Should I bite the bullet and ask him out?!

LegacyUser

Okay boys & girls....here goes..

I really fancy a guy at work whose last day is tomorrow. He was only working in my company
for the last few weeks installing a new IT system. The only time I spoke to him was when he was updating my computer and he seemed really friendly and sound. We didn’t get to talk for long but I instantly liked him.

Whenever he walks past my desk he always says ‘hey there’ and when he leaves in the evening time he always says goodbye.

I casually asked one of our regular IT guys when he’s finishing up and he said tomorrow.

I would absolutely love for him to ask me out but I doubt he will. I’m not sure if he fancies me, it’s
So hard to tell! I’m considered a good looking girl and on nights out often get checked out/approached etc but when it’s someone I really like I get so nervous and full of self doubt.

So, my question is, should I just ask him out tomorrow afternoon?? I’m thinking along the lines of ‘he who dares wins’ and ‘life is too short’ and ‘better to regret the things you do’ blah blah blah

Then part of me is thinking, no, don’t , you’ll get shot down and if he liked you enough he’d ask you!

I’ve been working here for 6 months and 2 guys have asked me out. I didn’t like either of them and said no but this proves my point that if a man wants you enough, he’ll ask you!!

Any advice guys??? Time is running out. He is on facebook but set to private (I know I know...I’m a stalker..hah!)

Thanks

Pebbles68

Yes, yes, yes. Go for it. I wouldn't be with the man I am with today if I hadn't made the first move (9 years ago)

LegacyUser

ask him out in the afternoon of his last day..if he says no you will never see him again and might possible great a great boyfiend out of it and no one else will know..grow a pair!

Ickle Magoo

What have you got to lose? If he says yes then...result! If he says no, you never have to see him again or at least not every day at work. Win-win. :cool:

LegacyUser

try and find out if he has a girlfriend before asking him.

It could save you the hassle!

If he doesn't then go for it!

I'm a guy and there is nothing better than being asked out!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys:)

I'm 28 years old so I should be mature enough to just ask him but I am so nervous at the thought of it.

It's weird, on a night out when I'm dressed up I'm full of confidence (alcohol may also play a part!) but in work I just lose my nerve.

I very much believe in going after what you want and f*ck it if he says no but I'm stalling on this one. Maybe I should have a pint before work!

What about the whole if he liked me he'd ask me thing? Isn't that true?
If I'm a girl and I'm willing to risk it, surely as the guy he should too?
I think he would if he liked me!!

LegacyUser

OP,

i actually got really excited reading your post - just do it! fek "if he liked me, he'd ask me.' like you said yourself, you only live once - we could all be dead 2m! Now go and ask him <snip>

tinkerbell

OP, ASK HIM!!!!

Seriously, it's his last day and you have nothing to lose. If he says yes, then great and if he says no, well it's his last day so you don't have to see him again.

If you wait for him to ask, even if he does like you he might not ask you out because (a) he might think you have a boyfriend, (b) he is shy, etc. etc.

So go for it!!! And if he does like you, sure he'd be delighted that you made the first move. If you want something - go get it, don't just hang around waiting for it to land in your lap. If ya don't be proactive about it, you'll regret it coz then you might never see him again!

Just ask him "hey, would you like to go out sometime?" or something, meet for dinks or whatever. DO IT!!!

LegacyUser

justmakesure wrote: »

try and find out if he has a girlfriend before asking him.

It could save you the hassle!

If he doesn't then go for it!

I'm a guy and there is nothing better than being asked out!

How do I find that out though?? There's no way of knowing bar asking him out!
His facebook is private and I don't have any other way of checking!

Aaahhhh...I think I'll just do it, better to know then to wonder.

Thanks all. I will 1000% post back here tomorrow either ecstatic or weeping:)
Wish me luck!!!

One last thing....will he think I'm desperate? I am a pretty girl and I'm popular in work and he sees loads of people chatting to me etc but....I dunno...I'm scared!!!

helimachoptor

OP the power is with you, he may think you have a boyfriend etc, just ask!

parker kent

parkedlife wrote: »

I’ve been working here for 6 months and 2 guys have asked me out. I didn’t like either of them and said no but this proves my point that if a man wants you enough, he’ll ask you!!

There are a 1000 different reasons why that line is wrong. There are all sorts of possibilities that may prevent a guy asking out a girl that he likes. It would be a great idea for you to ask him out. Worst case scenario, he says no and you get on with your life. At least then you will always know you tried.

Also, in no way will he think you are desparate. I have no idea why girls say a guy will think that. I'd be over-the-moon if a pretty (or any girl really!) asked me out. It is a great compliment.

LegacyUser

parker kent wrote: »

There are a 1000 different reasons why that line is wrong. There are all sorts of possibilities that may prevent a guy asking out a girl that he likes. It would be a great idea for you to ask him out. Worst case scenario, he says no and you get on with your life. At least then you will always know you tried.

Also, in no way will he think you are desparate. I have no idea why girls say a guy will think that. I'd be over-the-moon if a pretty (or any girl really!) asked me out. It is a great compliment.

