Changing my religion

mawdz

Hi all.

I am currently in the process of changing my religion entirely. Let me give you some background on my situation. I was a male Roman catholic for 22 years of my lfie. I've worked hard always been devout and generally a good christian. Anytime i had a time of need and turned to god he always obliged. My "beef" isn't with god or even the religion itself. Its with the church. The church refuses to advance with the times. It acknowledge gays and is only considering now weather or not to acknowledge condoms and it still is against sex before marraige. Basically if i go out on a saturday and want to get my bit a decide the girls are too skanky so ill chance a fella first of all the church expects me not to do it. And if i break that rule then they expect me to bareback. Excuse my language but "Jeez louise". SO anyway ive decided to move religion. They religion i have found the suits me and my life style better is rather suprising one. Its acknowledges God and all he stands for. It doesnt stop you from doin anything it does setup guidelines. You don't agree with one its and do against it its not going against god will its just you being you.

Here is a snippet of what the Religion is all about that i found online (unsure if im allowed to mention other sites so i wont):
The central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. Pirates are revered as the original Pastafarians, and Pastafarians facetiously assert that a steady decline in the number of pirates over the years has resulted in a significant rise in global temperature. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day. Other Pastafarian holidays include Ramendan, Pastover, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and a vaguely defined holiday near Christmas named "Holiday.

It does not have commandments, instead it has 8 "I really rather you didn'ts". 1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Ok i got as detailed as i can. Am i making a good life choice. My family members say im mad but i think choose a religion which suits you ebst not one that suits other best.

5uspect

Hey, how is it in 2005?
Any chance you could tell the Government not to **** it up?

mawdz

Its not 2005?????? Im just in the process of changing my religion and want to know what everyone thinks cos my family think i am mad but isnt it better to choose a religion that suits yourself?

philologos

Yawn, obvious troll is obvious! :pac:

Fanny Cradock

Thanks, [mawdz, for taking the time to inform us - people you don't know and who didn't ask - about your lifestyle change. Now I wonder is there a point to this beyond a rather long and tedious attempt to rile Christians?