used i think

LegacyUser

Im a 23 year old unemployed male livin in rural ireland.,UP UNTIL i was 18.19 i was i very confident chap with the choice of the ladies...but a tragic circumstance happened and it changed me for good, im no longer confident just a daze walkin around the place. many of my mates think im vulnerable very vulnerable that they take advantage of me.. i always know they do but never say nothing.like at the stage where iv actually nothing for xmas,

Ill go back a little up until i was 18/19 i was very confident always had women never a worry in the world.

since then and on im very depressed, had a very bad break up and fell out with one of my best mates which is unfixable. belive me,
Im always depressed , always wake up feeling useless, its not that im lazy theres just nothing around here.
My family most of them have come to really dislike me cos im always moody and takinit out on them and really saying bad stuff to them.
I dono im in a really deep hole and to be honest i see no way out lifes to much at times, for instance, if i have a ****e day, i,ll come home take it out on my ma or da who dont deserve it, and after doing that i go to my room and really feel like just ending it .Im a chronic weed smoker ,like half ounce a week to myself and if i dont have all the money for thses friends they add on 50 a time, i know there doing it but they think i dont. i really just think im on the verge of freaking out and noone really gives a fcuk, they just wanna use me!
I know its xmas eve and i dont wanna get anyone down, but noone ever wants to listen to me tats al

LegacyUser

Hey man,

first of all, we've all gone through rough patches, but yours seems a bit more serious than others. You haven't explained what occurred a few months/ years back, but I hope that it wasn't life-threatening and that in time you will feel better.

First of all you need to talk to your Mum or Dad (which ever you're more comfortable with). Tell them that you know you've been irritable and that apologise for acting out on them. If they know what happened to you at 18 then they probably have a fair idea, but it's best to apologise anyway.

I have to admit that I'm in a similar situation to yourself. Used to be an ultra-confident person and now I'm very shy. These things happen in life and if we both used to be confident, the shyness is just a symptom of what has happened to us and will eventually go away.

In terms of depression I'd speak to your GP as they are usually the port of call. Smoking weed, or doing any drugs (including alcohol), could be a factor in feeling so down or could be aggrivating the situation. I'd have a frank discussion with GP or even with someone from Aware on the phone. The GP could suggest more exercise, change to diet, medication or therapy. Many benefit from medication and therapy combined. CBT is a form of therapy that doesn't look at what happened to you, but more about how you deal with your emotions. I think it's particularly an appropriate therapy for lads who don't wanna talk about every detail of their emotional problems, but more about how they deal with them.

Your friends may be taking advantage of you, but I would suggest distancing yourself from them anyway. If I had friends who treated me that way I'd just walk away. I realise you live in a rural area, and I know how that feels... But trying to look after yourself, and getting support from your parents, is more important than a few idiot friends who treat you badly. You're more important right now than a dodgy dealer.

Try to forget about it all today and enjoy Christmas. If you get your Mum/ Dad on their own today and have a few drinks, let them know that you're sorry for being mean some times. They will think so highly of you for saying something.

Happy Christmas.

Richy06

The root of your problem is the fact that you smoke half an ounce of weed a week. Stop this and your mood, energy levels and money problems will cease.

tenchi-fan

You're 23 and moaning that your friends are doing you out of your dole money by selling you overpriced illegal drugs.

Your problem isn't that people are using you. It's that you got used to playing the victim the whole time.

You need to get out of the rut. Bin the weed, have a shower and go for a long walk with a fresh perspective on life.

Zen65

private lad wrote: »

Im a chronic weed smoker ,like half ounce a week to myself and if i dont have all the money for thses friends they add on 50 a time, i know there doing it but they think i dont. i really just think im on the verge of freaking out and noone really gives a fcuk, they just wanna use me!

Op,

At 23 years of age you have lived only one-third (or less) of your full lifetime. You can choose to continue your life exactly as it has been for the past 5-6 years, or you can decide to make a change.

The very first change you need to make is to stop smoking weed. As long as you continue to use this substance you will not be in control of your emotions, and your behaviours will tend to be self-destructive. Get help for it, talk to your parents, or your GP, or here.

Whatever other problems you may have, the most urgent step for you right now is to get to grips with this addiction. You still have two-thirds of a life to live, so give yourself the best option to enjoy that time.

Be at peace,


Z

Hank_Jones

Drugs seem to be the root of your problems.

It's most likely causing your depression and is definitely causing your money problems.

Stop smoking weed and get some exercise.
If you actually do this, after about a month you will feel much better.
Plus you'll be filling your time in which you previously smoked weed.

Weed is a load of crap, it's full of chemicals that mess with your head and causes paranoia and depression.

I know, I smoked the stuff for years, then moved onto other "recreational" drugs.
Ditch them, seriously, you'll never get sorted if you don't.
Don't let others try and influence you, it's your life.