You know what...you're right...you're all right and I've decided to go for it!!
I'll report back tomorrow.
Thanks to all of you:)

tinkerbell

There is no way he will think you are desperate. You're just asking him out, it's not desperation at all!

Go for it, and do report back to us - best of luck with it, and I hope it goes well for you! *hug*

jdivision

Ask him, he mightn't feel comfortable asking out somebody when he's still on a job so get in there first.

calex71

Dooooooooooooooooooo it!!!!!!!!!!


Sure he's leaving anyway so not like there will be any awkwardness afterwards if he says no.

You could always drop a hint and see if he is going for drinks or something on his last day if you don't want to outright ask him out. But that just leads to more uncertainty. Direct approach best here me thinks.

From a guys point of view, some guys ehhemmm :rolleyes: are either just stoopid when it comes to realising a girl likes them or they are just a bit shy so need a little more than a subtle hint

zxcvbnm1

Definitely don't drop hints to see if he's going for drinks.

Without a doubt this requires a direct approach otherwise it will turn into you analysing his reply too much if he doesn't ask you out straight away.

It requires a direct question.

Asking him in an email if he wants to meet up sometime is the way forward.
If he's interested he will accept. And if he's not he will come up with some vague reply in which case you'll have your answer.

By the way - don't stress if you don't get an immediate response. You probably will catch him by surprise a little. Nothing at all wrong with that of course.

Phrase it anyway you want but don't spend too much phrasing it beforehand. Bottom line is if you communicate your message clearly then the exact phrasing won't make any difference.

But do make sure you clearly communicate your message. The last thing you want is to think you have phrased it clearly and then in fact you realize by his response that it wasn't as clear as you think it was.

So MAKE SURE there is no ambiguity in it.

Regardless of his response, come 6 o clock tomorrow you will be delighted with yourself. Don't stress too much. It really is not a big deal even if it does feel that way tomorrow. Keep that but in mind in case you get cold feet tomorrow.

Remember this is what people - guys and gals - go through all the time they ask someone out.

LegacyUser

Well guys...here's the update...

I got up early and made sure I looked good today....did my hair, make up etc.
I had my nerve up to ask him and was actually more excited then nervous.

He was in before lunch and he walked past me at one stage and said hi.
I went to lunch and when i came back he was gone. The room he was working in
was empty and locked. I casually asked IT if he was about and they said no, that he is finished up now.

So there ya go.

I feel very foolish for thinking he might like me too. I feel like an idiot.
I have his email address and my friend suggested facebooking him or emailing him saying 'Hey, wish I had've got to say goodbye blah blah' but I dunno. I just feel that
if he liked me he would have asked me or made sure he got my number.

Meh

claiva

parkedlife wrote: »

Well guys...here's the update...

I got up early and made sure I looked good today....did my hair, make up etc.
I had my nerve up to ask him and was actually more excited then nervous.

He was in before lunch and he walked past me at one stage and said hi.
I went to lunch and when i came back he was gone. The room he was working in
was empty and locked. I casually asked IT if he was about and they said no, that he is finished up now.

So there ya go.

I feel very foolish for thinking he might like me too. I feel like an idiot.
I have his email address and my friend suggested facebooking him or emailing him saying 'Hey, wish I had've got to say goodbye blah blah' but I dunno. I just feel that
if he liked me he would have asked me or made sure he got my number.

Meh

OMG - I'm gutted !!!
I was so excited for you !!!
Definitely send him an email and tell him you were going to ask him out.
Life is too short for regrets.
A similar thing happened to me and now i'm 9 years happily married !!!
Do it !!!
(I spend my life tellin girls in work etc that bloke's are generally oblivious to girls that fancy them and that a very very small percentage of blokes have the courage to ask girls out like that, loads of my mates are still single because they can't "meet" girls, just ask him out and be proud of the fact that you did it regardless of the outcome).

Taltos

Had a gut feel this is the type of update we would be getting though I hoped I was wrong.

You know there might be a few reasons he did not ask you out
1. Yes he might have a GF - but until you ask you will never know.
2. You are employed in a place he was a contractor - so any approaches by him could be viewed as sexual harassment - this is a small country - so word gets around.
3. Maybe - just maybe he thought "if she liked me she would let me know / ask me out..."
4. Maybe you are not his type.

However, having let this opp slip you by I guess we won't know. FB / Texting - personally I hate those - but who knows, you might be lucky.

zxcvbnm1

For some reason you have it in your head that if a guy likes you he will ask you out.

I'm a guy - it doesn't work like that. (Although it should do - but it doesn't)

My own belief is he looked on you as someone he doesn't know who he works with and therefore it most likely did not properly enter his radar.

Most likely he may have commented to himself that she's alright - and didn't pout a whole lot of more thought into it. That's ofetn happened to me.

However - if you ask him then he will approach the whole thing with different mindset. And if he's single and has any balls at all he will probably at least be up for meeting up for a drink.

Worst case scenario he says no. Experiencing a rejection is really no biggy (believe me - I know !).
You will be over it in 10 mins.

Seriously - if you're not in you can't win !

But timing is important.

i really think you have to send it today.
Send te hmail - hit the booze for the night. And check it later on tonight.

