Never been so lonely

LegacyUser

Without going into too many details, I am finding the going tough at the moment. My husband is studying overseas and although we're the lucky ones and managing to see eachother on weekends, it's not enough. He's home for Christmas and has so much coursework that he's in his books 16 hours a day. I barely see him. Adding to that, my friends all seem to have moved or are living either hours away or overseas, and my mother has gone a bit cracked in the last year so I can't talk to her because to do so actually makes me so stressed I can barely cope. I feel so alone. I've tried to explain all this to my husband but he really has so much work to do that he just has to put in the time. I am so hurt and angry that he could even go overseas (I am stuck here for various reasons) even though I understand the rationale behind it. I am snapping at him whenever he appears out of the study. Having bad dreams and feeling terrible. Can't stop crying.

Timmythedonkey

You poor thing!!! If you can't stop crying & having bad dream's ect. then you need to go see the Doctor as you could be suffering with depression.

I understand your husband is busy but surely he could make time for you - have you told him bluntly how your feeling???

Take care of yourself!!!

common sense brigade

you poor thing. look it sounds like your suffering with stress and this is prob causing the bad dreams. Everything is building up on top of you, you need to try and relax yourself . Could you show your husband your actual post that you wrote here? It might get through to him. Im in similar situation , my mam has a drink problem and i actiually feel drained when i have to deal with her even though i love her. shes not a support im always supporting her. And i live in in a different county from my friends and family, as my husband and I moved for work reasons. I can get lonely too. Look PM if you ever need a chat /Friend etc.
You could have a touch of depression, we need friends in our lives to keep our mental health good. Are you working, getting out and about?

LegacyUser

Hi I'm in the same situation sort of. I moved abroad with my other half so we could be together and he was moved to the other side of the country on me, so i'm on my own here.
to get me through it i mind myself and it doesn't have to be expensive. a bottle of wine, candles and a bubble bath. a dvd that i love etc. i try every week to do something different. etc. i joined a club (didn't really work but i'll find one that does), remember you can make you happy....

just remind yourself that he is doing this for both of you.

this might sound harsh but it works. when you do get to see each other hide the anger and smile. he'll relax and you'll be laughing like old times reminding you why you going through this.

and he is studying to get a better job to mind you both. believe this and work on it. it won't be forever and keep repeating this "it will be ok"...

just try and get through this and your not depressed just lonely and sad.. that is normal for what you are going through. and don't be afraid to ring your friends who moved, they will always listen. just be strong and it's not forever it will get better.

LegacyUser

This is going to sound harsh but it's not meant to OP. Lucky you. You have a partner. Sure you don't get to see him as often as you like but he's still in your life. I'm sure you get to chat on the phone etc when he's not with you.

There are many of us who have no one in their lives. They don't live in the same country as their families, are single and like you, their friends are paired off.

Count your blessings you have someone to share Christmas morning with. Be thankful for what you have and think about what it would be like if you had no one like many people do.

Just saying, I know it's hard to be separated but still, you do have someone important in your live to share all the big occassions with, all your stress with, and happy times. You're lucky.

Zen65

Feeling desperate wrote: »

I am so hurt and angry that he could even go overseas (I am stuck here for various reasons) even though I understand the rationale behind it.

Did the two of you discuss his going overseas before he went? Did you agree to him going?

If you did you need to re-evaluate your anger towards him.

If you didn't, you need to ask yourself whether you really want him to give up this course to be with you? Is he doing this for promotion opportunities at work?

In the longer term, will the two of you get to share more time together?

Be at peace,

Z