|Pressie Dilemma please help !

boxoff

Hi guys,
My boyfriend of a year and I just exchanged xmas pressies today, we were a lilbit naughty and nice and opened them....
He just spoilt me rotten and spent what i reckon about a 1000e on all my pressies, me on the other hand spent id say about 250 - 300 e
Now folks I know its the thought that counts blah blah blah...... but I still feel a teeny tiny bit bad! I mean I didnt need xmas to realise how good I have it but can anyone offer some wisedom on what I feel kinda bad about - he spoilt me complety rotten and I got him a few thing not half as good as what I got - I mean he still liked it but just feel a bit annoyed with myslf for not thinking of more ideas for him please help! xxx

dudara

Was he pleased/happy with what you got him?

wirelessdude01

A 1000euro. Seriously is that not a little over the top.

I'm sure he was happy with what you got him.

LegacyUser

1000euro over the top?? id say 250-300 was even over the top!!

unless you both have the exact same amount of disposable income then of course somebody is going to spend more

if it is making you feel bad then you could but him something else and in the future set limits on the presents

id suggest 50euro max!! makes things less about the material gifts and more about just enjoying the occasion

LegacyUser

He spent a GRAND on presents??!! I'm shocked that anyone would be that indulgent this Christmas. A hundred would be a very generous amount to spend.

The very last thing you should do is feel bad that you didn't spend as much.. To be honest, he should feel bad and guilty that there are families out there this Christmas whose kids are getting no Santa presents or that have to resort to St. Vincent De Paul for grocery money. I don't want to sound preachy or holier than thou but come on...Even people who have a lot of disposable income this Xmas aren't spending it like that

If you're even considering spending more on him, don't. Give it to a charity instead.

I think it's usually a good idea to set a limit beforehand. I would have been happy to spend 50-70 on my boyfriend, but we decided it would be better if we set a low limit. We ended up going for 10 euro each. It was actually fun going out finding something little but thoughtful for him, and we both wrapped our gifts up in a fun way. I got him a massive beer glass and some old fashioned sweets that he likes, and wrapped it all up in the shape of a teddy bear so he couldn't figure out what it was. It was so much fun, and we both ended up with great gifts but not out of pocket. Maybe do that next time.

As for the current problem, to be honest when it comes to gifting someone you're going out with, people are usually more worried that the gift they're giving is okay, rather than caring about what they get. You're boyfriend was probably relieved that you didn't spend more than him. Would the price be that obvious anyway? I really wouldn't worry about it, and if it bothers you that much, talk to him about it.

ted1

the day isn't over. You could be extra giving if you know what i mean believe me he'll appreciate it allot.

star-pants

The thought that counts isn't 'blah blah' - honestly if you get someone something meaningful / something that shows you know them/spent time picking something out, it could be worth €5 for all they care.
It's not about the price tag, should never be about that.
If I spent lots on someone and they didn't spend lots on me, I wouldn't care. If they got something that they should know I don't like or something like that then I'd be a bit hurt.

If he was happy with what you bought him then it doesn't matter, honestly. I understand what you're saying, but you shouldn't feel you have to spend as much as the other person. It might have just been wasted money trying to match up.
If he has that kind of money to spend on presents then let him if he wishes. Don't feel bad if you can't/don't spend the same amount.

AnonMous

It doesn't matter in the slightest how much you spent on him, or how much he spent on you.

What matters is how much ye mean to each other. In my opinion, there is no need to feel bad. At the end of the day, material objects don't matter that much so just forget about it and enjoy each others company.

Merry Christmas :-)

If someone spend a grand on me, I'd feel in no way obliged to reciprocate. It's a ridiculous amount and like others said, I'd feel quite guilty receiving gifts worth that kind of money. Even 250-300 is a huge amount to spend in my book. Obviously it depends what you do and how much disposable income you have, but if you feel uncomfortable, why not set a limit next year of 100 euro or something?

tinkerbell

It doesn't matter what you both spent - stop focusing on the monetary value of things. Did he like what you got him? If so, then job well done.

LegacyUser

The amount you spend on each other is entirely your business, he spend what he was happy to spend on things he felt you would like. Your not under pressure to spend the same on him.

As for people saying it is too much in the current climate! It's his money that he worked hard for, he pays taxes, he can spend it on whatever and whoever he likes. Live your lfe bh your own rules, not by what society deems to be the norm. If a €5 present or a €5000 present works for you then good for you, it's no ones business or place to comment on it.

tinkerbell

Spendwhatyoulike wrote: »

The amount you spend on each other is entirely your business, he spend what he was happy to spend on things he felt you would like. Your not under pressure to spend the same on him.

As for people saying it is too much in the current climate! It's his money that he worked hard for, he pays taxes, he can spend it on whatever and whoever he likes. Live your lfe bh your own rules, not by what society deems to be the norm. If a €5 present or a €5000 present works for you then good for you, it's no ones business or place to comment on it.

Exactly. It is nobody's business on what people spend and no right to judge someone or tell them that spending X amount is too much. So what if someone wants to spend €1,000 on a present? It's their money. Just because others think that is ridiculous, doesn't mean that they can dictate that to everyone else.

Anyway, I'm sure the OP's boyfriend wasn't expecting the exact amount of money to be spent on him that he spent on the OP. That's the whole idea with present giving - you give a present that you know the other person will like, not just because it has the same monetary value.

Darthhoob

me and the Oh dont buy eachother pressies for christmas, we concentre on the kids. but my Oh bought me donkeykong country returns cos i mentioned i'd like to try it as i played the original as a kid lol. ofc i didn't get him anything :P so i feel bad...even thoguh he doesn't mind he's just grateful he has us and he wanted to spoil me a tiny bit as we dont often get the chance.

ofc now i feel bad i'm going to be buying him a new mobile tomorrow! in future i'd think it'll be easier and less hassle etc to just buy something for eachother in future...set a limit and spend it on eachother....that way there is non of this guilt and overcompesating.

so...in short...i understand why you feel guilty, cos i do...but that doesn't mean to say you should feel guilty....dont do what i am doing and overcompesate though! the amount of money you would need to spend would probably make your BF feel awful that you felt you had to do it....whereas for my OH...it's just a cheapish phone and he needs one anyway :P