Friend asked me to get gig ticket but hasn't paid me

Batgurl

3 months ago I was buying tickets for a gig which is happening next year. A friend who is also going asked me to get hers as she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get them as she was working.

She said she'd give me the money the next day so I said I would.

I bought the tickets on my credit card and she promised to pay me the next time she saw me. I've seen her a few times since and she never gave me the money.

About a month ago I text her asking her if she could possibly transfer the money into my account online as I wanted to get my CC balance clear before Christmas and she said sorry but she was totally broke and she'd give it to me when she gets it.

Since then I've heard nothing...even though I've seen and spoken to her a few times since.

I don't really want to make an issue of it as I value our friendship too much but it just annoys me because I'm the kind of person who HATES owing people anything.

I know I should just ask her for it again but I don't want to seem scabby.

Any advice on what to do?

Wurly

You're not being scabby considering you were good enough to buy the tickets in the first place.

Your friend is being rude and obviously doesn't mind compromising the value of the friendship.

Tell her you need your money. Offer to call round to collect it. Seriously - you've nothing to feel bad about here. The brass neck on people sometimes is unreal.

tinkerbell

OP, you should not think of yourself as "scabby". This girl owes you money for 3 months now and she quite clearly doesn't see it as a priority to pay you back. You need to start hassling her for it. Every time you speak to her, ask her for the money back. Tell her you need the money now and you cannot wait any longer and it is not fair that she won't pay you back when she promised that she would pay you immediately.

convert

Have you still got the ticket or have you given it to her already? If you still have it, then don't give it to her until she pays you.

If you have already given it to her, then I'd just tell her that you're stuck and really, really need the money right away. It's not being scabby, just realistic. She said she'd pay you and she hasn't... As somebody else said, mention it to her each time you see her or chat to her.

Neyite

Text her and pick a date that coincides with her next payday (Post pressie buying everybody is poor, eg end of Jan) and tell her that if she does not give you the money by that date, you are selling the ticket.

Dont beg her anymore. You both know she owes you money, and she is an adult, not a child, so she has until the date you specified to pay her way or she loses out.

Cheap Thrills!

Don't give her the ticket.

Esroh

Remember it the price of the ticket + 3 months Interest. That means she is getting it cheaper than it would have cost her on her own CC if she had not paid her balance.
Thats not being scabby

tenchi-fan

Hi op

Sell the ticket. Even if you make a small loss. Your friend promised you the money the next day and three months later you still don't have it even though you asked her for it.

She wasn't worried whether you yourself were left short over xmas or left paying interest on the debt.

Oh, and NEVER mix money and friendships.

dudara

If you haven't given her the ticket yet, then I'd suggest selling it and getting your money back. You're not a charity and you can't be expected to keep on waiting for your money.

Edit - I should add that you should offer her a certain timeframe (i.e. 1-2 weeks) to pay you first. Don't sell it directly out from under her)

calex71

I'm with the others here OP, sell it and sooner rather than later.

I would say with 99% certainty that your 'pal' wont even bother going to the show. It's her that is being scabby here not you and don't for a minute think other wise.

panda100

Jeez I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone on here! Selling the ticket on without telling her would be a pretty nasty thing to do to a mate. Christmas can be a really strained financial time for some people.Maybe she thought she would have the money and then has just genuinely forgot about it since you last mentioned it.

Just explain to her that you are a bit hard up for cash because the credit card bill is looming and you desperately need the money asap. Explain that If you don't get it then you will have to sell on the ticket.

ziedth

Even though you'd be "right" to sell the ticket any mutual friend who hears the story is going to think your a cow.

If you have the ticket. Just keep it till the day and don't give it to her if she doesn't have the money and sell it there.

LegacyUser

Tell her to pay you within a week or you are selling it. I hate twats like this who dont pay what they owe. They are also the ones who will not hesitate in demanding the money back asap if the roles were reversed.

Monkey Allen

Your friend might be going through some extra sensitive financial issues right now and is embarrassed by not having the money to give to you. Simply put, you dont know her situation yet. Its worth asking her about it and offering some advice. Dont get tough with her as even though you're friends, she might feel too proud about her money situation to tell you straight out that she's broke for the unforeseeable future.

That being said, you need your money and selling the ticket to another friend would work out well. Explain to your friend that you might need to do this. Dont, like I said before, dont get tough with her. Its hard times in Ireland. People have been making mistakes with their money since the Eighties. Give her a bit of sympathy and help her out with advice.

LegacyUser

Monkey Allen wrote: »

Your friend might be going through some extra sensitive financial issues right now and is embarrassed by not having the money to give to you. Simply put, you dont know her situation yet. Its worth asking her about it and offering some advice. Dont get tough with her as even though you're friends, she might feel too proud about her money situation to tell you straight out that she's broke for the unforeseeable future.

That being said, you need your money and selling the ticket to another friend would work out well. Explain to your friend that you might need to do this. Dont, like I said before, dont get tough with her. Its hard times in Ireland. People have been making mistakes with their money since the Eighties. Give her a bit of sympathy and help her out with advice.

Eh, hang on a second, its not the OP who is at fault here. If you used your logic every time someone owed you money, you would find yourself being taken advantage of every day of the week by people who see you are a soft touch. 9 times out of 10 when someone is trying to avoid paying what they owe after you have asked them multiple times about it, its because they are scabby. This kind of situation is when you see if a person is really a true friend.

