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Would you...

  • 16-11-2010 1:11am
    #1
    wealthyman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 103 ✭✭


    Met a new guy recently. He seems nice personality wise and cute etc. I always become wary of guys who have being around abit you know with sexual partners. Anyway he has told me he can't remember how many guys he has being with and when asked he also said that he has had unprotected anal sex a couple of times when drunk...:eek::eek: This immediately set off alarm bells and turned me right off him, yep mentioned he was clean but how could I believe that. As he has engaged in this dangerous behaviour I really don't or can't see me ever being with him now, Would you guys feel the same?


Comments

  • #2
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,242 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    To be honest, I'd run a mile. But if you're interested in him, then insist on protection.


  • #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,156 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    wealthyman wrote: »
    Met a new guy recently. He seems nice personality wise and cute etc. I always become wary of guys who have being around abit you know with sexual partners. Anyway he has told me he can't remember how many guys he has being with and when asked he also said that he has had unprotected anal sex a couple of times when drunk...:eek::eek: This immediately set off alarm bells and turned me right off him, yep mentioned he was clean but how could I believe that. As he has engaged in this dangerous behaviour I really don't or can't see me ever being with him now, Would you guys feel the same?


    Hmm - probably yes but lets discuss it a bit more
    on the one hand he is honest, on the other his behaviour is quite risky - I think you are right and can you take any risks knowing that? perhaps tell him based on what he has said that you want to be sure that there are no risks to you and could he take full STI tests to guarantee he is clean before you do anything

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #4
    Dr. Baltar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭Dr. Baltar


    If you like him you like him. Personally, I'd go for it but do nothing sexual until there are STI test verification.


  • #5
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    wealthyman wrote: »
    Met a new guy recently. He seems nice personality wise and cute etc. I always become wary of guys who have being around abit you know with sexual partners. Anyway he has told me he can't remember how many guys he has being with and when asked he also said that he has had unprotected anal sex a couple of times when drunk...:eek::eek: This immediately set off alarm bells and turned me right off him, yep mentioned he was clean but how could I believe that. As he has engaged in this dangerous behaviour I really don't or can't see me ever being with him now, Would you guys feel the same?

    If you were straight/hetrosexual and this guy was a girl/woman you would have no concerns about the number of other men she would have been with, and would most likely have unprotected sex without a second thought.

    Is this because most gay people see themselves as the main source of infection and that straight people dont get sti's only gay people?

    My reply is not aimed at you directly op but more at everyone for contemplation and discussion. From years of watching people and their behaviour you were at much less risk tham most straight men and women that seem to think they are impervious to infection.


  • #6
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,156 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    foggy_lad wrote: »
    Is this because most gay people see themselves as the main source of infection and that straight people dont get sti's only gay people?
    No, it's because sexual health information and education is much more targeted at gay men then straight men - an example - Straight men don't get handed free condoms with information on STI clinics

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #7
    Dwn Wth Vwls
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 401 ✭✭Dwn Wth Vwls


    I guess my concern wouldn't be the information he has already supplied, but more about what isn't he telling you. People have a tendency to downplay things they know won't be well received. "A couple of times when drunk" could be an exaggeration, both in terms of frequency and sobriety. If you like him, tell him that you're going to get tested and ask him to come with you.


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