holiday dillemma

LegacyUser

i am quite close to my cousin who is 22. A while back she lost her job and was struggling for money. she went back studying and to cheer her up i asked her if she would like a holiday to florida in jan as her xmas present. she said yes she would love to go was really excited as she has never been abroad except to england for a weekend so i booked whole package for her for a week cost €600 nice 5 star hotel.

she said she would save her spending money but last two months she has managed to get part time temp work in retail just up until xmas and she has blown every penny she earned on loads of unnessary stuff drinking 3 nights a week vasts amounts of clothes and expensive christmas pressies.

she had 400 spending money put away for trip but now shes broke. she keeps breaking in on it. she says shes not leaving herself skint to go and that 200 will do her as shes not spending or buying anything. originally she said she would bring about 900 and that just kept going down and down now at €200. She now doesnt seem enthusiastic about it at all. I feel terrible now. I know she wont have enough money for all trips we would go on over there with disney,etc. she also has to appy for that permit to enter the us but keeps saying she will do it.

I dont know what to do now as it is all non refundable, any advice?

dudara

Hi opal126

I hope you don't mind but I edited your post to add some paragraphs and full stops. It was written in one continuous block of text and was hard to read.

dudara

Nody

The online application is 14 USD and you're approved on the spot (if all clears). The thing is though that she's an adult and she needs to learn to manage her own money; if she can't then giving her more money is not going to help her.

Only advice I can give would be to look at alternative trips / step in and pay for trips on the spot but don't tell her that until you're there. If not she'll simply blow more money expecting you to keep on paying for stuff.

sam34

Nody wrote: »

Only advice I can give would be to look at alternative trips / step in and pay for trips on the spot but don't tell her that until you're there. If not she'll simply blow more money expecting you to keep on paying for stuff.

i would do teh exact opposite, tbh.

why should the OP miss out on trips they had planned because of the cousins sheer inability to budget and save?

if the op acccommodates her and arranges alternative trips or pays for her, then the cousin will never learn the value of money. if she wants to go to disneyland but cant, then tough.

let her see that money doesnt grow on trees, and let her realise that she is an adult and others are not going to subsidise her forever more

tinkerbell

OP - your cousin is 22, not 2, she knows that she will need money to support herself over there. However, she's probably seeing you as a free ride - you've already paid for the trip, so she is assuming that you will just bail her out when you are over there.

Explain to her that you have paid for the trip itself, but you will not be able to pay for her over there. She will need to pay for her food, drinks, entrance fees into the theme parks, taxi trips to and from the airport and other transportation costs, general spending money, etc. Make sure that she is well aware that this is no free ride - otherwise when she's over there, she'll be like "oh please can you pay for me just this once" and blah blah, next thing you know you're funding the whole trip.

You've already been incredibly generous by paying for the trip for her, so put your foot down.

Chinafoot

If it were me I'd be sitting her down and asking her what she's playing at. I'd be telling her that I had put up a lot of cash to do something nice for her and I find it very disrespectful and ungrateful to see her not arsed about the trip. I'd also let her know that I had no intention of paying her way on the trip as she had plenty of opportunity to get spending money together. €200 for a week in Florida? Is she planning to never leave the hotel?

OP, she sounds like a brat. I would be absolutely disgusted if I was in your position. How ungrateful is she?!

If talking to her about this gets you nowhere I would seriously consider finding someone else to go with you. Change the name on the flights/hotel and let that ungrateful little madam sit at home enjoying her new clothes and her hangover.

tinkerbell

I totally agree with Chinafoot. I mean a one day ticket by itself to get into Disney is $80 or something? How does she think she's going to pay for it? I definitely would sit her down and ask her what she is playing at and if she doesn't have the funds to go then you will find someone else to go in her place.

booboo88

I have an idea, bring me......