Should I tell her what I think of her.....

xbbjllq

Hey All,

I'm looking for some general advice for my problem, that has slowly creeped up on me for some time now. I have started to see one of my closet friends as something more. I have known her for over 7 years, and for some reason it is only the last 6 months or so that I have begun to see her in a different light.

I'm beginning to study Psychology in my own time after work (not because I'm looking for the answer to why I'm falling for her, but I fund myself trying to relate everything back to her, as to establish another connection or reason why these feelings are true and should be acted on.) Basically I'm running around in circles.

As I said, we are very good friends and talk a lot during the week. But only on the phone, as she lives in another city. We don't get to see each other much, so maybe that is contributing to the feelings I have for her.

I'm trying to decide how to play out this game. If I should drop the hint and let her pick it up, or wait till I'm face to face and randomly bring it up. Or play the drink card, were decisions can be made and forgotten about the next day if needs be....

I truly think that we could make a great couple, we already know everything about each other, that each of us wants the other to know. But, I'm torn.. I know that there's never a right time, but there are wrong times to bring up these questions.

If anyone reads this and has had a similar situation occur to them. I would be greatfull if you could add your opinion please. As you never know.. maybe what you write here may change my decision and life....

Thanks a mill...

johnn

She will tell you that you're a "Nice Guy" but she only sees you as a friend I'm afraid OP.

starbelgrade

What's a closet friend?

bonerm

Look deep into your heart and the answer will become clear.

xox

alwaysadub

If you're looking for serious answers you're in the wrong place for a start!

Becoming more than friends doesn't always work.
If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same way, will you still stay friends?
Its happened to me before on different occassions-it's worked out but it's also bombed.

johnn

alwaysadub wrote: »

If you're looking for serious answers you're in the wrong place for a start!

Don't mind her OP. Next time you meet her ask her to give you a handshandy or f-off.

easyeason3

starbelgrade wrote: »

What's a closet friend?

One you keep locked up. Similar to a cellar friend.

dlofnep

If you guys were ever going to be together, it would have happened.

starbelgrade

xbbjllq wrote: »

have known her for over 7 years, and for some reason it is only the last 6 months or so that I have begun to see her in a different light.

Did she get a boob job?

KeithM89_old

xbbjllq wrote: »

But only on the phone, as she lives in another city.

Deal-breaker - dont do it. Phone sex isnt as good a real sex

Senna

Whats your little head telling you to do?
always listen to the little head.

Kylo Ren

Hit it and quit it

bonerm

KeithM89 wrote: »

Deal-breaker - dont do it. Phone sex isnt as good a real sex

You've clearly never had sex with the right phone.

longshanks

easyeason3 wrote: »

One you keep locked up. Similar to a cellar friend.

The Fritzel method?

KeithM89_old

bonerm wrote: »

You've clearly never had sex with the right phone.

I know - the vibration wasnt working

johnn

Senna wrote: »

Whats your little head telling you to do?
always listen to the little head.

It usually ends up shooting before its finished what its saying.

easyeason3

longshanks wrote: »

The Fritzel method?

The Fritzel friendship if you will.

Fritzel method sounds so unsavoury & creepy...

xbbjllq

starbelgrade wrote: »

What's a closet friend?

Sorry for my spelling, ( The joys of dyslexic )

As for staying friends...
I'm very confident that we will remain friends if I said that I'd like to 'give it' a go. But I imagine that, a part of the closeness will be lost.. and understandably so. From her point of view.

As for 'Nice guy' I only see that as a plus. I think you might be referring to the close friendship we have. I know the type that she's actually attracted too.. And I'm not floating my own boat here, but I'd be in with a good shout, If we were to meet for the first time....

easyeason3

xbbjllq wrote: »

Sorry for my spelling, ( The joys of dyslexic )

As for staying friends...
I'm very confident that we will remain friends if I said that I'd like to 'give it' a go. But I imagine that, a part of the closeness will be lost.. and understandably so. From her point of view.

As for 'Nice guy' I only see that as a plus. I think you might be referring to the close friendship we have. I know the type that she's actually attracted too.. And I'm not floating my own boat here, but I'd be in with a good shout, If we were to meet for the first time....

