Not sure how to take this...

LegacyUser

There's a girl I know who I haven't seen in a couple of years and she's just moved back to Ireland from abroad. I know she's single and I know that before she moved away, I had a shot with her that I did nothing about. She liked me and I liked her but for some reason I never did anything about it. I've always regretted that much.

Anyway, I'm going to see her soon enough I feel and I'm wondering how to act? Obviously I'd have to "start from scratch" so to speak but I would like to ask her out or something when I see her. That may be being a bit too forward so I'll play it by year and see what happens.

Is there anyway of knowing whether she still likes me or not? I'm 20 and I haven't had much experience with girlfriends so I'm afraid of messing this up. My friend also likes her too and he isn't shy about hiding that fact. I'm almost equally afraid of him managing to get with her instead of me. It wouldn't be heartbreaking but I think it would annoy me.

I always seem to freeze up around girls I like and I've blown plenty of chances when I should have done or said something to these girls and I don't want to make the same mistakes with her. I have no problems at all talking until the cows come home with people I don't have any "romantic" intentions with but once I meet someone I do: I freeze up, I barely say a word to them; I can't make eye-contact or keep it if I do; and lastly, I over-think and over-analyse everything that's said - both by myself and by her.

Any advice for someone who is a great guy (if I do say so myself:)) but is a bit clueless and timid when it comes to girls?

LegacyUser

well? anyone? i find it hard to believe that there is 200+ views and no one has an opinion...

MiniSquish

I think that you should do what you intended to and play it by ear. Talk to her and see how you're getting on, if she's flirty or is devoting alot of her attention to you then it's quite possible that she likes you. If you think she does then I would say "You know I liked you before ya left, I wasn't sure if you liked me so I was too chicken to do something" or something like that. She'll probably then tell you whether she did/does or doesn't. That's just what I'd do but then again in a social situation with a few drinks involved I'm very brave. Just play it by ear

Peanut2011

Well you say you are 20 and she is just back in to the country. How long was she away? Reason I ask is that it would depend it that was just a teenage crush or something more.

If you want to be more than friends you need to find out as otherwise you get stuck in the "friend zone" and there is no going back.

First time you see her, you tell her you are happy to see her again and you were wondering if she would like to grab a coffee or something to catch up.

Find out what she is up to... If she is back to stay you can as a next step suggest a concert or a comedy gig and take it from there.

You need to be quite confident and find out where she is.

Waiting around will do you no good as the longer you don't know how she feels the more desperate you will become to impress her.

I'm telling you this cos I went trough similar experience a good few years ago. At the end of the day you have nothing to lose as you have nothing now.

LegacyUser

Hey Op here thanks for all the advice so far.

She was away for little over a year. I don't know her that well and I'm quite happy to be friends with her but given the chance, I would like something more I think.

I do agree with the nothing to lose attitude - some great advice thanks for that again!

Thing is though that I'm terrified of screwing up if it looks like I do have a chance. I don't want to blow it because I've scared myself into non-action. I've done it so many times now that it's just stupid. I can never stop myself - I don't even know how to. I'll keep thinking about everything i'm doing and just get so careful and uptight that I won't even be myself and I'll just be boring and bland.

Any advice how to overcome THAT? I'm not just talking about her btw, girls in general and I wouldn't like that to happen with her.

Peanut2011

Over the years I have found that trying to be someone you are not and over-thinking things does not work. It fails eventually.

The one thing you will have to realize about yourself is that NO person is worth more to you than you and your happiness. Once you get to that stage and you are happy with yourself, than and only than can you expect others to accept you too.

If people like you for who you are than they will be around no matter what. If this girl likes you but does not know you well, make sure you are who you are. If she likes that than it's ok, if she does not guess what? Better to know that now than few months down the line when all the over-thinking and pretending stops.

Be happy and proud of your self, but don't confuse that with cocky!