Her friend is a grown woman and is working. She either pays up for the ticket now or she tells OP she cannot afford it. Anything else is taking the piss. And OP I have been in your shoes a few times and used to have the same attitude of not wanting 'to seem scabby'. Eventually I realised that that is seen as a weakness by some people and they will have no problem messing you around as they figure you are too 'nice' to demand your money back. Nowadays I will not let up if owed money by somebody and I dont sit around trying to convince myself that the other person is grand and I'll eventually get paid. And miraculously people who would not pay me back for months, if ever, suddenly are able to pay me back within a very short space of time.

seamus

Send her a text or tell her that you're being charged interest on your credit card for the cost of the ticket, so you're selling it in order to clear your card.

She'll probably find the money quick enough then.

Run_to_da_hills

If anyone done this to me they would not be a friend.

I have had enough of this experience in my collage days to differentiate between friends and users.

sam34

panda100 wrote: »

Jeez I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone on here! Selling the ticket on without telling her would be a pretty nasty thing to do to a mate. Christmas can be a really strained financial time for some people.

equally, asking a friend to buy something for you and promising to pay within 24 hours, but failing to do so, and not paying in the next three months, despite being asked outright for the money, and knowing the friend had put the purchase on her credit card and thus is being charged interest on it, is a pretty nasty thing to do to a mate.


maybe the OP is one of the many people for whom Christmas is a financial strain and cannot afford to subsidise her friend any more

ztoical

panda100 wrote: »

Jeez I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone on here! Selling the ticket on without telling her would be a pretty nasty thing to do to a mate. Christmas can be a really strained financial time for some people.Maybe she thought she would have the money and then has just genuinely forgot about it since you last mentioned it.

But she bought the ticket 3 months ago well before xmas after being told by the friend she would pay for it within 24 hours. The friend didn't ask the OP to buy the ticket due to being short of cash but because she claimed she wouldn't be able to buy hers as she was working.

John400

Batgurl wrote: »

About a month ago I text her asking her if she could possibly transfer the money into my account online as I wanted to get my CC balance clear before Christmas and she said sorry but she was totally broke and she'd give it to me when she gets it.

OP, the thing about that is, believe me, she had money available to buy Christmas presents. As a working adult she can withdraw/put away funds for significant others but she can't withdraw extra for a ticket which she initially instructed you to get?

OP, if i was you and i got an opportunity to do so, i'd call over to her house or her family's over the Christmas/New year period and i'd embarass her into paying you.

panda100

sam34 wrote: »

equally, asking a friend to buy something for you and promising to pay within 24 hours, but failing to do so, and not paying in the next three months, despite being asked outright for the money, and knowing the friend had put the purchase on her credit card and thus is being charged interest on it, is a pretty nasty thing to do to a mate.


maybe the OP is one of the many people for whom Christmas is a financial strain and cannot afford to subsidise her friend any more

Seriously I don't see this as a 'nasty' thing to do to a friend. Seriously how much would be interest on a gig ticket? Hardly enough to financially bankrupt the op, which is how some people on here are talking.

Don't get me wrong, I think the friend should have paid up by now. But people on here saying that she's a user and not a true friend is a bit much considering the actual price of a gig.She's hardly given her a thousand euro loan!

If I was the OP then I would ask one more time to have the money asap. If the friend is really hard up maybe you can come to some arrangment about her paying for the drinks or taxi on night of the gig?
Sometimes these things just skip peoples minds, and she may just geuinely have forgot that she owes you money.I would be a pissed of if a friend sold on my ticket without letting me know she was doing it.

mikemac

Ask one last time in person or by phone.
No more text messages or emails. Just ask straight out.

If it's not sorted then sell the ticket and when your friends ask, tell them why.
You don't want her twisting this around and bad mouthing you

tenchi-fan

Monkey Allen wrote: »

Your friend might be going through some extra sensitive financial issues right now and is embarrassed by not having the money to give to you. Simply put, you dont know her situation yet. .

Nope.. this is exactly why some people are walked over all their life.

judge people by their actions, not the excuses you make for them.

If the "friend" doesn't have the money, you'll probably find they're planning a few nights out over new years and they would prefer the op to go short rather than themselves.

If the friend still has financial issues closer to the event date the op will probably get a text at the last minute saying "i can't go. really sorry. go ahead and sell the ticket".. leaving it so late the op will have a lot of hassle selling the ticket and the possibility of being stuck with it.

Monkey Allen

Theres definitely an issue on Boards of people mis reading posts. I never said that the OP should let her friend away with this. But neither should she just get tough with her without looking for the reason. Just selling the ticket could mean saying good bye to the friendship. A ticket isnt worth that surely. Find out why you havent been paid and then explain why you need to sell the ticket.

Thats not being a push over, its being a friend and, at the same time, assertive.

Fluorescence

If it's been 3 months then it's fair game. Tell her you really need the money to pay off some bills, so if you don't have it by the end of the week you'll sell it on to someone else. At the end of the day, it's just a gig ticket so there's no need to fall out over it, but do take a mental note of people you can trust to lend money to etc in the future.

Chuchoter

3 months is more than enough to pay. This happened to me last year and it was nearly 60 euro, after 6 months I texted her saying I was selling them.

John400

feelingstressed wrote: »

You don't want her twisting this around and bad mouthing you

How on earth can the OP's friend 'bad mouth' her?

The OP was looking for the money that her friend promised that she would give her. The OP's friend has zero ammunition.

ztoical

John400 wrote: »

How on earth can the OP's friend 'bad mouth' her?

The OP was looking for the money that her friend promised that she would give her. The OP's friend has zero ammunition.

You'd be surprised how people can twist something around esp when it relates to money. They can start a sob story about how they had some health issue or family issue that required all their free cash and they were going to pay the OP really soon and told the OP this etc etc blah blah...it then comes down to the OP's version of events vs the 'Friends'.