understanding partners intentions

LegacyUser

Hello all,

Have been seeing my OH for just over a year and love them very much, both late twenties. Relationship has had its share of ups and downs, specifically two short-term splits ( a month apiece)of their instigation. The reasons given were doubts and confusion concerning how much they truly loved me as well as feeling enticed by advances made by an old acquaintance of theirs (nothing ever materialised, it was more so to do with feeling tempted by another).

Second time round I found particularly devastating, found it hugely difficult to cope emotionally, we broke contact completely for approx. a month and a half and with great difficulty I resolved to move on with my life.

We bumped into each other on a night out and one thing led to another......two months later I find myself back in a relationship, seemingly both very happy, nothing to fault etc etc. And yet again the same doubts are raised, out of the blue, without incident or warning. They have since revoked these doubts after talking about them but I'm uneasy and anxious. Am I deceiving myself to see any future in this relationship?

Many thanks.

I am a friend

I would be running for the hills. It looks like history is rePeating itself.

By the way, things don't just happen - you let hem happen and made it too east for him / her to come back.

Pique

itshappeningagain wrote: »

We bumped into each other on a night out and one thing led to another......two months later I find myself back in a relationship, seemingly both very happy, nothing to fault etc etc. And yet again the same doubts are raised, out of the blue, without incident or warning. They have since revoked these doubts after talking about them but I'm uneasy and anxious. Am I deceiving myself to see any future in this relationship?

Many thanks.

Explain. Doubts...why? Without incident...then why?
More info needed.

btw, with that amount of info, and the subsequent response, 'I am a friend' is no friend of yours !.

LegacyUser

Pique wrote: »

Explain. Doubts...why? Without incident...then why?
More info needed.

btw, with that amount of info, and the subsequent response, 'I am a friend' is no friend of yours !.

Specifically, the doubts raised were concerning whether or not they felt like they truly loved me, saw a future together, whether or not they were in the relationship for purely selfish reasons etc etc.

When I say without incident I mean nothing destructive or compromising has affected relationship lately. Outwardly, and to my mind, it seemed to be going well despite our past difficulties.

Apologies if this is confusing...I can explain further if necessary, thanks.

Firetrap

It's hard to know without reading his/her mind. What rang alarm bells for me was the two splits in a a relatively short relationship. Especially the one where your OH was tempted by the other person.

LegacyUser

Write down what you want on a piece of paper....e.g. an honest genuine relationship.
Step two...investigate if this is so....If he loves you, actions speak louder than words.
Do his actions meet with his words? Might help to get to know some friends of his, suss it out, introduce him to your friends.....these are a bit like security check, "scumbag filters".

Is is a quid pro quo (love a bit of latin) relation ship, give and take?
Do you feel happy in your gut?