too early to move in together?

LegacyUser

Hi

I met my girlfriend in college about a year ago. Its a very serious relationship and we do spend alot of time together. We get on great and love each other too bits.
Even though we spend alot time together we still like our own space and I think thats mutually respected. We're still in colege for the next 2 years at least.

I spose you see we are not very sociable people, we hate flat sharing like you wouldnt believe because we find it stressful trying to live witha complete stranger. We both have the same ideas and standards about housework and cleaning and we're both easy going (But not messy!)

Another thing that makes living together desirable is its not helping our sex life. Neither of us ever have a place to ourselves and we're constantly just getting in quickies while one of our flatmates is out. We both find it very fustrating and on more than a few occasions have sat in the bedroom just waiting for people to leave!!!
Even without taking sex into consideration, we cant just cuddle up on the couch in front of TV without feeling awkward if someone comes in.

So I suppose what Im asking is, despite all this is it still a bad idea? I love the girl and would hate to wreck the relationship. Im 22 and shes 20 and I dunno if we're still to young for this kinda thing. We're not looking at it like "lets move in and spend the rest of our lives together" but more like "lets make the most of it because in 2 years work might have us on opposite sides of the world!"

Thanks for reading X

LegacyUser

hey OP,

the best way of finding out if your compatable is to live together. At least if you go for it now, and find out it doesn't work out, it's better than spending the next 2 years together and trying later, and realising after a lot of time has been invested that you're not suited. I say this from experience- after 4yrs I was crazy about a guy but we had some issued, moving in confirmed them and we split up.

It sounds like you both have the same expectations on sharing a living space which is the most important thing, so I don't see why it wouldn't work. Just remember to keep your friends and your family close, don't get too caught up in the relationship, and allow for a good few months of settling period - including fights on laundry, space to yourselves etc. Good luck!!

Chinafoot

Go for it.

Nobody here can tell you you're too young or not ready. We don't know you or your relationship. If you both feel its right and you're both in a position financially to do it then there's nothing to stop you.

It can be an adjustment but its definitely worth it when it works out

ElleEm

I agree with the other posters- GO FOR IT!
By the sounds of your relationship, you are both aware of what you want/ need from a "flatmate". You'll have a great time but beware of the settling in time the other posters mentioned- it will take some time to adjust but I would say just go for it. You have nothing to lose!!

Faith

Go for it. You could always get a 2-bed place and have a room each. That allows you to have some space and wouldn't feel as full-on as moving in to a 1-bed place together.

Firetrap

I don't see that you've got anything to lose. Most couples end up moving in together anyway and it might be just that you've found "the one" earlier in life than other people. You'll find out soon enough how compatible you are - as the old saying goes "If you want to know me, come live with me". Best of luck :pac:

killerking

kdkfsojfd wrote: »

Hi

I met my girlfriend in college about a year ago. Its a very serious relationship and we do spend alot of time together. We get on great and love each other too bits.
Even though we spend alot time together we still like our own space and I think thats mutually respected. We're still in colege for the next 2 years at least.

I spose you see we are not very sociable people, we hate flat sharing like you wouldnt believe because we find it stressful trying to live witha complete stranger. We both have the same ideas and standards about housework and cleaning and we're both easy going (But not messy!)

Another thing that makes living together desirable is its not helping our sex life. Neither of us ever have a place to ourselves and we're constantly just getting in quickies while one of our flatmates is out. We both find it very fustrating and on more than a few occasions have sat in the bedroom just waiting for people to leave!!!
Even without taking sex into consideration, we cant just cuddle up on the couch in front of TV without feeling awkward if someone comes in.

So I suppose what Im asking is, despite all this is it still a bad idea? I love the girl and would hate to wreck the relationship. Im 22 and shes 20 and I dunno if we're still to young for this kinda thing. We're not looking at it like "lets move in and spend the rest of our lives together" but more like "lets make the most of it because in 2 years work might have us on opposite sides of the world!"

Thanks for reading X

If it feels right do it. If your doubts outweigh your enthusiasm then don't.
You will never know unless you try it.
You might move out and just end up in a flat with walls as thin as paper and could be waking up the neighbors when you are having sex.
In the meantime hearing a couple going at it like a hammer and thongs is part and parcel of sharing with other flatmates so if your fellow flatmates don't like it, tough.
If they don't want to hear they should try turning up the TV or sticking cotton wool in their ears.

Fittle

I second what others have said and would say go for it.

I would take another posters advice and get a 2 bed place though!
That way, you both have a space to yourselves or a space to be together - whatever suits most. And IF it doesn't work, you can give each other some breathing space..but I don't see why it won't work.:D

Best of luck OP.

johnr1

+1 to most of the advice already given and another point is that even if it doesent work out in the long term, the experience of having lived with a partner will stand to both of you in the future.
Go for it