24 - Too young for love?

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Just a quick question,

I recently met a very interesting, smart and funny guy on a night out and we got along great. We've been seeing each other most weekends over the past few weeks and I really like this guy.

Last Saturday however he told me his age - 24! My jaw almost hit the floor. I'm 30 years old. He looks much older and is very mature so it never even occured to me to ask his age.
Now I'm just worried that he is way too young for love and that we are at different stages in our life.

At his age he'll most likely want to play the field and not settle down and to be honest, that's what I feel he should be doing. I'm just gone 30 but I'm looking for a man and I think 24 is a bit boyish even though he acts/seems much older.

So I'm not gonna see him again now I don't think. Am I being stupid? Is 24 versus 30 too young?
Is it even possible to know what love is at 24? I think it's way too young to fall in love/settle down.

And before anyone says....why don't you just have fun etc. I don't want to just have fun.
I'm 30 and have been single for ages. I'm sick of having 'fun' and yime is not on my side:(

Thanks

neveah

If you are looking for something serious and long term then I think you would be definitely taking a chance on this guy. 24 year olds are at completely different stages of their lives than 30 year olds.
I have friends who are 30 who are going out with 27 year old fellas and I see a difference even at that, for example the women wanting to move in together and settle down, the fella not so eager.

But the thing with life OP is that you never know. This guy could be absolutely perfect for you. It's up to you whether you want to take the chance and risk something developing. I do think you'd be taking a chance though. Maybe have a conversation with him about what he's looking for, you never know he might want the same things as you.

fungun

Suss him out first. Depends on all where he is in life and what kind of person he is. He might feel he is out of college and now wants a reln, who knows?
Id never reject on age, Id reject based on maturity what he is wanting out of life for next few years.

LegacyUser

Thanks Neveah

It's so frustrating cause he's a lovely guy and is well educated, well travelled etc but I can't shake the fact he's so young.

He looks about 27/28 and acts the same but.....bah....very frustrating indeed!

Also, to make matters worse, I'm just gone 30 (3 weeks ago) and am so used to saying 29 when people ask my age that I said 29 when he asked me on Saturday. Disaster!!

prinz

oldyoungold wrote: »

Is it even possible to know what love is at 24? I think it's way too young to fall in love/settle down.

There is no age, only levels of maturity for this tbh.

Chicago Chick

To be honest it doesn't really depend on the age but on the guy himself. My friend got married a couple of months ago to a girl he has been with for 6 years. They are now expecting their first child and are extremely happy. He is 30 and she is 36 so he was 24 and she was 30 when they first meet funnily enough. I would talk to the guy about this if he is interest in a relationship why not give it ago.


In relation to him being too young to know what love is, why would you think this? I am 30 now and with my husband 10 years, I definitely knew at 24 I loved him even if I was 27 when we got married.

LegacyUser

Chicago Chick wrote: »

To be honest it doesn't really depend on the age but on the guy himself. My friend got married a couple of months ago to a girl he has been with for 6 years. They are now expecting their first child and are extremely happy. He is 30 and she is 36 so he was 24 and she was 30 when they first meet funnily enough. I would talk to the guy about this if he is interest in a relationship why not give it ago.


In relation to him being too young to know what love is, why would you think this? I am 30 now and with my husband 10 years, I definitely knew at 24 I loved him even if I was 27 when we got married.

Thanks Chigaco, that's quite encouraging.

He is well travelled and mature for his age but I just think guys at that age are mostly not looking to settle down/be in a relationship. He is most likely looking for fun and nothing serious.

Maybe I could just keep seeing him and having fun whilst still holding out for an older guy but I'm worried that I'll fall for him. I really like him and he's ridiculously confident for a 24 year old but i think that's because he's incredibly hot!

ziedth

Hi OP,

I'm 26 and got married las October so I think you know that painting all men in their mid 20's with the same brush is a little stupid.

IMHO if all these answers are yes then 70 odd months apart in age shouldn't be any issue to give it a fair go:

Do you like him? Does he seem decent? Does he like you?

It's as easy as that, true I'd maybe suss out a couple of things that he might want to do that might not agree with ya such as travel but after that give it a whirl.

Good luck.

cherrycool

Of course twenty-four is not too young for love! How old must you be, then? I'm twenty-two, have been with my boyfriend for three years, and I'm completely in love with him. I think its a bit ridiculous that you'd think a fully grown man in his mid twenties isn't 'old enough' to be in love.

