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Am I wrong to be annoyed? (Housemate issue)

  • 21-12-2010 2:32pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Not a major problem, but just looking for some perspective on this. I'm living in a house with 5 others, I'm the only Irish person and the rest are of different nationalities.

    We all moved in together a few months ago and things were fine. One of my housemates however after a few weeks I realised would only talk to me if she wanted something, or else if she wanted to complain. For example I would get up for work in the morning and she told me to be quieter because she kept waking up because I was so loud. To be honest I was surprised since I was always very conscious about being quiet beforehand. Then that day she made such a big deal of it in front of my other housemates because apparently I was banging doors in the morning, although I confronted her in saying that I didn't even close the doors in the morning, so it couldn't have been me.
    Then over a few weeks it turned into little things over "is that you who used this pan because there's a bit stuck to it", etc.

    Then a few weeks later one of the girls announced that she was leaving, thus allowing a room to be free. one of my friends who's Irish was interested in taking it and said it to me. Then after a few days she started off "when were you going to tell us?" and a few days after that "I would like to have another more international student in the house". To add to this, 2 of my friends called over one night before we were going to go out and we were watching television and the same girl and my other housemate started talking in a different language saying "who are they? why are they here?" laughing about the show we were watching on television, etc. Of course they didn't realise that my friend spoke the same language too and filled me in on it all afterwards.

    Then to add to this, two of my other housemates (another 2 girls) with boyfriends are having sex with one of the guys in the house. I know it's not any of my business but it certainly doesn't make it comfortable to live there,and one night I told him just to be careful for himself.

    A few nights ago I went out with them and everybody was drunk, I was talking to a girl and it was literally just talking and this same guy accused me of cockblocking him, even though he kissed the girl that night and all! This lead onto him saying that my character when I'm drunk isn't nice (accused me basically of having an alcohol problem) and that I was responsible for the fact that he was attacked a few weeks prior, when all I did was ask a drunk guy who was staggering and strugging to stand if he was ok. As well, the fact that he was sleeping with the 2 girls in my house and that they had boyfriends was none of my business (and like I said earlier, I know it's none of my business) and that soon I would realise that I was in the wrong. I walked off and I haven't spoken to him since.

    His attempt at making peace was "c'mon, I was just trying to tell you something and it turned into an argument". I replied "OK" and have continued to ignore him.

    Am I wrong to be annoyed?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    ...also forgot to add he was píssed off over the fact that I apparently "did the same" a few weeks ago when he was still going out with his then girlfriend and tried it on with another girl and I talked to him beforehand asking if he was sure he wanted to do it because he would regret it.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 304 ✭✭smares


    move out is probably the best thing to do if your not happy


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭astra2000


    Hi I would second moving out you are having problems with more than one of them it cant be much fun living there.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    It doesn't matter either who's right or who's wrong - you don't sound like you like your housemates very much and vice versa. Life's too short - move out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,049 ✭✭✭discus


    annoyed :( wrote: »
    ...also forgot to add he was píssed off over the fact that I apparently "did the same" a few weeks ago when he was still going out with his then girlfriend and tried it on with another girl and I talked to him beforehand asking if he was sure he wanted to do it because he would regret it.

    All a bit touchy-feely on your part. He doesn't give a **** about his girlfriend, so you nagging him wont change that. And you warned him to be careful with the 2 housemates after the above incident too... A lot of nagging coming from you.

    Not that I condone his actions/


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    It's kind of weird if you're not getting on with any of your housemates. That might more indicative of a problem with you rather than a problem with them.

    Either way, is moving out an option for you? There's little point in staying somewhere where you don't feel comfortable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,065 ✭✭✭Pique


    Housemates are housemates.
    Friends are friends.

    Never confuse the two.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Move out.

    Life's too short to live with people you don't like/don't like you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Sounds like a nightmare.

    All those people in the one house and two girls sleeping with the one guy? Plus you're all out socialising together and he's losing the rag that you are moving in on his territory? Who the hell is this guy?

    Anyway, as someone who has lived in many many houseshares my advice is this - don't get too tangled up in housemates lives as it is impossible to then separate. If you find you're not comfortable just live somewhere else.

    It is just not worth it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies, unfortunately I have a deposit which I won't get back if I move out and I can't afford it at the moment.
    Furthermore I was the one who found the house in the first place, Pique, what you have said is very valid and this is the attitude which I'm going to have for the remainder of my time there.

    Dudara, I get on fine will half of them, and within all of this I can sense that they don't get on with each other-I probably don't even know half of what's going on in the house.

    Discus, we had a row after I told him to "be careful" with one of the housemates, and then I added that it wasn't any of my business. He started banging the 2nd one a few nights after.

    Anyway I'm just going to distance myself from them, if things carry on the way they do I'm sure it'll all blow up between them in a few weeks/months, not my problem,I have a degree to get, not several STIs :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    Just don't talk to them at all unless you absolutely have to. They're your housemates, not your friends.


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