Safety on icy pavements

Svetti Arss

Having now slipped and fallen several times on un-gritted pavements in various parts of the city. I've come up with my own set of golden rules which might but probably won’t help anyone else.

1. When you land immediately look around to make sure that no one seen you fall
2. Stand up as quickly as you can
3. Check that no one seen you stand up
4. Leave the scene as fast as you can while acting as normal and as unhurried as possible
5. Be careful not to slip again
6. Curse
7. If using an ipod check that headphones are still in place
8. Curse
9. Check for injuries
10. Curse
11. Swallow your pride
12. Curse because you didn't check if anything fell from your pockets when you fell and you are now to far away to see and to embarrassed to go back
13. If injured go to A&E but only if you can find which one is on-call otherwise phone (if you didn't drop your phone) an ambulance and wait

I may or may not accept amendments to these rules - I haven't decided yet.

orourkeda

Try not to fall over.

Ice is slippy.

spider guardian

don't keep your hands in your pockets while walking, you'll be better able to break your fall.

but you might still end up on RTE news...

Luap

12. If you come across any black ice and cannot cross, whip out your langer and piss on it to defrosed it.

TheZohanS

Maloney_o9 wrote: »

12. If you come across any black ice and cannot cross, whip out your langer and piss on it to defrosed it.

Racist.

Ghandee

Maloney_o9 wrote: »

12. If you come across any black ice and cannot cross, whip out your langer and piss on it to defrosed it.

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

Nodin

Gucky wrote: »

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

Then you have failed in life.

I-Shot-Jr

Gucky wrote: »

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

Squat.

Luap

Gucky wrote: »

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

Shout at it or something?

foxinsox

Gucky wrote: »

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

squat?

Son Of A Vidic

foxinsox wrote: »

squat?

You stand up? :eek:

bnt

13. If you see a lady fall and help her up: be careful where you put your hands.

Nodin

bnt wrote: »

13. If you see a lady fall and help her up: be careful where you put your hands.

....this is true. The 'bosom haul', though effective, is often unappreciated.

foxinsox

Nodin wrote: »

Then you have failed in life.

in your opinion..

i quite like not having a langer (of my own)

Nodin

foxinsox wrote: »

in your opinion..

i quite like not having a langer (of my own)

This is because you do not own a langer, thus know not what you miss.

KeithM89_old

I just use my jet-pack

foxinsox

Nodin wrote: »

This is because you do not own a langer, thus know not what you miss.

Nah, I said I don't have one of my own..

I didn't day I didn't "own" one..

I have a boyfriend who owns one..

admiralofthefleet

i nearly broke the back end of my bollix last night on the path. the most embarassing thing was the girly whhhhhhhhoooooooooooooo i let out when i slipped

Nodin

foxinsox wrote: »

Nah, I said I don't have one of my own..

I didn't day I didn't "own" one..

I have a boyfriend who owns one..

Thats like something a ....woman.....would say.....

Oh_Noes

For the good (entertainment) of the nation, keep your hands in your pockets at all times. It makes for a much more fulfilling and hilarious incident for those who may be quietly peering out of a car/cafe window at you.

If you must keep your hands out of your pockets, please ensure to flail them wildly immediately prior to your fall.

admiralofthefleet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzIFoYKqASs

gurramok

Maybe I'm a lucky fecker, don't think i've ever fallen on ice in all my 30 odd yrs on this planet. Had zillions of times when I nearly toppled though. Are some people just well balanced more than others? :P

Some12

1) Stand up quickly and raise your hands shouting "Taa daa!!!" like you meant to do that.

6stringmaniac

Wear a pair of socks over your shoes, and you'll be walking like a king.

alwaysadub

Nodin wrote: »

This is because you do not own a langer, thus know not what you miss.

We have boobs.
So :P

easyeason3

6stringmaniac wrote: »

Wear a pair of socks over your shoes, and you'll be walking like a king weirdo.

FYP

Cheap Thrills!

Hiking boots are keeping me upright these days. I feel like the Terminator though!

Earthhorse

I slipped on the ice tonight, fell backwards and rescued myself at the last minute.

In hindsight, I should have stuck one leg up in the air. Woulda looked like I was breakdancing then. :cool:

Taco Corp

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzIFoYKqASs

Was anyone else disappointed when the guy on the bike didn't fall?

Ronin247

Nodin wrote: »

This is because you do not own a langer, thus know not what you miss.

Hmmm

aaronjumper

Wear ice skates and be on time, all the time

Nodin

alwaysadub wrote: »

We have boobs.
So :P

If I didn't know that St Patrick had made sure there was no wimmin on the internet, I'd feel worried.

Scarydoll

6stringmaniac wrote: »

Wear a pair of socks over your shoes, and you'll be walking like a king.

Does this really work?

123balltv

bloody hate icey foopaths left hanging onto railings in my 20's then
someone in their 60's keep fit, hippy 60's chick, fella rolls pass you as fast as fast as lighting :eek::eek:

Captain_Generic

123balltv wrote: »

bloody hate icey foopaths left hanging onto railings in my 20's then
someone in their 60's keep fit, hippy 60's chick, fella rolls pass you as fast as fast as lighting :eek::eek:

What were you smoking while this was going on?

123balltv

Captain_Generic wrote: »

What were you smoking while this was going on?

bacardi seriously ould age grannies walk faster than me on the ice
had sciatica it killed me for months never want it back again have to take easy it on the ice

Scarydoll

123balltv wrote: »

bacardi seriously ould age grannies walk faster than me on the ice
had sciatica it killed me for months never want it back again have to take easy it on the ice

Me too! lol I thought I was the only one. I fell and hurt my back a few times. It hurts like hell and lasts for months. So yea, I take my time walking on the ice.

