Going to a counsellor

LegacyUser

I'm thinking about going to see a counsellor and I was wondering do you have to get referred to one by your GP or can you contact one direct?

I don't even know if I need to see a counsellor but I want to try and help myself. I'm in my late 20's and I just feel a bit lost at the moment in my life and it's getting me down. I came out of a long term relationship a year ago and I'm still not over the whole experience. My self esteem and confidence are very very low. My ex is now in a serious relationship with someone else and it's so upsetting. I know my life isn't all that bad and I feel that I really should have moved on by now, I've made so much effort to get on with my life but I still feel so down about my ex and the way he treated me. So much so that the thought of a long term relationship with anyone else scares the hell out of me and I don't give guys a chance. I don't think I'll ever find someone who I loved as much as my ex and I just can't put myself through this heartache again. I take rejection very badly, I really put myself down.
On top of all this I'm fighting with family members because I have become so moody. I'm thinking of moving out but I'm a little apprehensive about that too. I'm also not fully satisfied by my job. Basically I'm in limbo and at a crossroads. It all sounds a bit trivial so I'm just wondering has anybody in a similar situation gone to a counsellor and found it helpful? Or do people have any other advice from their own experiences? Maybe I just need to keep going the way I am and time will heal all, it's just that time has passed and while I do feel better than I did a year ago, I think I should be at the point where I don't care about my ex anymore. Every time I think about him though I'm full of bitterness and anger and I'm so sad and upset by it all. My friends have been fantastic but they must be so sick of listening to me now! It's just been a year so full of ups and downs that sometimes I feel lost at sea. Today I'm feeling down but tomorrow something might happen and my mood could soar, then something else might happen and I'll fall to rock bottom and feel depressed about my life again. It's so confusing and I'm so annoyed with myself for feeling the way I do!

Corkblowin

Hi OP, Its a tough time and I know exactly what its like.....just stick with it and you'll be ok.

I went to a counsellor when my marriage ended, and it was the best thing I ever did (and still go once a month now). It helps to talk to someone totally impartial who will listen, prompt and get you to see things from another perspective. You may not get all the answers you are looking for, but you will feel like you're on the right road. I'd be surprised if you ever get to the point where you 'don't care' about your ex (you nearly always still have feelings for people you loved) - but you will be more at ease with yourself.

What I would say is find a counsellor that you feel comfortable and at ease with, I stuck with the 3rd one I went to - couldn't criticize the first two, but just wasn't right. I got mine in the Golden pages, just make sure they are members of a professional institute.

In summary - go meet a counsellor, you've nothing to lose, and in my experience it helps greatly. Good luck!

jazu

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who_ru

some wise words there jazu - facebook is tyranny.

Ickle Magoo

jazu and who_ru infracted.

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Ickle

Princess Peach

Counselling can be hard, but just think what have you got to lose from trying it? I went to one counselor, hated the whole thing and swore it off completely. But my doctor was very insistent that I give it another go. I did and it worked out really well for me. Nice to have someone to talk to without being afraid that they will judge you, like friends would if you get me. And I got some great advice on how to deal with my issues.

You can get a referral from your GP. I went to my college counselor, because there was a shorter waiting list for the free counselling services. But I'm finished college now and my doctor said if I want more counselling she will sort it out for me, so if your not in college start with your GP.

johnboysligo

unreg345 wrote: »

It all sounds a bit trivial

You wouldn't make a post if it was trivial or even consider seeking help if it was trivial.

unreg345 wrote: »

My friends have been fantastic but they must be so sick of listening to me now!

Sounds like you have a few good friends lucky you

Corkblowin said it best you have nothing to lose, go see a counselor with a little bit of luck you will feel better.

Congrats for seeing that there is a problem. Admitting this and considering even going to see a counselor shows how much strength a person has.