Text a 'friend' but they didn't bother to text back....please read

UnsureOfWhatTo

Hi all, I am an early 20s guy at collage in England.
Yesterday i spoke to one of them from my class and he said we were going to do something tomorrow (today) and that he would keep me updated.
Today I text one of them from my class suggesting we all go to a pub night thing tonight.
But she did not bother to text back. Then I heard from the guy in the class, a text telling that we are meeting at a pub at 8 oclock.

Why would she have not bothered to answer my text? And just think how awkward it will be for me tonight because of this i really do not know what to do......I'm feeling really alone right now.
Should I go tonight? And If I do should I say anything to her about this?

I really hope you guys can help me, I feel so alone

Big Bag of Chips

Of course you should go! I think you're reading too much into it. I am the world's worst at replying to or sending texts.. it doesn't mean anything, other than I'm really bad at getting back to people... and possibly a little rude for not replying when I should.

Go on the night out, and don't even let on like you felt there was an issue... because there probably wasn't!

1st year?

EDIT: And maybe it was organised by a group and they all said they'd let various people know. Don't expect one person to solely be responsible for your social life. You heard about the night, it doesn't matter how. Enjoy the night, and don't feel alone, I'm sure that's nobodies intention.

UnsureOfWhatTo

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Of course you should go! I think you're reading too much into it. I am the world's worst at replying to or sending texts.. it doesn't mean anything, other than I'm really bad at getting back to people... and possibly a little rude for not replying when I should.

Go on the night out, and don't even let on like you felt there was an issue... because there probably wasn't!

1st year?

Thanks for the reply, i really appreciate it.
The thing is, she got in contact with the other guy about it so she obviously saw my text?

Well the thing is i'm a masters student at a University in London....i know, i cant believe im this insecure at my age either.

astra2000

Go and meet your friends stop fretting about the text, who knows why she didnt reply, phone could be off, may have no credit,may be busy when she got the text and forgot to respond, or she might not be bothered. Whatever the reason she is just one girl who didnt contact you, the other guy did let you know. Go out enjoy yourself and forget about the text.

UnsureOfWhatTo

astra2000 wrote: »

Go and meet your friends stop fretting about the text, who knows why she didnt reply, phone could be off, may have no credit,may be busy when she got the text and forgot to respond, or she might not be bothered. Whatever the reason she is just one girl who didnt contact you, the other guy did let you know. Go out enjoy yourself and forget about the text.

I kind of have a feeling that i am not liked very much in our little group. Allow me to explain: (and there is something reassuring about telling strangers on the internet my problems...seriously, I feel slightly better already so thank you guys):

-when i left her a comment on facebook, on her wall, she did not reply under it, instead she sent me a private mail replying to it...?
-i am just feeling really depressed, because i have not made as much friends as i expected to - the workload is really heavy so that would explain that, but it really gets me down.
-i've basically been on my own, in my room, with noone around me since last week, about 4 days now....

....

Big Bag of Chips

UnsureOfWhatTo wrote: »

- i've basically been on my own, in my room, with noone around me since last week, about 4 days now....

....

All the more reason to go out tonight. You seem to be putting too much emphasis on this one girl and how she goes about her business! Stop worrying, go out enjoy yourself talk to different people. Stop concentrating on "yer wan"!

astra2000

You maybe reading too much into it, she may have simply not wanted whatever she wrote you in the message to be seen on her wall, people have so many random friends on fb this may be her way of keeping things private.
Lets just say she doesnt like you and your not the most popular of guys, well sitting in your room isnt going to change that. Look on the bright side you got an invite to go out, make the most of it meet people, and have fun stop worrying about wheather people like you are not, if you dwell on this you may end up trying too hard and coming across different than you are.
Obviously studying for your masters is a pretty big deal and time consuming but it wont last forever there is light at the end of the tunnell, plenty of time to make friends when your exams are over. Go easy on yourself your living away from your home country family and friends obviously you will feel like a fish out of water for a while its normal.

