selfobsessed

selfobsessed

Hi OP, I can totally relate to what you are going through. I am a 21 year old guy and I have being obsessed with my looks and how women see me for the last few years.

I think it stemmed from secondary school where I was bullied for being 'ugly'. Now I never thought I was ugly facial wise but I was extremely then and small and I had a tendancy to annoy people with my loud mouth. Although only a few weeks ago I showed my broher in law a picture of myself in school and he remarked 'God you were an ugly yoke' ! Put it this way I never had anyone call me handsome or pretty in school, and I had NO girlfriends whatsoever back then, nobody was interested.

It was only when I left after the Leaving Cert and went further afield that I started to get remarks from people that I was a good looking guy. I started to get girls come up to me and ask me out, not to mention the stares when out in public, even gay guys come up to me and tell me I am hot! Basically I always get a positive comment about my apearence whenever I go out at weekends or events etc.

However as cool as that may seem, it is not all plain sailing. As I mentioned in the last 3 years I have become OBSESSED with the way I look, and have this major fear that girls won't think I am good looking and won't want to go out with me. Some days are really hard, I just don't want to leave the house because I feel ugly. I feel I have a different look to your typical irish guy, because my eyes are set further apart than usual and I have a flatish nose. Nobody in school ever picked on these features of my appearence expect one girl who remarked in a friendly way 'oh wow your eyes are really far apart' , only one other person has remarked since that, so that was two people in my life lol. I think my eyes get me down the most sometimes as I feel abnormal. I even googled Jacqueline Kennedy because she has the same wide set eyes and there are some negitive comments about how ugly she looks with them, so that only makes things worse. I have even compared my pictures to dozens of friends on facebook to see how they look in comparison to me, and most of the time I actually feel good about myself and that I do have that cute look.

I won't allow anybody to take photograps of me unless it is myself. I seem to be horrified when I look at photos of myself that other people take, and feel much better about them when I take them myself with the webcam when I can get the correct angle on my face. There are days when I imagine I have a receading hairline. Last year I thought I was going bald at the back and the front, when it turned out I wasn't in the slightest. I also thought I had found grey hairs on my hair and was doen for a whole week, I went around to my friends and asked them to check through my hair to see if they found grey, I even asked my local shop keeper to check :eek:

Also if a girl my own age doesn't make eye contact with me in Tesco or on the bus I automatically assume that she thinks I am ugly. I have had a few girls add me on Facebook and they commented on my pictures and told me I was hot and handsome etc but they wren't very attrctive girls so it led nowhere. I did get chatting to an ok looking girl for a while but she just randomly deleted me off facebook one day, so I was down for two whole weeks, didn't even want to get out if the bed, and felt like the ugly guy again. There have being about three girls in the last couple of months who I have met in clubs etc who have just stopped texting me out of the blue for no reason, again I feel it's because of my looks.

But get this, I go through periods where I think I am the best looking guy around. I feel other guys can't even compete with me. I go to the gym regularly and when I am going through my super confidence periods I just laugh to myself at other guys around me. I thank God for our beautiful I turned out and feel sorry for some of the guys who don't have my looks or my fit tall body. I feel I can have any woman I want and it is just a matter of clicking my fingers. I just feel like some big model superstar and everyone else around me is ****.

Can someone just please help me, I really don't understand why I am behaving like this.

Blatter

selfobsessed wrote: »

Hi OP, I can totally relate to what you are going through. I am a 21 year old guy and I have being obsessed with my looks and how women see me for the last few years.

I think it stemmed from secondary school where I was bullied for being 'ugly'. Now I never thought I was ugly facial wise but I was extremely then and small and I had a tendancy to annoy people with my loud mouth. Although only a few weeks ago I showed my broher in law a picture of myself in school and he remarked 'God you were an ugly yoke' ! Put it this way I never had anyone call me handsome or pretty in school, and I had NO girlfriends whatsoever back then, nobody was interested.

It was only when I left after the Leaving Cert and went further afield that I started to get remarks from people that I was a good looking guy. I started to get girls come up to me and ask me out, not to mention the stares when out in public, even gay guys come up to me and tell me I am hot! Basically I always get a positive comment about my apearence whenever I go out at weekends or events etc.

However as cool as that may seem, it is not all plain sailing. As I mentioned in the last 3 years I have become OBSESSED with the way I look, and have this major fear that girls won't think I am good looking and won't want to go out with me. Some days are really hard, I just don't want to leave the house because I feel ugly. I feel I have a different look to your typical irish guy, because my eyes are set further apart than usual and I have a flatish nose. Nobody in school ever picked on these features of my appearence expect one girl who remarked in a friendly way 'oh wow your eyes are really far apart' , only one other person has remarked since that, so that was two people in my life lol. I think my eyes get me down the most sometimes as I feel abnormal. I even googled Jacqueline Kennedy because she has the same wide set eyes and there are some negitive comments about how ugly she looks with them, so that only makes things worse. I have even compared my pictures to dozens of friends on facebook to see how they look in comparison to me, and most of the time I actually feel good about myself and that I do have that cute look.

I won't allow anybody to take photograps of me unless it is myself. I seem to be horrified when I look at photos of myself that other people take, and feel much better about them when I take them myself with the webcam when I can get the correct angle on my face. There are days when I imagine I have a receading hairline. Last year I thought I was going bald at the back and the front, when it turned out I wasn't in the slightest. I also thought I had found grey hairs on my hair and was doen for a whole week, I went around to my friends and asked them to check through my hair to see if they found grey, I even asked my local shop keeper to check :eek:

Also if a girl my own age doesn't make eye contact with me in Tesco or on the bus I automatically assume that she thinks I am ugly. I have had a few girls add me on Facebook and they commented on my pictures and told me I was hot and handsome etc but they wren't very attrctive girls so it led nowhere. I did get chatting to an ok looking girl for a while but she just randomly deleted me off facebook one day, so I was down for two whole weeks, didn't even want to get out if the bed, and felt like the ugly guy again. There have being about three girls in the last couple of months who I have met in clubs etc who have just stopped texting me out of the blue for no reason, again I feel it's because of my looks.

But get this, I go through periods where I think I am the best looking guy around. I feel other guys can't even compete with me. I go to the gym regularly and when I am going through my super confidence periods I just laugh to myself at other guys around me. I thank God for our beautiful I turned out and feel sorry for some of the guys who don't have my looks or my fit tall body. I feel I can have any woman I want and it is just a matter of clicking my fingers. I just feel like some big model superstar and everyone else around me is ****.

Can someone just please help me, I really don't understand why I am behaving like this.

It's not for me to diagnose you, but <snip>

Mate, please go to see your GP. You owe it to yourself.

Ickle Magoo

selfobsessed - given you your own thread on which to ask advice so the other thread gets advice only pertinent to the person who started it.

Thanks, Ickle.