LegacyUser

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

For some reason you have it in your head that if a guy likes you he will ask you out.

I'm a guy - it doesn't work like that. (Although it should do - but it doesn't)

My own belief is he looked on you as someone he doesn't know who he works with and therefore it most likely did not properly enter his radar.

Most likely he may have commented to himself that she's alright - and didn't pout a whole lot of more thought into it. That's ofetn happened to me.

However - if you ask him then he will approach the whole thing with different mindset. And if he's single and has any balls at all he will probably at least be up for meeting up for a drink.

Worst case scenario he says no. Experiencing a rejection is really no biggy (believe me - I know !).
You will be over it in 10 mins.



Thank you so much, you've really helped me out.
I'm defo gonna send him a mail and I'm defo gonna hit the pub as soon as I leave here.
I'm actually going to an amazing gig tonight so I'm not gonna let this weigh on my mind.
I'll keep you posted:)
Yikes!!

Seriously - if you're not in you can't win !

But timing is important.

i really think you have to send it today.
Send te hmail - hit the booze for the night. And check it later on tonight.

Thank you so much, you've really helped me out.
I'm defo gonna send him a mail and I'm defo gonna hit the pub as soon as I leave here.
I'm actually going to an amazing gig tonight so I'm not gonna let this weigh on my mind.
I'll keep you posted:)
Yikes!!

parker kent

parkedlife wrote: »

I feel very foolish for thinking he might like me too. I feel like an idiot.
I have his email address and my friend suggested facebooking him or emailing him saying 'Hey, wish I had've got to say goodbye blah blah' but I dunno. I just feel that
if he liked me he would have asked me or made sure he got my number.

Meh

Believe me, I am a guy that has ended up not asking girls for their numbers, out for drinks etc purely because I didn't believe I stood a chance. Often I have found out later that they did actually like me. Believe me, that is when you feel stupid!

If you are a pretty girl, it could just be as simple as him thinking that he hasn't a chance. Great to read you are going to email him. Hope you get some good news!

Plus from now on you will always appreciate any guy that makes the effort to ask you out. This is what everybody asking somebody out goes though in some way.

LegacyUser

Done!!

I just hit send and my heart is pounding. I'll keep you all posted.
Thanks so much for giving me the push I needed. I'm glad I've asked him
regardless of the outcome.

I think thinking of Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest where he tried to lift the cistern but fails. He loses face and he loses the bet but he turns to all teh patients and says
'Well I tried goddamn it...at least i did that'.
Love it:)

tinkerbell

Great stuff OP, good luck!

Kimia

Good for you OP!! Very happy for you - you should be very proud of yourself for taking the first step. Keep us posted!!

aidan24326

parkedlife wrote: »

Done!!

I just hit send and my heart is pounding. I'll keep you all posted.
Thanks so much for giving me the push I needed. I'm glad I've asked him
regardless of the outcome.

I think thinking of Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest where he tried to lift the cistern but fails. He loses face and he loses the bet but he turns to all teh patients and says
'Well I tried goddamn it...at least i did that'.
Love it:)

He may or not fancy you, may or not be single, but at the very least he'll be flattered that a pretty girl asked him out, and won't think you're desperate or anything like that. As other guys said to you, it's always a thrill to have a girl ask you out as it so seldom happens. Girls should be more proactive about that stuff and not assume that it's always the guy's place to make a move. There may be any number of reasons why he didn't ask you for your number or whatever, work isn't a place where lads would normally do that, and he may just be a bit shy about that sort of stuff. You'll find out soon enough anyway!

squeakyduck

I hope you get a positive email back!

LegacyUser

He said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He who dares wins <snip>!!!

I am so happy.

Thank you guys so much for your support and encouragement. I love boards:)

This I hope will be inspiration for anybody considering asking someone out.
Just go for it. Life is too short not to take risks.

I am so happy right now:)

Zaph

Congratulations OP, but while I appreciate your exuberance the profanity is a bit unnecessary so I've edited your post.

tinkerbell

OMG yay!!!! That is amazing news! I'm so thrilled for you!

LegacyUser

Zaph wrote: »

Congratulations OP, but while I appreciate your exuberance the profanity is a bit unnecessary so I've edited your post.

Sorry Zaph...got a bit carried away there!

Jumpy

parkedlife wrote: »

He said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He who dares wins <snip>!!!

I am so happy.

Thank you guys so much for your support and encouragement. I love boards:)

This I hope will be inspiration for anybody considering asking someone out.
Just go for it. Life is too short not to take risks.

I am so happy right now:)

If I had seen this earlier I would have advised you that contractors must keep things professional if they are at customer sites. Otherwise they can get in serious trouble.
Even if he fancied the pants off you I doubt he would have said anything.
Mailing him after his work is done is by far the best thing to do and wouldnt cause any issues in his work.

Congrats

zxcvbnm1

Great stuff. Make sure to let us know how the date goes.

RhubarbCrumble

Yay! Excellent stuff OP! Hope it all goes well

kjl

Let's just hope he doesn't read PI :P

Well done OP, so good to see a nice ending on here.