In a relationship, do you get STI screened regularly?

Endymion

A poster suggested in another thread that anyone sexually active should get screened for STIs regularly. The thought of popping down to the clinic every six months or less while in a committed monogamous relationship seems bizarre to me, but perhaps I'm out of step? Is this considered normal?

Sir Ophiuchus

If you're both monogamous (and trust the other to be monogamous), AND you've both already been tested and found clean, then I wouldn't say there's a need to *keep* being tested. Or using protection, technically.

But it's something I'd still be wary of, unless I was 100% secure in the other person's honesty. Also, plenty of people are passive carriers of STIs without knowing, so testing at least once is still essential. Twice, some time apart, is probably better practice.

Annasopra

Endymion wrote: »

A poster suggested in another thread that anyone sexually active should get screened for STIs regularly. The thought of popping down to the clinic every six months or less while in a committed monogamous relationship seems bizarre to me, but perhaps I'm out of step? Is this considered normal?

If this was me that you are referring to I probably should have qualified it with a bit more - I think that in an exclusive monogamous relationship where there is trust and both have been tested then its not necessary but outside of that then I would recommend regular tests

Dr. Baltar

Agreed with the above. Once you're both tested at the start and you trust one antoher there's no need for further tests. I'd recommend that for straight relationships also.

L1011

Johnnymcg wrote: »

If this was me that you are referring to I probably should have qualified it with a bit more - I think that in an exclusive monogamous relationship where there is trust and both have been tested then its not necessary but outside of that then I would recommend regular tests

It may also have been me (I said it in the boilerhouse/ripped condom thread). I'd have basically the same view; if you're in a one on one relationship its not required.

Endymion

Sir Ophiuchus wrote: »

If you're both monogamous (and trust the other to be monogamous), AND you've both already been tested and found clean, then I wouldn't say there's a need to *keep* being tested. Or using protection, technically.

But it's something I'd still be wary of, unless I was 100% secure in the other person's honesty. Also, plenty of people are passive carriers of STIs without knowing, so testing at least once is still essential. Twice, some time apart, is probably better practice.

Bareback sex still runs the risk of urinary tract infection and urethritis, but you make a fair point. How many heterosexuals get an STI screening before switching to the pill? How many doctors even suggest such a thing. But unprotected sex even in a monogamous gay relationship is not something people talk about.

Johnnymcg wrote: »

If this was me that you are referring to I probably should have qualified it with a bit more - I think that in an exclusive monogamous relationship where there is trust and both have been tested then its not necessary but outside of that then I would recommend regular tests

Dr. Baltar wrote: »

Agreed with the above. Once you're both tested at the start and you trust one antoher there's no need for further tests. I'd recommend that for straight relationships also.

The advice is solid and irrefutably good. But I have to ask, have either you every followed it? I'll hold up my hand and say I've never insisted on an STI screen between engaging in sex with someone, nor have I ever met someone who has. It's a good advice but I think probably a little bit impractical, no?

Dr. Baltar

Endymion wrote: »

The advice is solid and irrefutably good. But I have to ask, have either you every followed it? I'll hold up my hand and say I've never insisted on an STI screen between engaging in sex with someone, nor have I ever met someone who has. It's a good advice but I think probably a little bit impractical, no?

Well, I lost my (straight) virginity a year ago, and my (gay) virginity a few months later. Every sexual encounter I had was protected. I never saw the need to. However, that in itself is hypocrisy. Ideally, I should get tested just in case.

Endymion

But condoms can have shockingly poor ratings, ranging from 2% to 18% failure rates. This site indicates that when it comes to pregnancy, you're almost as well off using the withdrawal method. It's very hard to find statistics on the effectiveness of using condoms during anal sex to prevent STIs, but one thing which is clear, whatever the failure rate for virginal sex, anal sex will be higher. Condoms are just safer sex, the truth is neither you nor I can be sure of our HIV status.

Annasopra

Endymion wrote: »

The advice is solid and irrefutably good. But I have to ask, have either you every followed it? I'll hold up my hand and say I've never insisted on an STI screen between engaging in sex with someone, nor have I ever met someone who has. It's a good advice but I think probably a little bit impractical, no?

I didnt say that I would insist on an STI screen with someone beforehand more that I think its better to get regular STI screenings once you are sexually active non monogamously. I do follow that advice on getting regular STI screenings

L1011

Endymion wrote: »

But condoms can have shockingly poor ratings, ranging from 2% to 18% failure rates.

I've actually never had one fail on me... and I've used enough that 2% would be noticeable.

The quouted failure rates come from a mixture of not knowing how to put them on, attempting to put them on while inebriated, through to false assumptions of when pregnancy started - e.g. people who only use them when they think there's a risk.

If there was an 18% failure rate, I think there'd be a LOT more known about it.

Endymion

Fair play, but that's kinda like closing the door after the horse has bolted. It's not my intention to sound aggressive or confrontational, I've just always found it odd the way gay men and the very young can grab hold of condoms as these mystical things which enables them to have multiple simultaneous casual sexual partner. If you trust you life to a thin piece of latex, you're going to come up short eventually.

MYOB wrote: »

I've actually never had one fail on me... and I've used enough that 2% would be noticeable.

The quouted failure rates come from a mixture of not knowing how to put them on, attempting to put them on while inebriated, through to false assumptions of when pregnancy started - e.g. people who only use them when they think there's a risk.

If there was an 18% failure rate, I think there'd be a LOT more known about it.

Yes, the 18% failure rate is for miss use, and the 2% failure rate is for correct use. Again not referenced against anal sex. Tbh, I've no idea if 2% is a reliable figure, but how many people closely inspect a condom afterwards?

bodice ripper

I'm in a 12 year relationship at this point. I have never been for a strictly STI test.

I do get blood tests for my job though, ad I always get a screen for everything available when I get bloods drawn - why not? Once they are taking blood anyway...

L1011

Endymion wrote: »

Yes, the 18% failure rate is for miss use, and the 2% failure rate is for correct use. Again not referenced against anal sex. Tbh, I've no idea if 2% is a reliable figure, but how many people closely inspect a condom afterwards?

The 2% figure is still going to be affected by people who have reported correct use when not.

As goes close inspection - when stretched latex tears, it tears quickly. You won't need close inspection.

Annasopra

Endymion wrote: »

Fair play, but that's kinda like closing the door after the horse has bolted. It's not my intention to sound aggressive or confrontational, I've just always found it odd the way gay men and the very young can grab hold of condoms as these mystical things which enables them to have multiple simultaneous casual sexual partner. If you trust you life to a thin piece of latex, you're going to come up short eventually.

Yes, the 18% failure rate is for miss use, and the 2% failure rate is for correct use. Again not referenced against anal sex. Tbh, I've no idea if 2% is a reliable figure, but how many people closely inspect a condom afterwards?

No

Im well aware that the only safe sex is abstinence - that would be the reason for regular screening

Aard

We both got tested early in the relationship, and I had had one prior to that.


I hope it gets more normal for couples to get tested together. I'd say there's a huge stigma out there, and many people wouldn't bring it up for fear of insulting their partner.