I find lots of common interests boring

LegacyUser

Long time poster, going unregged.

I'm female, and in my twenties. I'm generally very happy and I have a good group of friends. For the most part, my life revolves completely around work and most of my friends are on the same career path so we have a lot to talk about.

However, I don't like the whole pub/club scene. I'm not into sport or celebrity culture. I detest shopping and have no interest in clothes or make-up (I wear both, just don't understand the need to discuss them). I have genuinely tried to like these things. I know that people who respond will say that I don't 'have to' like anything for the sake of others, but I would really much prefer to as I think it would make things easier for me. If I fake it (and I have tried) then it comes across as fake.

I do enjoy DIY. I'm a decent cook. I read a lot and go hillwalking. I love going for coffee with friends, or even for a few drinks somewhere quiet. I also have a passing interest in music, but have no desire to see it live. I watch telly too, but that's not really much of an interest.

I'm not sure how to phrase my problem precisely, as it's not as though I lack friends. Most of my acquaintances dislike one or two aspects of what I have listed, but I haven't met anyone who doesn't enjoy such a large chunk of this stuff!

Sometimes this makes me feel a little bit... left out, for want of a better word. Almost like I'm missing out/missing some obvious point that everyone else 'gets'.

Just to clarify, I get by fine socially and I don't have any lack of interest in life in general. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but all comments are welcome.

JuliusCaesar

Your friends reflect parts of you - some friends enjoy cinema with you, others love hillwalking and camping and nature, others (your book club) like reading. Few people if any will share all your interests. The point is to find people with common interests to YOU.

(Personally, celebrity discussions bore me stupid. Ditto with make up, and clothes usually. And I have been known to go off into mega-yawns when people talk to me about celebrities, and to change the subject. If anyone can tell me why intelligent people with interesting lives themselves feel a need to discuss total strangers, let me know. It's not like celebrities have any influence on anything important.) Sorry for rant.

killerking

WXYZ1234 wrote: »

Long time poster, going unregged.

I'm female, and in my twenties. I'm generally very happy and I have a good group of friends. For the most part, my life revolves completely around work and most of my friends are on the same career path so we have a lot to talk about.

However, I don't like the whole pub/club scene. I'm not into sport or celebrity culture. I detest shopping and have no interest in clothes or make-up (I wear both, just don't understand the need to discuss them). I have genuinely tried to like these things. I know that people who respond will say that I don't 'have to' like anything for the sake of others, but I would really much prefer to as I think it would make things easier for me. If I fake it (and I have tried) then it comes across as fake.

I do enjoy DIY. I'm a decent cook. I read a lot and go hillwalking. I love going for coffee with friends, or even for a few drinks somewhere quiet. I also have a passing interest in music, but have no desire to see it live. I watch telly too, but that's not really much of an interest.

I'm not sure how to phrase my problem precisely, as it's not as though I lack friends. Most of my acquaintances dislike one or two aspects of what I have listed, but I haven't met anyone who doesn't enjoy such a large chunk of this stuff!

Sometimes this makes me feel a little bit... left out, for want of a better word. Almost like I'm missing out/missing some obvious point that everyone else 'gets'.

Just to clarify, I get by fine socially and I don't have any lack of interest in life in general. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but all comments are welcome.

You are a tomboy and not a girlie-girl? No point in trying to be friendly with people who are chalk and cheese with you. You are who you are and you are not going to be best suited to be sociable with people who have interests that irritate the hell out of you? You know what you really like and you know what you don't like because you tried and failed to like the rest. So now you can really let go and be yourself. You should be glad that you actually know who you are and what you really like rather than living a lie. So be positive rather than feeling left out.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. They really did help me to clear up how I feel about it in my own head.

It's not that I seek out the company of those with whom I have nothing in common, but I do end up in it from time to time and this makes me feel out of place.

I think I just wish I didn't dislike such a large chunk of stuff.

I don't expect to have everything in common with my friends at all - I don't think that would be a good thing at all.

Thank you both again.

unreggd

Hi OP

I'm the same in many ways, and I understand the frustration!

Im a guy in my 20s

I dont drink at all anymore, but I still enjoy goin to good pubs/clubs, whereas mates just wanna go to sh*tholes with cheap drink purely to get hammered

I love playin sports, but I have ZERO interest in following football

Love drivin, but not into mad convos about cars


As was mentioned, dont ever change yourself to fit in, and take pride in the fact that you know what you like/want, as opposed to following the rest of the ants!

And indeed you most likely wont find mates who 100% like what you do. If you do, get married! :P

I'm sure theres good groups in what your interests are [DIY, cooking, reading, hillwalking]

So dont fret, its all good

Firetrap

That's part of the fun of growing up and learning more about yourself. Realising what you like and discarding the junk that you think growing up that you're supposed to like but don't. I think we're all used to sitting through conversations at one time or another where people discuss things that you've zero knowledge of or interest in.