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Dating question

  • 22-11-2010 9:49am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I recently came out of a long term relationship and I'm back on the dating scene. I have been on two dates with a guy who is really nice and on paper ticks all the boxes but I'm not sure yet how I feel about him, I like him but I'm not head over heels about him but maybe something could grow. Another guy who I think is really cute has started to text me and I think he likes me. He would be more of a 'wilder' character and maybe not ideal boyfriend material but I'm very attracted to him.

    So this is where I need some advice, as I am unsure of my feelings about these two guys, is it ok to go on a third date with boy no. 1 and continue to text/see what happens with boy no.2? I am not 'exclusive' with anyone so while this may be acceptable behaviour when dating in the US, I think the Irish dating scene may be different....

    To be honest I was badly burned at the end of my last relationship so I'm slow to get involved seriously with anyone right now but I don't want to mess anyone around either and get myself involved in a complicated situation! Maybe I'm overthinking it all and I should just go with the flow. Any thoughts?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    I'd recommend going on a date, and having fun, and still texting the other guy. Keep your options open and don't make any boundaries, but on the other hand, don't say things you don't mean - for example, tell the guy how you feel and that you just want to continue slowly....don't expect to jump in and out of bed between the two guys without problems later on down the line.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think you should date both, but if it makes you feel better tell them that you are not looking for anything too serious right now and are "multidating" There are two benefits to that, it will make the guys desire you more as you are not "desperatly waiting" and you get to have double the fun!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    I dont know if people will agree with me ... but ...
    This all depends on what side you of the coin you are on. (the doing, or done to)

    Most people would see it as ok for themself to date more than one person in the "dating period" (keep their options open etc) ... but if a person they date was doing the same, they wouldnt like it. Start to think that there would be no future with them / that person is just casually into them / perhaps using them etc etc.

    It has to be said aswell that majority of the time when one agrees that its ok for both to see other people - its because deep down they aint that into them to begin with (aka you dont really care if they see other people as your not bothered with them)

    So is it right or wrong? ... its nither. Millions of people do it. Its perfectly alright when you want to date others. But you wouldnt like it if your really into someone and they are dating someone else. Its just one of those things.


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