Six years isn't a huge gap. If he's interested in a solid relationship, go for it, never mind a few years.

common sense brigade

It's so frustrating cause he's a lovely guy and is well educated, well travelled etc

if this is true sit down and tell him whats going on in your head, credit his intelligance and trust that he will give you an honest answer as to what stage he feels like he is at in life. my mother in law is 7 years younger than her Husband. So sometimes it can indeed work out. My husband married me when he as 25 and i was 26. we are 30 now but we were young to get married by todays standards. i would have married him had he been younger. anyway good luck!

LegacyUser

I'm 34 and my boyfriend is 24. We are together 2.5 years, living together 2 of those and are very much in love with each other. Age is just a number.

jimmycrackcorm

cherrycool wrote: »

Of course twenty-four is not too young for love! How old must you be, then? I'm twenty-two, have been with my boyfriend for three years, and I'm completely in love with him. I think its a bit ridiculous that you'd think a fully grown man in his mid twenties isn't 'old enough' to be in love.

Six years isn't a huge gap. If he's interested in a solid relationship, go for it, never mind a few years.

24 is of course not too young for love. But it is for permanent love where guys are concerned as a general rule. There are exceptions but just remember that 24 is as close to 18 as it is to 30.

BKtje

I met my now ex at the age of 25 (just turned it) and was ready to settle down, get married and have kids. It really depends on the guy.

Well, just to give another point of view, most people (girls and guys) I went to school with were married or at least engaged by 24. I don't think it's particularly young at all and I don't think 24 year olds and 30 year olds are necessarily in different stages of life. I'm 25 and many of my good friends are well into their thirties. Some are as young as 19 or 20. I know it sounds tacky but age is just a number. Maturity is what matters.

ziedth

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

24 is of course not too young for love. But it is for permanent love where guys are concerned as a general rule. There are exceptions but just remember that 24 is as close to 18 as it is to 30.

That is insane IMHO,

My closest guy friends are all mid 20's (there are 8 of us) and 6 are in very long term relationships.

As for 24 is as close to 18 then 30. Even though you are of course strictly correct and I see your it's not really accurate. Think about it. Somebody who is 22 is much more like a 27 year old then a 16 year old.

LegacyUser

I knew guys in their early 20's and all they wanted was to get into a long term relationship... and if and when it ended they'd get straight into another. Us lads don't all want to 'play the feild' you know!

I think I was 24 / 25 before I was ready to allow myself into something a bit more long term and I reckon this is about average for a guy but that's just my own opinion.

I would offer you this advise: DO NOT let age put you off. If I had done so, I woudlnt have my lovely lady who is 7 years my junior (mer her two years ago - madly in love now), HOWEVER I would be wary of the fact that he's just trying to 'tap an older lady for the CV'.

So basically I say proceed, but with caution. Good luck!

silverspoon

Hmm, I think it's silly to 'standardise' all men/women according to age. I'm 23 but I'm not on the same 'rung' of maturity as every other 23 year old. This man is 24; that doesn't necessarily imply anything as to his maturity or his attitude about relationships in general, or the prospect of one with you OP.
I would definitely not consider the dynamic to be age-wise unsuitable; relationships make their own rules. This doesn't depend on his being 24; it depends on the man himself, and how compatible you are, and how serious both of you are about a relationship. I certainly don't think that because he's 24 he won't be interested in settling down.

Best of luck OP and hopefully all will work out!!!

Just remember 30 is as close to 60 as it is to being born! :P

Darthhoob

prinz wrote: »

There is no age, only levels of maturity for this tbh.

i agree. yes alot of men dont tend to want to settle down till 25-30 but that doesn;t mean you should write him off. how are you going to tell who is mr right if you dismiss them so easily? you say you dont want a bit of fun...thats fine that you want a relationship but relationhips are not usually sudden. it takes time to get to know one another, get used to eachother, understand where your relationship is going....you not going to give him the chance to even prove if he is relationship material? you obviously like him...it's just the age.

my Oh is 10 years older than me...i was 21 when i met him. yes i know i am a female lol...but i wanted a relationship and so did he...he had problems finding a woman who wanted that and kept finding women who only wanted fun so it's by no means a male only trait. we both took a chance with eachother (i had been hurt alot before him) and we just took each day as it came..by 6 months we knew we wanted to spend rest of our lives together...i would recommend that as my advice

age really is just a number, it's the person that matters...and you can't know a person enough to poo poo a relationship (if you like them that is) without giving it a go...there is no rush x

hightower1

youngoldyoung wrote: »

Maybe I could just keep seeing him and having fun whilst still holding out for an older guy

If this is really how you think then let this guy go and live his life, your no good for him. How would you like it if he was saying to his mates "She's sooooo old? Maybe I will date her for a while for fun and when something younger comes along I will leave her then"... Thats exactly what you suggest you want to do here but in reverse. He's better off without you imo.