what the hell

LegacyUser

I am seeing my current boyfriend for just over 1 year . he has just told me that he doesn't enjoy receiving oral sex from me as I am not very good at it in fact I am quite bad at it and it doesn't do any thing for him . Now I enjoy oral sex as part of what is what I thought was an amazing sex life . I am very upset I asked him what was it that I was doing wrong and he couldn't explain . Now it has as far as I am aware not been an issue in previous relationships and its not like I am inexperienced in this regard but I do know that not all men are the same and I am willing to learn what he needs . I asked him was it always bad and his answer was yes . I can't believe I got it so wrong for so long and he didn't tell me. I am devastated and feeling very upset about it . He is refusing to talk about it and stormed off even though he started the conversation. I can't understand why he would tell me this and is refusing to talk about I know it will take time and practice to get it right for him but I need him to show me and he says that he cann't .

It also got me thinking about other aspects of our sex life and one particular issue is that he said the more I want sex the more turned off he is so I stopped initiating sex altogether because being constantly rejected was getting me down.

i guess my question is considering all this is it worth it? Because I am feeling very down about the whole thing now and when I tried to discuss this with him he refused.

LegacyUser

OP i'd bet a lot of money this isn't actually about oral sex

He is refusing to talk about it and stormed off even though he started the conversation.

If it was genuinely about bad technique then he would have told you in an effort to help you improve, something just doesn't add up here whats the point in telling you this and not offering any suggestions on how he'd like you to do it?! it really sounds like he brought up the subject just to belittle you

one particular issue is that he said the more I want sex the more turned off he is so I stopped initiating sex altogether because being constantly rejected was getting me down.

Also another red flag again it seems like he's trying to put you down.

My opinion OP is that he's trying to push you away, why?
1) either he's taking the cowards way out and pushing you into breaking up with him because he's too spineless to do it himself
2) he's just a controlling assh*le who gets a kick out of putting you down

Either way his actions aren't those of a man who loves and respects his gf

Apart from sex how is your relationship generally?

magneticimpulse

No its not worth it. Any guy you normally give oral sex to appreciates it. Usually in sex life you work together to tell each other what works and what doesnt. This guy has been just utter rude about it all. You are trying your best to please him and he just turns around and insults you.

Plenty more fish in the sea...go find a guy who does appreciate you and your blow jobs

Taltos

When I first started reading this I was thinking maybe he was being on the level. Been on the the receiving end before where watching paint dry was more fun and less painful... (ow).

However when I read on and saw what else he has said to you I was reminded of another recent post.

I think one of the responses may have hit this on the head - he could be trying to push you away.

Some other options.
1. He is trying to control you - is your self-esteem suffering, do you doubt yourself more, are you only happy when he gives you validation/encouragement - all bad signs.
2. Maybe he just has a lower or no sex drive - and is hiding his "problem" in making you feel bad. I call it his problem - but it is not a problem really - it is just a state of being. This scenario is possible but with the way he has said things to you doubtful.
3. Is he getting it elsewhere?....

Suggest you talk to him. Lay down the law. Making you feel bad for being you is NOT on. Whatever is going on here is all HIM - he needs to accept this and work with you to improve things or get out of your life before he does succeed in destroying your self-confidence.

Best of Luck
T

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
Have you thought that maybe he doesn't like receiving Oral.
Myself I find it uncomfortable and painful sometimes. people just pull back the foreskin and go hell for leather.
Have you tried masturbating him and then slowly adding in your mouth, sometimes a mix of hand and mouth can work better.
Also maybe he had a bad experience early on with Oral. lots of possibilities. Just be patient and try to get him to talk.