Have you never met her before? In person?

TheZohanS

xbbjllq wrote: »

As for staying friends...
I'm very confident that we will remain friends if I said that I'd like to 'give it' a go. But I imagine that, a part of the closeness will be lost.. and understandably so. From her point of view.

As for 'Nice guy' I only see that as a plus. I think you might be referring to the close friendship we have. I know the type that she's actually attracted too.. And I'm not floating my own boat here, but I'd be in with a good shout, If we were to meet for the first time....

Interesting...

edit: too late...damn you easyseason...

xbbjllq

easyeason3 wrote: »

Have you never met her before? In person?

No, thats not what I said... silly..

I ment, If we had never met before, and I happened to walk by her in a bar type of situation...

easyeason3

xbbjllq wrote: »

No, thats not what I said... silly..

I ment, If we had never met before, and I happened to walk by her in a bar type of situation...

Oh right.
So if you walked by her in a bar type situation do you think you might stop to buy her a drink or stay walking?

Because it sounds like you think all you have to do is walk past someone to make them swoon.

alwaysadub

xbbjllq wrote: »

No, thats not what I said... silly..

I ment, If we had never met before, and I happened to walk by her in a bar type of situation...

Ah right,
Well what you do there is hit her over the head hard enough for her to suffer a bad case of amnesia and forgets you ever knew each other. Then you happen to walk by her in a bar..obviously she'll fall right in love with you.

xbbjllq

easyeason3 wrote: »

Oh right.
So if you walked by her in a bar type situation do you think you might stop to buy her a drink or stay walking?

Because it sounds like you think all you have to do is walk past someone to make them swoon.

I like the word 'swoon', very subtle and cute.
But was using this bar example, because going to all the guys she's been with over the last approx. 2 years. And only comparing myself to them.

But then again... there must have been something different with them that she doesn't see in my...

I might be answering my own questions here...


So... maybe I shouldn't tell here...

Princess Peach

Next time you see her, drop the hand.

easyeason3

xbbjllq wrote: »

I like the word 'swoon', very subtle and cute.
But was using this bar example, because going to all the guys she's been with over the last approx. 2 years. And only comparing myself to them.

But then again... there must have been something different with them that she doesn't see in my...

I might be answering my own questions here...


So... maybe I shouldn't tell here...

Maybe she knows about this & thought she wasn't your type:
drunk tug!
I was sooo drunk some time ago, that I woke up and on the laptop beside me was two lads having at it 'paused' mid staft.... and a moist matress.....

TheUsual

Buy her a wedding ring and some sexy underwear for Christmas.

Always works with chicks from another city that have barring orders against you.

alwaysadub

xbbjllq wrote: »

As an arrow.


It was the worst hangover i'd ever had... for many reasons....

I wasn't myself for a whole week after that....

I had to throw myself into online porn in a way that and single wanka-thon guy would be impressed...

oh.. i have a girlfriend too..

needless to say, we were busy

xbbjllq wrote: »

Hey All,

I'm looking for some general advice for my problem, that has slowly creeped up on me for some time now. I have started to see one of my closet friends as something more. I have known her for over 7 years, and for some reason it is only the last 6 months or so that I have begun to see her in a different light.

I'm beginning to study Psychology in my own time after work (not because I'm looking for the answer to why I'm falling for her, but I fund myself trying to relate everything back to her, as to establish another connection or reason why these feelings are true and should be acted on.) Basically I'm running around in circles.

As I said, we are very good friends and talk a lot during the week. But only on the phone, as she lives in another city. We don't get to see each other much, so maybe that is contributing to the feelings I have for her.

I'm trying to decide how to play out this game. If I should drop the hint and let her pick it up, or wait till I'm face to face and randomly bring it up. Or play the drink card, were decisions can be made and forgotten about the next day if needs be....

I truly think that we could make a great couple, we already know everything about each other, that each of us wants the other to know. But, I'm torn.. I know that there's never a right time, but there are wrong times to bring up these questions.

If anyone reads this and has had a similar situation occur to them. I would be greatfull if you could add your opinion please. As you never know.. maybe what you write here may change my decision and life....

Thanks a mill...

I call shenanagins..