traded in for a newer model...

LegacyUser

just found out my ex has traded me (28) in for a 20 year old,
i know the girl and she is unreal looking
im gutted he found someone so quick (feel ike throwing up)
any advice on how to sleep tonite?

LegacyUser

If he's with her just because of her age, you can comfort yourself by thinking he's a dirty old man.
If he's with her because he actually gets on well with her, wish him well and carry on living your life.

Either way, move on.

Sleepy

You're 28, that's still young.

He's your ex, not your partner so tbh, who he's sleeping with now isn't any of your concern. Different eople take different lengths of time to get over past relationships, some of us move on quickly, others need time for themselves before they can move on.

Would it bother him if you were to start something with a more handsome, younger, richer, fitter, better hung guy? How would you feel about it if he was upset about it? Wouldn't you just think that he should get over it?

Live your own life rather than upsetting yourself by focusing on what other people do.

afatbollix

First of all dont think of yourself as a old fart...

If I knew how to make you sleep tonight, Id be a rich man as so many like you at the moment. But Ill try, Dont turn off the light with him or her in your mind, think of something else.. Something your reallying into or the things you have to do tomorrow or what your going to do on the weekend.
I dont think a 28 year old will go out with a 20 year old for long.. So between you and me we know it wont last! so you can laugh over that!

Faith

Sleepy wrote: »

Would it bother him if you were to start something with a more handsome, younger, richer, fitter, better hung guy? How would you feel about it if he was upset about it? Wouldn't you just think that he should get over it?

Live your own life rather than upsetting yourself by focusing on what other people do.

Nonsense, tbh. If my ex was upset about me going out with someone better looking and richer, I'd be fúcking delighted. It would serve him right to be upset, considering the hurt he caused me when he dumped me. I doubt I'm alone there either.

It would be wonderful if we could avoid being upset by the actions of other people, but that's impossible. Assuming the OP was dumped, she's 100% normal to be feeling sick at the thought of her ex with someone else. 9 months on and I still can't bear the thought of my ex even looking at another woman.

There's not much I can say that's going to comfort you, OP. It's an incredibly difficult time for you and all you can do is just take it minute by minute. Do whatever you can tonight to relax yourself - take a bath, watch TV, read a book. Just try to keep your mind off it. It sounds like a complete rebound tbh, and is fairly unlikely to last any length of time. But you just need to do whatever you can to not think of it for now.

whatsamsn

old fart? wrote: »

any advice on how to sleep tonite?

It always hurts when we hear our last ex is with someone new. Even when we would never go back with them. It still hurts. Its natural. Especially when we are not quite over them yet.
Yes she is younger than you, but be honest, is it the age that hurts? or the fact he has someone new?
You could get a 20yo yourself if you wanted. But I imagine you dont want that.

So dont worry op. We've all got upset at our ex finding someone while we havent moved on yet.

afatbollix wrote: »

I dont think a 28 year old will go out with a 20 year old for long.. So between you and me we know it wont last! so you can laugh over that!

My thoughts exactly.

Kingpin187

"afatbollix - I dont think a 28 year old will go out with a 20 year old for long.. So between you and me we know it wont last! so you can laugh over that!"

why would you think that?

I met my gf when she was 19, shes 21 now and Im 28, still very much in love and living together

good luck to the guy

LegacyUser

Kingpin187 wrote: »

"afatbollix - I dont think a 28 year old will go out with a 20 year old for long.. So between you and me we know it wont last! so you can laugh over that!"

why would you think that?

I met my gf when she was 19, shes 21 now and Im 28, still very much in love and living together

You were lucky in that you and your girlfriend want the same things. But most couples with an age difference like that (one college going age, usually not looking to settle down; the other working, usually looking to settle down) will split up because they don't want the same things in life.

LegacyUser

Pah, don't let the age thing bother you. She's just out of her teens, I don't care how mature "the kids" are these days, it's a bit pathetic of him to exert the older-man-about-town thing on an impressionable young girl. I'd feel sorry for him versus jealous, maybe it's an early mid life crisis

Kingpin187

I agree with the unreg that quoted me

That was a worry of mine at the start, I have been in a long term relationship and have a 5yr old girl, and obv you think oh shes still young etc etc... but we want the same things and made for each other... and I agree, I am very lucky, tell myself that everyday )

ManOfMystery

What do you mean by your ex 'traded you in' for a newer model - did he dump you just to start going out with her? If so it was a bit of a low move on his part.

If however, you had broken up well before this and you've just discovered your ex has a new girlfriend (who happens to be 20) - it's really none of your business. I fail to see the significance of her age, would it make you feel a lot better if she was 23 or 26 or whatever? Your ex is probably with her because he actually likes her, I doubt he went out and deliberately aimed to pick up a younger girl just because you're 28 and he wanted to annoy you.

LegacyUser

I'm sorry but no one can really know whether they will last or not, and just because there is a bit of an age gap you can't go assuming things. Those type of comments really do my head in! I'm 10 years younger than my OH and it's not something we even think about...(we've been together for a few years now).

whatsamsn

wat?? wrote: »

Those type of comments really do my head in! I'm 10 years younger than my OH and it's not something we even think about...(we've been together for a few years now).

I do believe people talk about in gerneralities of maturity levels when talking about an age gap. But more important in this case its about a 28yo man dating a 20yo. Two different stages of life. Some will work, some wont, as well all know.

But as a mid 20s man I can say although some 20yo girls can be mature for their age, alot are not. Thats not to mention at that age alot of people just wanna have fun.

LegacyUser

I understand that, but you can't just make that kind of statement without knowing the couple.

Well I was 19 (going on 20) when I met OH, must be the exception because its working out pretty well for us.

LegacyUser

wat?? wrote: »

I'm sorry but no one can really know whether they will last or not, and just because there is a bit of an age gap you can't go assuming things. .

I think it's ok to assume. Especially as the people in question don't know it's being assumed about them