UnsureOfWhatTo

astra2000 wrote: »

You maybe reading too much into it, she may have simply not wanted whatever she wrote you in the message to be seen on her wall, people have so many random friends on fb this may be her way of keeping things private.
Lets just say she doesnt like you and your not the most popular of guys, well sitting in your room isnt going to change that. Look on the bright side you got an invite to go out, make the most of it meet people, and have fun stop worrying about wheather people like you are not, if you dwell on this you may end up trying too hard and coming across different than you are.
Obviously studying for your masters is a pretty big deal and time consuming but it wont last forever there is light at the end of the tunnell, plenty of time to make friends when your exams are over. Go easy on yourself your living away from your home country family and friends obviously you will feel like a fish out of water for a while its normal.

Thank you for the reply, and thanks to everyone else too.

I think i may have a form of social anxiety, which i feel is making me feel this way. I dont know what to do about it.....like when i am around people i never know what to talk about, conversation does not come easily to me. - taking this into account, im not sure whether to go tonight or not....?

travellingbid

Go.........I certain there are at least 5 other people going that feel exactly the same way

UnsureOfWhatTo

travellingbid wrote: »

Go.........I certain there are at least 5 other people going that feel exactly the same way

what should i do about the fact that she ignored my text, and that all of the plans is texted to the other guy and not to me?

cafecolour

I don't know why you think 'no one' likes you - the only person you mention not replying is this one girl. Maybe you fancy her a bit, so you're overly sensitive to her reactions (or lack thereof)?

Go. Don't mention anything at all about the text to her, and just chat briefly with her.

Try and talk to a bunch of people there, and see who you 'click' with as friends.

Motley Crue

UnsureOfWhatTo wrote: »

Why would she have not bothered to answer my text?

She had no credit, her battery ran out, she was in the cinema or otherwise engaged, she left her phone down and hasn't found it yet

TashaMonster

Maybe when you text her she wasn't sure what the arrangements for the night out were, so she texts the other guy and tells him you just text her and asks him what the groups plans are, he tells her what the plans are and says to her "don't worry about it, I'll text UnsureOfWhatTo and let him know cos I was meant to text him anyway"

TBH thats how most of my groups night outs get arranged, word is passed randomly around, so ya might ask one person what the plan is and hear back the details from someone else.

I sometimes feel very nervous around people in certain social situations but I always find the best way is to dive in head first, you'll usually have a good night, even if it's not great it's better than staying in on your own. Please go out !

UnsureOfWhatTo

UnsureOfWhatTo wrote: »

Hi all, I am an early 20s guy at collage in England.
Yesterday i spoke to one of them from my class and he said we were going to do something tomorrow (today) and that he would keep me updated.
Today I text one of them from my class suggesting we all go to a pub night thing tonight.
But she did not bother to text back. Then I heard from the guy in the class, a text telling that we are meeting at a pub at 8 oclock.

Why would she have not bothered to answer my text? And just think how awkward it will be for me tonight because of this i really do not know what to do......I'm feeling really alone right now.
Should I go tonight? And If I do should I say anything to her about this?

I really hope you guys can help me, I feel so alone

Maybe she passed on the text to him and said "x suggests pub tonight?" and he went "yeah sure i'll send a text around to everyone including him because I said I'd let him know" and she said to herself "grand, he'll know that's a yes then"

gossipgal08

I posted a message on a friends facbook wall the other day and got a text back instantly. I texted a friend four days ago and she only replied today. Get Out Of Your Room and Talk To People. Dont think about things so much.

Fake it till you make it

Monkey Allen

I suspect you fancy her and she senses it. She doesn't want it to turn into a stalking episode and so is avoiding texting you. Well that's me take on it. Not sure why you'd care about her not replying to your text or sending you an email instead of replying to your facebook post unless you felt attracted to her or needed her acceptance.

Get what you want out of situations instead of focusing on how people see you. You've probably been out already before reading this reply.

Ainekav

Monkey Allen you are making lots of assumptions there, most of which probably aren't true. And your probably adding to the guys worries aswell which is a bit stupid.

OP get out of your own head for a while! Give a f*** if she didn't text you back! Go out!

Monkey Allen

Ainekav wrote: »

Monkey Allen you are making lots of assumptions there, most of which probably aren't true. And your probably adding to the guys worries aswell which is a bit stupid.

OP get out of your own head for a while! Give a f*** if she didn't text you back! Go out!

I guess you have to consider what the OP was actually asking for, perspectives on his situation. We cant tell him facts as we are not any of the people involved. So we give our perspectives. Which is what I gave. The OP can pick whichever he feels is the best fit. Your opinion on my opinion is neither here nor there.