Rubberlegs

Don't take your big, easily excited German Shepherd pup out for a "stroll" on icy footpaths. (Or you just might end up out on the road on a major roundabout:()

Stinicker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfpmWdyxTx0

Don't walk on icy inclines down in Limerick! Having a backpack can break your fall!

rubadub

Gucky wrote: »

But what if your not equipped with a langer?

I-Shot-Jr wrote: »

Squat.

No need, most women can piss perfectly fine standing up if they wanted to, and I have seen some at it at festivals and down lanes in town. I think something like 85% are perfectly capable, the remaining 15% have such a mess of beef it looks like a pitbull has savaged a butchers shop, just too much too handle.

In some countries its the men who squat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urination

It is also possible for many females to urinate whilst standing. If a female wears a sarong, skirt, or other such open bottomed garments, and either wears no underwear, or moves or removes it, merely spreading the legs may be enough to place the urine stream away from the body and clothes. The urine will generally travel more or less straight down. Some females can also angle their urine away from the body, and any lowered trousers or other garments, in a way similar to that of males. This may be done by spreading the labia minora open and orienting the pelvis at an angle, and rapidly forcing the urine stream out.[13] Reports indicate that it is common that women in the Ivory Coast use this method when they urinate.[14] Some sources seem to indicate that women urinate this way in West Africa in general.[15] Other reports indicate, however, that it seems to be less common for women to urinate standing in West Africa,[16] while it has been reported that it is common that women urinate standing up in the streets in Malawi.[17] In Ghana, signs which forbid public urination often show a picture of a female urinating like this.[18] Laos is a country where it is common for women to urinate standing.[19] There are reports that seem to indicate that in Togo women urinate using this method, while men do it squatting.[20] Herodotus described a similar custom in ancient Egypt.[21] An alternative method for women to urinate standing is to use a tool known as a female urination device to assist.

I-Shot-Jr

rubadub wrote: »

No need, most women can piss perfectly fine standing up if they wanted to, and I have seen some at it at festivals and down lanes in town. I think something like 85% are perfectly capable, the remaining 15% have such a mess of beef it looks like a pitbull has savaged a butchers shop, just too much too handle.

In some countries its the men who squat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urination

I was probably better off not knowing that. But thanks!

Clearpreso

Tried out the socks over shoes things tonight, deffo a bit more grip on the worst stuff. I would prefer looking like an idiot than falling over all the time tbh.

Thrill

Having just read this.......

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Middle-East-Drought-Brings-Prayers-For-Rain-From-All-Three-Major-Religions/Article/201012215850028?f=rss

.....I dont feel so bad about the current cold snap.

Svetti Arss

rubadub wrote: »

It is also possible for many females to urinate whilst standing. If a female wears a sarong, skirt, or other such open bottomed garments, and either wears no underwear, or moves or removes it, merely spreading the legs may be enough to place the urine stream away from the body and clothes. The urine will generally travel more or less straight down. Some females can also angle their urine away from the body, and any lowered trousers or other garments, in a way similar to that of males. This may be done by spreading the labia minora open and orienting the pelvis at an angle, and rapidly forcing the urine stream out.[13] Reports indicate that it is common that women in the Ivory Coast use this method when they urinate.[14] Some sources seem to indicate that women urinate this way in West Africa in general.[15] Other reports indicate, however, that it seems to be less common for women to urinate standing in West Africa,[16] while it has been reported that it is common that women urinate standing up in the streets in Malawi.[17] In Ghana, signs which forbid public urination often show a picture of a female urinating like this.[18] Laos is a country where it is common for women to urinate standing.[19] There are reports that seem to indicate that in Togo women urinate using this method, while men do it squatting.[20] Herodotus described a similar custom in ancient Egypt.[21] An alternative method for women to urinate standing is to use a tool known as a female urination device to assist.

I think you made a typo surely you meant "Laois is a county" in the above quote.

Fighting Irish

Svetti Arss wrote: »

Having now slipped and fallen several times on un-gritted pavements in various parts of the city. I've come up with my own set of golden rules which might but probably won’t help anyone else.

1. When you land immediately look around to make sure that no one seen you fall
2. Stand up as quickly as you can
3. Check that no one seen you stand up
4. Leave the scene as fast as you can while acting as normal and as unhurried as possible
5. Be careful not to slip again
6. Curse
7. If using an ipod check that headphones are still in place
8. Curse
9. Check for injuries
10. Curse
11. Swallow your pride
12. Curse because you didn't check if anything fell from your pockets when you fell and you are now to far away to see and to embarrassed to go back
13. If injured go to A&E but only if you can find which one is on-call otherwise phone (if you didn't drop your phone) an ambulance and wait

I may or may not accept amendments to these rules - I haven't decided yet.

Stop trying to be funny

Duggy747

Fart on the ice to melt it.

I normally stick to the edge of the road beside the curb of the path since that's usually fine around my direction.

Also, watch the person's pattern in front of you. Watching them nearly slip provides a good heads-up.

Svetti Arss

Fighting Irish wrote: »

Stop trying to be funny

I will if you promise to stop talking ****e,

**Timbuk2**

Svetti Arss wrote: »

Fighting Irish wrote:

Stop trying to be funny

I will if you promise to stop talking ****e,

I still can't stop laughing at your username :P