The X Factor: Irish Hitler Edition

Kold

Looking at the thread of who we want to be the next Taoiseach is somewhat uninspiring. Fact is, with public outrage as it is, pressure on the government and our economy dwindling, time's ripe for an ambitious young bastard to unify the country, find our key strengths, turn us into an efficient, well running country, let power go to their heads and either success awaits or whatever that other thing that X Factor winners usually experience is. Democracy is clearly failing us, as is our political system. Are you the ruthless bastard we need to trim the fat, become the opium of the masses and lead us to glory?

So here we'll hold some auditions, I'll go first;

First things first, death penalty for those most at fault (bankers, Bertie, Cowen). Initial shock but people will feel that justice is done, especially when their assets are seized, even despite any legal loopholes there may be. This helps me desensitise the people to further bloodshed on the course of my egocentric power trip. I might execute Jedward too just for public entertainment and as a symbol of the previous madness that this country has thrown money at.

We need a cultural identity in order to feel unified. Unfortunately I feel that the 'Irish culture' appeals mainly to scumbags and boggers. The GAA will be scrapped and Irish will no longer be taught in schools. I will strike Irish pop music like the Coronas and Westlife harder than Hitler f*cked the Bauhaus. Yeah, I dunno, we may need to develop a new cultural identity to accommodate for the Eastern Euros (who are harder workers) anyway.

Tax on booze lowered, marajuana legalised. Stimulate economy, piss off squares. Win win.

Scapegoats: The very rich and scumbags. The good thing is I'm not sure if scumbags know they're scumbags so that'll make them relatively easier to cull.

International Policy: We play on the "It's only Ireland, we can't wage war with Ireland" For as long as possible, taking the piss and then when called on it, we explain that as a nation, we have a bit of a drinking problem. Should get us some sympathy.

tl;dr fun thread, rise to power, get cake

Biggins

This won't end well.

alwaysadub

Sorry, but the only thing i saw out of all that was cake.

What type of cake are we talking about here?

Jazzy

if voted in i will delete x-factor in all shapes and forms from the space time continuim.

I also promise to start giving rock stars more drugs so they actually make good music.

I will also delete fade street

Kold

Biggins wrote: »

This won't end well.

I see you enjoy Wagner....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSIryBaA-q8

Latchy

Marie Antoinettes '' Let them eat cake '' springs to mind but beheading all and sundry might be a step to far ....

AnonoBoy

Why can't it be 'The All Ireland Talent Show: Irish Hitler Edition?'

Huh?

Or am I willfully missing the point?

prinz

Biggins wrote: »

This won't end well.

It didn't even start well.

G_R

i would ban children, like they would be locked up ar birth in, lets call them, education camps. they would be released at the age of 18 provided they had something to offer society. interviews for the child catcher start immediately, im thinking something along the lunes of chitty chitty bang bang

ejmaztec

The Kold wind of change=Somalia 2:eek:

Pherekydes

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Why can't it be 'The All Ireland Talent Show: Irish Hitler Edition?'

Huh?

Or am I willfully missing the point?

Yes, you are. He made fairly clear that he was for quashing the Irish cultural identity.

I dunno how you're going to stop people using Irish or teaching it in schools. The Brits tried and failed.

OP: As for mass executions of the ruling classes, try googling Robespierre. Your fate is sealed.

friendface

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter!

Biggins

prinz wrote: »

It didn't even start well.

Tis true! :pac:

prinz

Kold wrote: »

Are you the ruthless bastard we need to trim the fat, become the opium of the masses and lead us to glory?

Yes. The rest of your post is nonsense however so no, I failed your audition.

I don't get this. Will people dress up as Hitler and give their best impressions and each week the nation decides who will be eliminated and, eventually at the end, who they want to kill all the Jews?

Kold

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't get this. Will people dress up as Hitler and give their best impressions and each week the nation decides who will be eliminated and, eventually at the end, who they want to kill all the Jews?

You can be as Hitler-like as you want. I'm just using him as my example of a rags to riches story to aspire to.