Relationship ending in early stages..

juniper2008

Disclaimer: This is probably going to be a fairly lengthy rant. But I'd really appreciate if you read it and maybe took the time to reply. I'm feeling extremely low right now and could do with some insight. Thanks

Ok, this thread is a follow-on from here. To conclude that thread, I actually stayed with the girl and said nothing because we were getting on so well and I really wanted to give things a shot... and now we are here:

So, i've been with this girl for a little under a month now and we were really beginning to hit it off. We got on really well over Christmas, texting and meeting up all the time. I though things were going pretty well, she even introduced me to her brothers and their girlfriends etc. She was even hinting at future things like me visiting her and other stuff..

This whole relationship ending discussion has really come as a complete surprise even though I should have expected it, due to friends advice..

This week (just gone) was her first back in college (distance). We were texting earlier in the week and all going well. Next thing, she goes out one night. After visiting her fb page I saw a post that may suggest she didn't come home after the night out.. (where did she go???)

Then, I don't hear from her until I txt her, no reply for ages (unlike her) then her replies seem short and sweet.. I began to get a cool feeling today so I brought up the relationship and asked was it going to end because she was back in college.

Long story short(er)! We're texting this evening and she tells me she's not sure about it and that she thinks maybe we should end it before somebody gets hurt. I go on and try and argue a few points to try keep things going. She keeps it cool (as if she has her mind made up). I suggest meeting up tomorrow and she agreed.

Side note:A mutual friend did warn me to get rid of this girl sharpish as she tends to get through guys pretty quick.. I understand now she probably said this to keep me from being hurt. I ignored the advice because we seemed to be getting on fine. It appears now that I was just her Christmas guy, quite surprised and hurt really. I feel she may have found a new guy on the night out and no longer has a need for me..

So we will meet up tomorrow to discuss things but i'm a little unsure about how to approach.. this is the main reason i'm posting here, any feedback would be greatly appreciated..:)

• She has told me she likes me but just doesn't want to get hurt again (previous relationship). Should I just try and reassure her that i'm not out to hurt her and that we have been doing pretty well.. should I try and keep the relationship going?
• This is the more likely scenario imho.. There is a chance that she has her mind made up and is being kind and doing the final "breakup" face to face.. Should I just bite the bullet and just go along with whatever she says?

At this point in time I am feeling really really low.. I have this awful hurting sensation at the pit of my stomach. I don't know how i'm going to sleep tonight.. I suppose, as always time will heal this nasty wound!!

Anyway, if you were to give just one piece of feedback i'd like to know your opinion on how I should approach the discussion tomorrow? Do you think this girl has her mind made up and it's already over??

Thanks in advance and sorry about the long post but I feel really low now and i'd just love somebody to talk to..Thanks.

Corkgirl210

Hi there,..

you are doing alot of thinking on her part.. (racing mind/mental movies) it seems like she has commitment issues and it sounds like she is emotionally unavailable (hence the reason she only stays short term with guys)...

this is the last thing you want to hear.. but maybe you have had a lucky escape.. that sick feeling in your stomach is normal.. sheer apprehension and fear.. but remember you cannot make someone change because you want them to... you need to concentrate on yourself.. you deserve better.. if someone stays out all night.. it doesn't sound like she is one to be faithful and committed.. too busy wanting and having fun for a relationship..

You sound like a nice guy.. there are plenty of lovely girls out there.. be good to yourself.. the right person is out there..

Confront her and get it done and over with.. it is the not knowing that is probably killing you.. .

wishing you both well...

juniper2008

Hi, Thanks for the reply.. :-)

I may have put it across incorrectly but she has had many boyfriends before from my understanding of her.. In fact I have had very few and usually have commitment issues.. I went out on a limb for this girl because we got on so well..

I've just had a discussion with the mutual friend and she wreckons the girl in question must have somebody else lined up (from the other night??). This is the reason for the sudden change in tac with our relationship..

You say i'm a nice guy.. Before I would've been considered a womanizer by a lot of people.. I would never hang around for things to get serious..It didn't bother me if I didn't score for six months.. I just didn't want to get attached..

I must say i'm pretty gutted that she is doing this.. I really though we were going to get serious.. This is an absolute disaster for me as it's going to set my confidence/willingness to commit in a big way..

What exactly do you mean when you say "confront her and get it done and over with" ??

I would really like to patch things up with this girl tomorrow...I think this is being a bit ambitious and will result in more bad feelings.

I'm really stuck now..I have exams approaching and this is going to knock me way off balance.

This is just an awful situation.. I'm really beginning to wonder how people expose themselves to relationships at all..

Thanks for reading!!