How to Lie like a Lenihan

jetsonx

How to Lie like a Lenihan


Even if it’s a howler of a lie – you must deliver it with great gravitas and solemnity. That way people will believe you more.

Feign shock and indigence at the interviewer’s question – pull a face of utter shock that the interviewer had the audacity to ask such a ridiculous question in the first place.

Be sure to make grandiose promises, like you were on the side of the people and not the banks. Say you will “go to the ends-of-the-earth” to get bankers loans repaid and then just hope the idiots that are the Irish people will forget about it. Even though you don’t have a “strategy for growth” drop this term into every interview you do, it just sounds optimistic and good.


Use third parties as references to back up your actions and plans. (But as no credible third parties have actually supported your ideas and plans in the first place) you have to quote them selectively and then kind of contort and twist the facts as to make it seem like they support you.


If really stuck, bring on one of the faceless mandarins from the Department of Finance to quote some facts and figures. But, in hindsight, the last time a mandarin that was wheeled out, he f~”ked up big time when he could not even be bothered to remember key figures such as interest rates on Irish government loans. Therefore, remember not to wheel out Kevin Cardiff again.


And if really really stuck during and interview blame Lehman Brothers bank for the collapse of the Irish economy. If that does not work just blame Greece and if that does not work just talk about how exports are going up or how government expenditure exceeds government receipts.


Always dodge live television interviews, especially with the likes of Vincent Brown who Rothweiler-with-a-Rabbit like will not let you off easily, unlike the folks over in RTE. Instead, send a back bencher or a junior minister over to Uncle Vinnie and let them get a mauling instead.





Feel free to add you own.

El Weirdo

jetsonx wrote: »

Feel free to add you own.

This is a great idea for a thread.

Donkey Oaty

Lenihans never tell lies - they have mature recollections.

Drag00n79

Stare but never blink

Biggins

Always mix fact with fiction - even if its totally irrelevant to the subject!
The listener might think you must be right even though they can't make out the connection because "...its a complicated issue!".

Son Of A Vidic

"I was acting upon the best information available to me at the time". - otherwise known as a gormless twit!

Guill

Best thread ever, i really believe this! Even my Gf thinks so, she told me.

peasant

You credit Lenihan with far too much intelligence and guile.

The poor chap never lies ....
























...he simply doesn't know any better

bonerm

Dye your hair. Then you're lying before you even open your mouth.

ChopShop

I've long since thought he met the stereotype of a Barrister: Patronising.

I particularly enjoyed the morning Gormless rang Cowen at the radio station to tell him they were throwing the toys form the cot.

They pounced on Lenihan, and there was none of the eloquence, he was tongue tied then glib. To me, it exposed him as rehearsed.

Ali Babba

They alway make the biggest scam look like they're doing you a favour........remember Mary on about "working like a blackman"? and then trying to defend herself when the sh!t hit the fan.............typical "Lenihan" ignorance, how they've got so far in life is a mystery to me, brute force and ignorance is the order of their day. Take a look at this for a good laugh......:pac:www.rate-your-solicitor.com/index.php?section=details&id=15541

Nolanger

A law degree will help.

Ali Babba

Nolanger wrote: »

A law degree will help.

It mustn't have been hard to get or maybe you don't need a moral conscience.....

Wertz

If all else fails roll out auntie Mary to convince the pensioners you know what you're at...

galwayrush

Plenty of very black die for the hair...

scientific1982

Brian Lenihan told me that he doesnt accept the premise of your thread OP.

chucken1

Is this going to be a new saying? "He lies like a Lenihan"

gizmo

Ali Babba wrote: »

It mustn't have been hard to get or maybe you don't need a moral conscience.....

For a law degree? :pac:

scientific1982

Theres only one reason people that people choose to do a law degree.

Scuid Mhór

lenihan's a good guy. out of anyone to attack for the mess we're in, this was a bad choice.

bonerm

Like father like son I suppose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLoDg_vwo8c&t=0m34s

Latchy

Lie ? ....now whoever heard of a politician telling the truth ?

starbelgrade

Did he lie about the cancer thing too... you know, to get the sympathy vote?

bonerm

starbelgrade wrote: »

Did he lie about the cancer thing too... you know, to get the sympathy vote?

Nah I think he just got lucky with that one.

galwayrush

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

lenihan's a good guy. out of anyone to attack for the mess we're in, this was a bad choice.

Perfectly reasonable choice considering his position for the past few years and his ever changing stance . Surprised his nose has not grown by a few feet at this stage.

tippspur

scientific1982 wrote: »

Brian Lenihan told me that he doesnt accept the premise of your thread OP.

I don't accept that at all.

squod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHTNTptUEe8

setting a precedent, priceless.

EverEvolving

Ahh, you can't beat a good aul Lenihan Lie.

It does have a ring to it.

charlemont

Great thread, I done my duty as a 12 year old in 1990, when i defaced lots of Lenihan's presidential posters by writing "LIES", "THE BIG LIE", with a thick black marker...

starbelgrade

charlemont wrote: »

Great thread, I done my duty as a 12 year old in 1990, when i defaced lots of Lenihan's presidential posters by writing "LIES", "THE BIG LIE", with a thick black marker...

He didn't run for election until 1996 when his father died.

I think you might be referring to Brian Senior's presidential campaign.

charlemont

starbelgrade wrote: »

He didn't run for election until 1996 when his father died.

I think you might be referring to Brian Senior's presidential campaign.

yes thats what im referring to....

Bryan4president

squod wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHTNTptUEe8

Worst thing about this is I wouldn't be surprised at all, if it were to be true.

strokemyclover

I think when you decide to become a politician the truth has to become subjective. Just be thankful of your conscience - it's a valuable weapon for fighting the urge to run for public office.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! I like sleeping at night

CorkMan

Throw in ornate words and plenty of complex metaphors.

"Our economy shall rise again, we will not be benesth for that long. The pathway to freedom is in front of us, we just need need to ride the raucous waves that are in our view and have steel determination. A sea of trouble shall never topple us over."

jetsonx

CorkMan wrote: »

Throw in ornate words and plenty of complex metaphors.

Yes, these are a favorite of his. Especially metaphors about which involve
corners.