Am I a horrible person?

LegacyUser

I am a twenty year old female college student.....

......my main 'concern' is the way I feel, I know it will make me sound like a horrible person but I can't help but to feel more intelligent than other people.
I just feel like everybody around me is braindead and it's so difficult to find a decent conversation, I always feel like people are on a lower level than I am - and I always feel like I know exactly what they are thinking and I usually do and because of this I find it very easy to manipulate people, I can always make people feel how I want them to feel, change their minds about things while still making them think that it is their own decision and I also find it very easy to get things that I want from people - I don't like this trait in myself but I can't help it and so many times when I am actually doing it I don't realise and when I eventually do it makes me feel awful and lately I just find myself cutting myself off from other people and becomming more and more depressed and lonely.
I hate liars and greedy people and I just have been feeling like everybody around me is greedy and constantly lying and I always feel so paranoid incase people are lying to me and it makes me so angry inside, usually I have to leave the situation when I believe somebody is lying and go off and calm myself down.........
am I a horrible person?
Is there a way I can change this?

Ickle Magoo

Would you consider counselling?

You say you hate liars and people who are greedy and yet you manipulate people to get what you want - do you think you could be projecting? You think everyone is braindead and on a lower level yet you are the one getting depressed and isolated. Perhaps talking to a third party would help you see things in perspective?

All the best.

astra2000

No I dont think your a horrible person and the reason I say so is because if you were you wouldnt be bothered asking.
We all have certain personality traits that we dont like no one is perfect.
I believe you can change this and it wont necessarily take counselling though I wouldnt rule it out. Make a decision that you will treat people as you yourself would like to be treated, you dont need to start been a push over but if you dont want to be manipulated by others then dont do it either. It will take time to break this habbit, as you said you sometimes dont even realise you have done it until afterwards, dont beat yourself up just make more of an effort next time, your not going to change over night.
Now the conversation thing just lighten up a little, sure none of us want to talk about celebrities, reality tv or whatever all the time, but there is no harm either in light hearted chat, it doesnt mean people are less intelligent than you just that they may have more varied topics than you have.
Stop going so hard on yourself its spoiling your life take each day as it comes and relax a bit, best of luck

LittleBook

whatkindofpersonami wrote: »

I always feel like I know exactly what they are thinking and I usually do and because of this I find it very easy to manipulate people, I can always make people feel how I want them to feel, change their minds about things while still making them think that it is their own decision and I also find it very easy to get things that I want from people

And consider using your powers for good instead of evil.

It may well be that you're ridiculously empathetic. Embrace your gift and use it wisely.

A lemon

Ok first off, you're not more intelligent than everyone else. Everyone has their strengths in different areas - only your stength is that you're astute. Think of it as your competitive advantage. It's not a bad thing - you need to stop over-analyzing it. What it means for me is that I'm practically allergic to people that aren't "genuine", if you know what I mean! It's certainly not a bad thing though. What's making you feel down in the dumps is that you're keeping your "strength" all to yourself. Show people that you spot BS in an instant and you'll find very little of it coming your way. This requires a sense of humour and an ability to not make people feel uncomfortable. But seriously, when something's bothering you, better out than in. Also, consciously manipulating people is creepy - just stop it. Being honest with people goes a long way to solving many problems.

Unless you've omitted to mention a long string of murders you've committed, you're not a horrible person.

However it must be said that it's actually quite ignorant to think you're more intelligent than other people. I agree with the saying that true knowledge is knowing you know nothing (think it was socrates who said it...). The same applies with people's heads. Thinking that what you see is what you get is ridiculous. Every single person around you has stuff going on in their heads, and while you might find it easy to work around other people's way of thinking, you don't actually know what they've got on their mind. Everyone has intelligent thought, and the vast majority of people don't feel the need to vocalise it. You think you can decipher what people are thinking. That's not everything in their head. That's just surface thoughts. You don't know who's dealing with an illness, or personal issues, while they're talking to you about whatever. Most people have interests that they dont feel the need to talk about. You don't know whether the person you're talking to can speak an extra language, or can sail or ski or make clothes or do any number of skilled things. You don't know if they read classic novels or know lots about world affairs or like learning random stuff on the internet.

You might be able to manipulate people, but trust me, you can't possibly know another person's intelligence.

stevejr

First off, It's a very mature 20yo that can analyse oneself and come up with such a detailed self appraisal. Well done.

I'm not patronising by praising, I genuinely believe that honest self analysis; ie the ability to be totally honest with oneself is an ability that many people do not attain until they are at least a decade older than you. Personally speaking, it's only now, in my 30's, that i've been able to look in the mirror and not see my reflection through rose-tinted glasses. I've realised that the world doesn't revolve around me and that everyone else is as important as me. No reflection on you OP but youth does have it's disadvantages.

Some people never achieve self awareness vis-a-vis the effects their actions have on others (just trawl through some of the moronic immature posts in this forum for some apt examples). But this self-other-awareness is called empathy. Think about it, do you feel awful when manipulating people because you would hate to think it could happen to you??

Ironically, for you, the ability to manipulate always signifies some selfishness on the part of the manipulator and usually lies play a part also. Do you recognise this in your own manipulation?? Is this perhaps why you "hate liers and greedy people"?? I'm not judging you just challenging you to ask yourself these questions.

It's seems from your post that empathy is what you are starting to apply in your life. Try to keep it going, it is an excellent tool in life, one that is scarce enough in your peer-group and will surely set your apart.

Remember that the reason you've posted here is perhaps paradoxically the reason why you should be optimistic. You're self aware. Use your ability and obvious intelligence to make others feel good, trust me you'll get it back in spades.

Genuinely.........Best of Luck!!