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  • 04-01-2011 3:40pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    A long term friend of the family was showing lots of interest in me. Texts, visits etc and and I went along with it and we spent the night together. I was called 'The Girlfriend' etc and he talked of long term plans even though I didnt in any way encourage it. I didnt really comment on it.

    But it seems he has made an idiot of me, gone a bit cold (after the night together). Now Ive been extremely hurt after a long term and abusive relationship, gave myself time to get over it. Kids involved too and I did really trust this guy not to break my heart and left myself wide open.

    Now as he is a friend of the family I dont know how to react next i.e. text and ask him to explain why he hurt me like this basically using me for one night or should I just do absolutely nothing? He had said he would be in touch during the week yesterday but has today deleted pictures of us together from his social networking site so I dont think that is going to happen. Bear in mind that if I do nothing I am likely to bump into him sooner or later or members of his family whom he told we were an item.

    I feel like such an idiot and the little remains of confidence I had after what my ex done to me are now in shatters.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,988 ✭✭✭SirDelboy18


    I think you went along with it too easily. He attempted to play you in a way. You, lacking in stability and confidence, were on the arm of a rock in the form of this man. He told people that you were his girlfriend because it would have made you feel, without even realising it perhaps, more open to intimacy.

    I know that you are in a bad way now, but you shouldn't linger on it. Next time you meet him make sure that you have another male on your arm. And this guy will seem like the fool with egg on his face. Get out there and have some fun. Make them work for it and they will reply with greater dedication.

    Good Luck


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    veryhurt wrote: »
    A long term friend of the family was showing lots of interest in me. Texts, visits etc and and I went along with it and we spent the night together. I was called 'The Girlfriend' etc and he talked of long term plans even though I didnt in any way encourage it. I didnt really comment on it.

    You had no say in it at all? Why enter a relationship here you had no say?

    Your passiveness really shows that you're not ready to go out with someone yet. Take time to get to know yourself again, start doing the things you like to do, don't let yourself be rail roaded into things you're not really interested in. Being with a man is not the be all and end all. Having high self esteem is far more important and it'd be well worth your while to work on it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for replies. At the moment I am very hurt but not so much at the fact he is gone but more so because he knows my background and knows me a very long time so I trusted him and he still did this to me and he didnt even have the decency to ring me up or even a text to explain himself. Instead he got another notch on his bedpost. The only way I found out was the absence of the pic of us together.

    I know I could ring or text and ask for an explanation but I don't think there is a point. I have taken time to myself already, Ive taken several years to get to the point where I would even look at a man again and look what happens :-(


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