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torn between two girls

  • 21-11-2010 8:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    I was in a relationship for 1.5 years - till she went back to her home country this summer for studying the next three years.

    We broke up around 2 months after she left - mostly my fault because I was depressed for a longer period of time and I behaved in a cold manner due to this towards her.
    We are still in contact regularly via Messenger and we both have still feelings for each other.

    To make things more complicated I have met a girl at work who fancies me and I also feel attracted to her.
    So am not sure what to do/ how to handle this as I am confused in regards to my feelings.


Comments

  • #2
    Pebbles!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 206 ✭✭Pebbles!


    Well it is perfectably understandable that you broke up. It is quite a long distance relationship when you are living in different countries. it doesn't mean ye don't love each other..but it is hard. did you consider moving over to where she is? or organise something to make it work?

    It's only natural to find somebody else where there is mutual feelings. You need to sort out if anything can happen with the girl who moved home. a year and a half is a long time to spend with somebody, if you really still love her I would try and sort something out, don't just throw your relationship away...you will always wonder what if...? If you realise than it will definately not work out then I would try any reduce the amount of contact with her to make it easier to move on, then persue the girl you work with.

    You should make sure you are fully over the girl before getting into a new relationship as you do not want to drag her into something.

    I think you have alot of thinking ahead of you. I know If I was in your position I'd be trying my best to be with the girl that moved.


  • #3
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    I'd actually say the relationship with the girl who's moved away is pretty much done. 3 years is a very long time to maintain a long distance relationship, and you've already broken up once already.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the feedback so far.

    First I planned to visit her in the August - but due to depressions - and she needed to learn for some other exams I have unfortunatly cancelled that - but think now perhaps to go for Christmas there.


    Moving there would be the easy part as I speak the language quite fluently (as my mother is from the same country) but normal wage levels are really really low - would earn around 800-1200 € in the best case with my qualifications (which would be around 1/4th - 1/5th of my current salary...) - unless perhaps working for a western company which would be perhaps willing to pay me a wage similiar to my current Irish or to the one of my own homecountry but this is a challenge...


    I hate the current situation :(

    cheers


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