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am i over reacting to little things?

  • 12-12-2010 9:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi
    I suppose im writing this becuase recently I've read so many housemate threads, where someone wonders should they make a move.

    I have the opposite problem, I live with a male housemate, who I was friends with before he moved in. we have known each other about 3 yrs in total, he only recently moved in to the house i live in. I have lived in this house for nearly 2yrs and im quite happy living here.

    He is very intense, and literally jumps down the stairs when i come in from work. he was drunk last week and flashed himself at me,he insists by mistake, that he didnt tie his dressing gown properly!

    Im feeling very uncomfortable with it all, I caught him in my room the other day too, not doing anything, just kinda standing i the doorway. I had my door firmly closed before.

    i like my privacy, and dont want visitors in my room for "chats", plus I would like to catch my breath when im in the door after work, before Im offered tea/coffee/dinner. He always is offering to cook for me, make me tea etc. Im very capable of looking after myself and this added to the constant questions are starting to annoy me.

    Im starting to feel very claustrapobic (spelt all wrong! ) in his company in the house, and paranoid, that i doing something to make him behave like this.

    its not just one major thing but combinations of little things thats making me uncomfortable. I mean in the mornings he happens to be out on the landing when i get out of shower etc. one or two of these instances i would understand, but its been like this for nearly two months now.

    he stand very close to me when he is talking, and when im making dinner, he leans against my cupboard, so every time i want to get something out of it, have to ask him to move, and he only moves a tiny bit over, so I have to kinda go round him to get to my cupboard.

    as I said, all these things on there own are nothing really.

    How should I deflect his attention? or get round this issue?

    I have tried to drop a few hints, that i like my privacy etc, but its not working. maybe im over reacting, please help!


Comments

  • #2
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    I don't think your over reacting OP. That stuff you describe would do my head in. Ive been in a mildly similar situation myself and no amount of discussing it made a difference to my situation. Perhaps your friend would be more open to a discussion about it as opposed to dropping hints.


  • #3
    astra2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭astra2000


    Hi op are you male or female? Do you think your housemate is hitting on you? Is there anyone else living in the house if so have they mentioned anything?
    You need to feel comfortable in your own home and if talking with him doesnt work then you should probably move out, tbh it doesnt sound like house sharing with good friends suits you as you like your privacy, maybe you should look at renting a small flat or moving in with less clingy people.


  • #4
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    He's fancies you OP.
    You're going to have to tell him the arrangement isn't working and he's going to have to move out.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks for all the replies

    I'm female, and there is one other female living in the house at present.

    I did think to myself that he fancied me, but didnt want to assume this, as It would be rather arrogant, when he hasnt actually stated it!

    the other female housemate has commented to me, that he seems very intense with me, and she agrees with me, that I shouldnt feel uncomfortable in my home!

    She doesnt get the same treatment, (ie he nevers knocks on her bedroom door for a chat etc) and to be honest find him a bit leery in his behavour to me.


    I feel i cant exactly tell him to back off, when he hasnt actually stated that he wants anything off me, if i knew for certain or there was a situation where he broached the subject of maybe fancying me, I would take direct action and tell him its a no go, but when he hasnt stated, I cant just assume it and tell him to back off.

    I do accept maybe im at a age where a place on my own might be a option, but I have lived in this house for 2 yrs, and never experienced this feeling of being crowded out, when i moved in there was 5 people in the house, and we nevered had to stand on top of each other! the house is quite big too, so there is absolutely no need for me to feel like this i dont think.

    I dont fancy him at all, I have no interest romantically at all in him.


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