What are some good excuses for not going to work?

Nodferatu

i need a good excuse

M.J.M.C

Seriously, say you keep having "the runs"
In my experience that leads to pretty much zero questions from your boss and its believable

Bottle_of_Smoke

Lie face down on the floor and speak normally when you're calling in - it distorts your voice but sounds consistant.

This time of year "I've been awake all night with a cough and feeling terrible" works well. I used it genuinely last week.

blackbird98

how about "couldn't be bothered, give my job to somebody else"?

Mackman

M.J.M.C wrote: »

Seriously, say you keep having "the runs"
In my experience that leads to pretty much zero questions from your boss and its believable

+1, stomach problems all the way. They wont ask questions and there's no visible symptoms

Paully D

M.J.M.C wrote: »

Seriously, say you keep having "the runs"
In my experience that leads to pretty much zero questions from your boss and its believable

Agreed. That always works.

drunkmonkey

think my drink was spiked and there's little green men in the bushes, hoping it will pass but just can't make it in as it's all gone a little mad upstairs.
Hope it passes quickly and i'll be back to normal tomorrow and be in bright and early.

Giselle

Say you're running a high temperature, theres no arguing with a high temperature.;)

Gillo

If you've got kids, say that they are sick and you can't leave them to the creche, works a treat as you don't have to be "sick" yourself.

seanmacc

Winter Vomiting Bug. It's highly contagious and leaves you still infectious 24hrs after the symptoms disappear so it gets you 2 Days off. So you won't be wanted back for fear of infecting the rest of the workplace.

Symptoms include Vomiting, lightheadedness, loose stool and lethargy. There is no treatment, vaccination or cure.

Its not pleasant if you do get it in fairness.

Eve_Dublin

Death in the family but not your immediate family and ideally someone whose dead already so as not to jinx them. The cowardly way out but worked for me in the past. That or the runs.

metrovelvet

Head lice.
Stomach bug.

juliarlan

give resign form job and enjoy ha ha

DazMarz

"My entire family was killed in a plane crash and I was horribly maimed in the same crash and I am now a vegetable......... I'll see you tomorrow!"

uch

DazMarz wrote: »

"My entire family was killed in a plane crash and I was horribly maimed in the same crash and I am now a vegetable......... I'll see you tomorrow!"

What he says, at least make up some sh1te thats so ridiculous that they'll think it has to be true

common sense brigade

The best one i ever heard was a friend of mine. He rang into his job (In a barbers) and said that he looked up at the sky and the Sun was very strong and he blinded Himself so he had to make his way back home and let his eyesight recover.

Nodferatu

LOL

t0mm13b

There's a horse outside kickin the door and flinging sh!t right outside me door....



Fúck the NCT and the insurance....

Emme

Why not be honest and say "I'm a lazy fecker, I don't want to come into work today and I have zero work ethic. So let me have today off, and maybe tomorrow and the next day as well, and while you're at it give me my P45 and let somebody who's willing to do a days work have my job!":D

boarduser1980

One of the best i've ever heard:

a guy i used to work with he was forever ringing in sick, i dont know how he didnt get the sack. we strictly had to phone in sick, but this guy Text the boss one morning saying, he couldnt come into work cos he lost his voice. - he got away with it

Ebbs

24 Hour dose of dyslexia.

Never fails.