I think I have completley messed everything up!

LegacyUser

Hey , Ill do my best to keep things short,
I have made a huge mistake, don't think the details are very important! basically I may have developed something of a dependance on alcohol without realsing and it came to a head this weekend.

My OH and I have been a bit of spell recently and this has effected me, on friday she went out with her friends and I stayed in her apartment, this was fine and was planned, but I stupidly went and bought a bottle of wine after she left.

I ended up trashed on my own!!! Now I know this is not ok! and it wasn't planned!!! She called later that evening and of course could tell I was drunk.
I don't evm remember her calling and denied having been drinkning at the time...
She understandibly got very upset and arguements insued when she came home later that night.

The next day brought about a talking to by her, apologises from me etc.
The thing is I think I may have destroyed the best thing in m life...
She has said she loves me but can't be there to pick up the pieces if I end up where I am headed, she has had experience of alcoholism in her family and knows the signs, she feels I am teettering on the brink...

I know that my drinking is getting out of hand and the ne good thing in relation to what has happened is that it has been a bit of a wake up call,
My question is really, how should I "play this" I couldn't stand losing her,

I texted and called, and know that I am probably over doing it, She knows how sorry I am and has siad last night that she hates things being bad between us and that she wished shwe was with me last night (its a long idstance relationship at the moment), but via email this morning in work, it was just very cold, and to the point, not at all like her, I am in bits here and just don't want to say / do the wrong thing as I try to salvage this.

I would really appreciate any advice here, I am due to call her later and would like anyones opinions on this!

Thank you in advance.

Stop drinking?

Elle Collins

Sorry but if drinking a bottle of wine to yourself constitutes 'tettering on the brink' then I have been tettering on the brink for twenty years. The good news is I've managed not to slide off the edge yet.

LegacyUser

Thank you.

It's not that I drank a bottle to myself more that I drank it "by" myself, and then denied the fact on the phone later despite being obviously trollied!
I do drink too much, I know that, it has been said to me by friends before, this is a wake up call if nothing else. That's not really the issue now though, I realise this and will remedy it!

Im just trying to figure out the best way to deal with our relationship now as I can't fathom losing her and believe that she is trying to decide wether to finish things! I will talk to her this evening and see how things are then I guess, but Im just panicking now I think. The last couple of days have been like a bad dream, even now I am still hoping to wake up!

Missgoggles

Fooish 12345 wrote: »

Hey , Ill do my best to keep things short,
I have made a huge mistake, don't think the details are very important! basically I may have developed something of a dependance on alcohol without realsing and it came to a head this weekend.

My OH and I have been a bit of spell recently and this has effected me, on friday she went out with her friends and I stayed in her apartment, this was fine and was planned, but I stupidly went and bought a bottle of wine after she left.

I ended up trashed on my own!!! Now I know this is not ok! and it wasn't planned!!! She called later that evening and of course could tell I was drunk.
I don't evm remember her calling and denied having been drinkning at the time...
She understandibly got very upset and arguements insued when she came home later that night.

The next day brought about a talking to by her, apologises from me etc.
The thing is I think I may have destroyed the best thing in m life...
She has said she loves me but can't be there to pick up the pieces if I end up where I am headed, she has had experience of alcoholism in her family and knows the signs, she feels I am teettering on the brink...

I know that my drinking is getting out of hand and the ne good thing in relation to what has happened is that it has been a bit of a wake up call,
My question is really, how should I "play this" I couldn't stand losing her,

I texted and called, and know that I am probably over doing it, She knows how sorry I am and has siad last night that she hates things being bad between us and that she wished shwe was with me last night (its a long idstance relationship at the moment), but via email this morning in work, it was just very cold, and to the point, not at all like her, I am in bits here and just don't want to say / do the wrong thing as I try to salvage this.

I would really appreciate any advice here, I am due to call her later and would like anyones opinions on this!

Thank you in advance.

Hey OP,

As the above poster commented, this isn't just after one night. There must have been a few times when she has picked up on the signs.
What is good about this situation is that you have realized you have a problem and want to fix things. How to go about fixing things is to get control of your life. Instead of focusing on how to get her back etc, focus on what the problem is...which is your drinking, and then fix it. There are support groups etc out there, and if you are really serious about making it up to her and not destroying what you have with her, then you need to get yourself help.

Because she has had experience with alcoholism, it would be hard to watch another person you love taking that path. She may not want to deal with that and may want to distance herself from you. Or In my experience with alcoholic loved ones is that they appear sorry, and apologize all the time and promise they will get better...but then let me down by not doing what they are saying. Actions speak louder then words. Show her that your serious. She will know your sorry, now prove it to her.

Goodluck with this, I hope you fix it before your problem gets any worse!

calibelle

Op how much do you drink exactly? If your gf has experience of alcoholism she may be overeacting. Do you think you drink to much or are you just repeating her opinion?
There's been times my oh has had to work weekend nights and come home to find me and an empty bottle of wine......doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic! Well I hope not....

johnr1

Hey there OP,

Consider this a golden opportunity handed to you on a plate to do something very important for YOURSELF
You may or may not have a serious/less serious problem with alchocol, but most people who do struggle with the motivation to stop. This may be yours. Its a totally selfish thing, but one of the most rewarding things you can ever do for yourself in your whole life.
Dont stop for her or in order to get her back or stop her leaving cos this wont work and will inevitively fail.
If you truly want to improve your own quality of life, enjoy the high respect of your friends who matter, and be attractive and wanted by this woman or others, then decide what steps you need to take with regard to your drinking and put them into action.
Not every alcoholic drinks every day, some drink relatively little by comparison with their friends, but only you know if you have lost control over it or not. Tags mean very little here.
Whatever you decide for yourself, tell your OH what you are going to do and then DO it. Dont make promises you wont keep.
Best of luck with it all, your time may be now.

LegacyUser

Your advices are appreciated.

I don't feel it is her previous experience with this that is the issue i.e. making her over sensitive. I have done alot of soul searching over the last couple of days and she is right, there have been other signs, but i think the lying has been the major thing.... there is a line and I believe I am standing right over it...I have decided now, that I am going to stop this behaviour, whether she stays with me or not, I need to take the positive from this either way.

I will say this to her later, and hope all is not lost! I won't apologise again, she knows Im sorry, I need to prove that now.

Thank you