest issue!

anotherlostie

Same thing happened to me many years ago at the same time of evening in a hotel in Kildare and the insurance line was rolled out even though we protested we were "working on a business project". It was a small family run place and the guy knew exactly what was going on and I did wonder would he have had the same issue if I had been a girl, but from reading the replies maybe they are just strict.

L1011

If a hotel isn't charging a room rate, they're likely to turf any and everyone out of the rooms after a certain time if they're not residents. Simple as, no homophobia to it.

Next time book a hotel with a room rate, they're not uncommon and now cover every end of the price/quality spectrum; I stayed (with my bf) in the Clayton in Galway on a room rate last month for instance - its not just Travelodges anymore.

Or one that specifically promotes itself as gay friendly if you're seriously worried; the best quality one of these I know of in Dublin is the Ashling

CSaber

It probably is an insurance or health/safety thing.

DubArk

My Partner and I have stayed in many hotels over the years in Dublin and abroad. We have never been treated any different from other guests. I would imagine it was a case of you having someone in the room that was not booked in.

If you were paying per person then they must have thought you were pulling a fast one. You should have explained from the onset that you were having a guest in your room and then no misunderstanding would have taken place...

As suggested write a letter and explain your situation and get clarification. Hotels are very broad minded places; as such a broad brush stroke of society stays in them and they can’t afford to get snotty with people who happen to be gay, sure from my experience many gay people work in them!

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Thanks for your responses, I feel much better about it. I re-read the t&c on their website today and could not get a definitive answer.The hotel is part of a chain, so I decided to ring the number on the website. They took my details, made a few calls, and rang me back. They said rooms are charged on a per-room basis, not per guest, and the reason was, like many of you said, for insurance reasons. They did apologize for the attitude of some of the staff, though, and they told me they could have handled it better (for example, she said normal policy would be to offer to let me book in the guest at a subsidized rate because I had already booked a double room). They're sending me a voucher to make up for it.

To some posters: I wasn't accusing the hotel of homophobia, I was just wondering what you all thought, hence the question mark in the title.

Also to other posters: I didn't name the hotel because I didn't want to cause trouble or make accusations (it could get Boards.ie into trouble for legal reasons).

Thanks again for all your kind responses. Much appreciated.

rainbowdrop

Stayed in the Clarion in Limerick with my Ex a few years ago (for my birthday) and no problems whatsoever. They didn't bat an eyelid, not even when the room service guy came into the room with a trolley containing a meal, a bunch of flowers and a bottle of moet champagne. And it was obvious we were a couple!! Well done Clarion.

On the other hand, we stayed in a B+B in Killarney and it was a completely different story. It was run by an elderly lady, and her eyes nearly fell out of her head when she realised we were lesbians (we both look straight).... thought we were going to be asked to leave:rolleyes: The looks we got from her in the breakfast room the following morning had to be seen to believed, if looks could kill I would be dead by now (of course, we didn't help the situation by holding hands across the table just to wind her up:D)

But OP, I'd be more inclined to think your case is more to do with insurance than homophobia, did you ask the staff if they could book the other guy in?

kiwipower

I think sometimes (possible usually) it has more to do with the attitude and level of awareness of reception staff in hotels and that some staff could do with extra training.

My GF and I had an experience this weekend in a hotel in Galway that I have used regularly for a single booking and we have both used previously for a double booking.

We arrived at the reception desk together to check-in. I gave my name as I had made the booking. The receptionist looked at the two of us and asked if “we were booking into two rooms.” I said no ONE Room (With a bit of an indignant tone of voice.) The receptionist then said “oh” got our booking sheet and continued with the booking.

We then went up to the room, there instead of a king size bed like we were expecting we found two single beds pushed together with two single duvets on top. I had to ring down to reception to enquire if it was a twin or double room we had been given. I was informed that “the room could be used as both” there was then a pause from the receptionist who then stated that she could put us in a double room if we preferred. When I said yes she hung up as quick as she could.

Motley Crue

I have to say I've heard of the general rule banning overnight guests, although it seems outrageous that they would disturb your room at half nine....I believe if they imagined you had an overnight guest then maybe it would be at 11 or something that they politely informed you of the rules

To me, it seems like this receptionist caught sight of the pair of you, reported to the manager and he came straight up

Still, I can't imagine a hotel being this restrictive on the rules (come to think about it I've been "snuck" into a few girls hotel rooms over the years and it didn't take much sneaking)

swirlser

Tbh if it wasnt homophobia it was one ****ty hotel, doesnt sound like a very nice experience at all.

Back when I started seeing my bf we stayed in hotels frequently and honestly some of the looks and situations still stay with me many years on. Even recall on one occasion being given a BS reason that our room was double booked when the receptionist realised it was a gay couple and they had obviously thought we'd left but were in fact around from the check in desk and another (straight) couple walked in off the street and asked if there were any vacancies - they got a room no problem.

As the OP described it, sounds more like homophobia to me. If it was a policy/insurance issue, alternatives would have been offered. Not "either he leaves or you both do".

EDIT: Also fair play to you on following it up, obviously the higher-ups appreciating the situation and how strongly you felt about it saw sense and apologised to avoid nasty PR. If more ppl did follow on with these kinds of issues, the less of this kind of crap we'd have to deal with.

kaz_corcoran

Thankfully I've never had any trouble in any hotel with my girlfriend and we've stayed in quite a few here and abroad. Once or twice the person booking us in would look up for a split second when I'd say double bed but that's the extent of it.
I would say it was just the issue of not being booked in, as I've had that experience before and it wasn't a homophobic thing. A few friends had booked into a hotel in the city centre as they all live in swords and getting a hotel room would nearly equate to getting a taxi. The manager (or someone in higher authority than the receptionist anyway) stopped and questioned a few of us when we were going up to their room while they got ready, and stopped us going in. Not even a decent hotel, one of the barely-classed-as-a-hotel hotels on Talbot street.

LegacyUser

Of course it was a homophobic incident! I stayed in a hotel like this some years ago with my boyfriend. The staff and the manager were rude and I realised in their actions the way they treated us. The receptionist gave dirty looks and tried to look to the other staff in a funny way. They really let us uncomfortable!!! Before we left that place I said in a sarcastic way how they were nice and polite!!! I don't understand why in Ireland this weird things still exist in these modern days....

Pacifist Pigeon

How is this in any way homophobic? I've often heard of things like this happening to straight couples.

I wasn't accusing the hotel of homophobia, I was just wondering what you all thought, hence the question mark in the title.

You invoked the suspension of homophobia by coming up with a title like that.

baby and crumble

please don't drag up threads that are a year old. Cheers.