What is wrong with people?

LegacyUser · 10-12-2010 11:33am #1

Hey everyone, I'm having a bit of a problem involving myself, others, and relationships. What's really getting to me is how inconsiderate it seems my social circle is regarding relationships.
I've always been pretty touchy with these things, but I'm hyper sensitive since my ex of 6 years cheated on me. I got over that, but the way I see others in relationships eats away, upsets and angers me. I have a lot of friends who have cheated on their boy/girlfriends, some of which are serious long term relationships. I hate to see it happening in front of me, and it kills me I can't do anything.
What I would have given for someone to have told me when my ex did it to me. One of my closest friends cheated on their partner, who I have all the time in the world for, with another friend who also has a partner last week. I see my close friend almost daily, and to be honest have been avoiding her lately because of this. I don't know how to act around her at all. I can't pretend it doesn't bother me, and I can't give out to her because it's not any of my business.
How can I stop thinking about this!!? And how can I act normal with her!? I mean, if I feel this **** about it, imagine how their respective partners would feel!!
Why can't people value relationships, and if they want to get with someone else, become single first out of respect. I'd kill for another happy relationship and here people are throwing them away for a stupid fling.

LegacyUser · 10-12-2010 12:27pm

sadface:( wrote: »

I'd kill for another happy relationship and here people are throwing them away for a stupid fling.

I know how you feel OP.

Used to have a good mate who pulled this stuff all the time, it was ok when we were teenagers, but got old fast in latter years (asides from other stuff he/she pulled).

First thing though is that, you are right in saying it is none of your business, but the solution to these problems is the following adge, "the only person you can control is yourself".

You are still hurting from your break up and i think this maybe affecting how you feel about others behaviour around you. Still, at the same time you may need to ask yourself, do you need to find different company for a little while?

Thats all you can do to help your situation, you cannot control your friends and trying to do so will only end up in a messy situation. What you can do is give yourself a break from your mates and their antics (join a club or sport or volunteer).

Hope you feel better OP, and remember "the only person you can change and control is yourself"

ManOfMystery · 10-12-2010 12:46pm

Unfortunately that's the way of the world.

I hate that children get abused; that people are starving; that there are those out there who would steal, rape and murder; that there are frauds and cheats; that there are terrorists who would blow us all to bits ................................... and countless other things. But life is life, unfortunately there are always going to be people who don't share the same values/morals as yourself and who will do things which you might not agree with.

Just get on with your own life and try and be the best person you can. If you don't like what 'friends' do, then stop surrounding yourself with them, or else learn to put up with it - you can't expect everyone to change or adopt your values. People are who they are.

astra2000 · 10-12-2010 1:24pm

Hi op I know what you mean and while it is none of your business what your friend does, you should let her know how you feel as it is affecting your friendship with her. I doubt you will be able to forget about this as it is such a big deal to you so if you want to try and remain friends you need to let her know what is bothering you.

Zeouterlimits · 10-12-2010 1:43pm

Be honest with your friends OP, if you can't be honest with them, then they're aren't great friends, if friends at all.
Tell them you have problems with what they've done, encourage them to come clean.

LegacyUser · 10-12-2010 3:38pm

Hey OP, i feel the exact same. There is no worse feeling in the world than finding out someone you care about has been intimate with someone else. It gives you a sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach and it kills all future trust you can have in another relationship. I just found out i have been cheated on recently. Obviously the relationship is over but i feel physically sick just thinking about the betrayal of my trust.

If someone doesn't want something bad done to them, why would they do it to someone else!

What is wrong with people?

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