How to tell about surgery?

LegacyUser

I just need some advice on how to tell someone something awkward. I've met a great guy online and we get on really great and would like to meet soon. I've told him that I can't meet for a few months and made the reason sound vague so now things have a cooled a bit, we're still friends and in regular contact but it's really hard to do the just friends thing and also the fact that it's like I've rejected him or maybe he feels I'm playing games.

Basically the reason is around 6 weeks ago I had breast reduction surgery and I just don't know how to tell him this. We communicate mostly by email.
I didn't want to tell him too early but also don't want to leave it till the last minute after we've met face to face.

I am happy with the result of the surgery, it's just that the scars will take a long time to heal and will look just ugly for the next few months. He seems to think I look attractive so this would be the last thing he'd expect. I would really like to tell him before meeting him face to face but don't know how or even if I should as that would be like presuming that he'll want to sleep with me when we meet and this is not something we've decided on as technically we're just friends but like I said there's definitely attraction there.

Please give me some advice how to approach this or what is the best thing to do?

Neyite

I reckon that he thinks you are not interested due to your vague response.

why not follow- up with a short message telling him that in hindsight your response might sound like you dont want to meet up, however, you do, and that its just you had a recent operation, and you are taking your recovery slowly. Once you get chatting again like you were, you might find a way to bring it up what the surgery involved.

There is nothing wrong with telling him face to face when you meet. If he already knows you had an operation, he will be expecting you to have scars somewhere. if you get intimate, you can just say you prefer to leave your bra on unitl you are comfortable.

Taltos

Maybe just float past him that you had a "procedure" - hence your recent change in talking. No need to go beyond that - again if you decide to tell him later - much better face to face.

curlzy

I think you can totally over think these things. If he's not a complete plank why would he care? Do you think it reflects badly on you? It doesn't. I'd say he'll more than likely think "boob reduction, YESSSS" as it usually means going from a very very very big bust to a big bust and men seem to like busts in general. Don't be feeling bad about it. Like I said only a knobhead would think anything negative about it and sure you wouldn't want to be with a knobhead anyways. With regards scars, they fade and like someone else said just leave on the bra until you're comfortable. You can defo overthink these things. Like when I had to tell my bf I have MS, totally overthought it, told him about it and he was like "ah that sucks" and I was like "I don't think you get what MS is" and he was like "eh yeah I do, it's no big deal, you're on meds so you'll be grand". I think sometimes guys are alot smarter than girls about not sweating the stuff that at the end of the day just don't matter. So yeah just tell him, it's only a big deal if you make it one. Oh and congrats on the new boobs!!!