Fscking Nissans!

Owen

Doorbell just rang, Neighbours Tiida hatch had a flat, and could I change the spare for her. No prob, 10 minute job. 10 minutes my arse.

[rant on!]
First of all, getting the spare out was unnecessarily long due to the little screw in plate that holds the space saver in situe, I must have twisted the thing 40 times to get it out.

Then I went to undo the bolts while the wheel was on the ground. No way would they come out. Tried breaking the bond they had by slightly tightening/opening, nothing. Tried standing/jumping on the wheel brace, nothing. Eventually, tried just pulling the bar as hard as I could, and it bent. Tried again, and the socket for the nut at the end of the bar actually split open and was no more good.

Ended up heating the hell out of the bolts with a heatgun, and then forcing them out with a socket set and a long extension arm. Discovered that the Nissan main dealer who'd changed the tires recently, decided to put the nuts on with tread lock too! 30 minutes later, wheel changed, wheel brace broken and bent, and my will to live gone down the swanny!
[/rant off]

Mr Benevolent

I usually end up jumping on the wheel brace to get the nuts off.

Owen

Tried that too (Just edited my post to include that info), but christ, who thought Loctite would be a good idea, and then torque the bolts to within an inch of being stripped?

pajero12

PaintDoctor wrote: »

Tried that too (Just edited my post to include that info), but christ, who thought Loctite would be a good idea, and then torque the bolts to within an inch of being stripped?

Not really the Nissans fault though..Just stupid mechanics

a_v525

Next time...


dont answer the door

Owen

pajero12 wrote: »

Not really the Nissans fault though..Just stupid mechanics

The other sh*t is Nissan's fault though, a 5 minute arm wrenching ordeal to get at the spare, and a crappy wheel brace which broke. Guess I should have seen the Tiida badge and ran a mile!

EPM

Hmmm...you should've heated the fcekin thing in conjunction with a gallon of petrol

peasant

What class of eejit would use threadlock on wheel bolts?

Must have walked past a display of "Popular Mechanics" once and fancied himself a proper engineer

sogood

Possible topic for a new thread, what apparently simple tasks have you undertaken, only to have them become the job from hell?

I will hold my hand up and fess up to falling victim to such a fiasco. I was changing a half shaft on my Sierra, many years ago. The offending part had gone awol at the diff and needed to be replaced. Off to the breakers, after a lift had been sorted, picked up the shaft which was ready and waiting and back home to do this fairly simple swap. That's when I first learned that the two half shafts on my Sierra were different lengths as the diff is slightly offset! And yes, you've guessed, I had the wrong "half"!!

Organise another lift and back to the breakers to get the proper shaft.

Back home and up with the car, wheel off and tackle the big nut on the centre/end of the shaft. Very tight. Extension on the wrench, still very tight. Judicious whacking with a lump hammer, still very tight. Jumping up and down on the extension bar, skin my ankles twice, still very tight.

Enter the postman on his rounds, a fine strapping specimen of manhood, no doubt assisted by his many hours sitting in the relative comfort of his van. Together, eventually, our combined weight on the extension had the desired effect and the nut began to turn, slowly. Eventually it was loose enough for me to continue alone, which is just as well as it saved a small part of my embarassment. The nut turned all right, and turned and turned, but was going nowhere. Closer inspection revealed that the threads were sheared, on both the nut and the shaft!! Who'd have thought that the nut screwed on ANTI CLOCKWISE!!!

Cut, saw, curse, hack, curse, grind, more cursing and finally the offending part was removed. Now just to drop in the replacement and put the nut back on. The nut I didn't have, that is. It was now just a sorry twisted, disfigured memory of its' former self. back to the breakers for the nut ( that I should have been replacing with a new one anyway) and back home again to finish the job. End result, what should have been straightforward and taken an hour and a half max, was a skin shredding, puffing and wheezing, cursing and swearing, repeated trips to the breakers 5 hour plus, marathon.

There are others, like when I owned a Fiat 850!! But thats another story...........

JamesBond2010

ya there is dopes around like that stupid mechanic. could be worse though could have been a car with those locking nuts. & they have not got a clue where the nut is. put balls looking for the thing.

a_v525

sogood wrote: »

like when I owned a Fiat 850!! But thats another story...........

Oh please, do indulge....

Eph1958

PaintDoctor wrote: »

Tried that too (Just edited my post to include that info), but christ, who thought Loctite would be a good idea, and then torque the bolts to within an inch of being stripped?

There are times when you simply don't want the nut vibrating loose under any circumstances, which Loctite is made for. There are low-strength threadlockers though which will disassemble with relative ease. Seems like a bit of overkill for wheel nuts though........unless of course you have to take it back to the dealer......then the reason might be coming clearer??

DublinDilbert

PaintDoctor wrote: »

Doorbell just rang, Neighbours Tiida hatch had a flat, and could I change the spare for her. No prob, 10 minute job. 10 minutes my arse.

[rant on!]
First of all, getting the spare out was unnecessarily long due to the little screw in plate that holds the space saver in situe, I must have twisted the thing 40 times to get it out.

Then I went to undo the bolts while the wheel was on the ground. No way would they come out. Tried breaking the bond they had by slightly tightening/opening, nothing. Tried standing/jumping on the wheel brace, nothing. Eventually, tried just pulling the bar as hard as I could, and it bent. Tried again, and the socket for the nut at the end of the bar actually split open and was no more good.

Ended up heating the hell out of the bolts with a heatgun, and then forcing them out with a socket set and a long extension arm. Discovered that the Nissan main dealer who'd changed the tires recently, decided to put the nuts on with tread lock too! 30 minutes later, wheel changed, wheel brace broken and bent, and my will to live gone down the swanny!
[/rant off]

No good-deed ever goes unpunished!!!!

I always carry a breaker bar + impact sockets in the boot, wouldn't even waste my time with the crappy wheel braces supplied with cars! I've never seen a wheel brace supplied with a car that works.

I also have an electric impact gun from Aldi/Lidl, its gotten me out of trouble so many times. My sister had a Peugeot with damaged locking nut and the breaker bar just wanted to slip off it, with the impact gun i could put my weight behind it, took it off in 10 seconds! well worth €20!

MetzgerMeister

I got a big torque wrench from Lidl a few months ago. That with the extension bar and socket that come with it is superb for leverage. A hell of a lot better than any wheels brace!

a_v525

Lidl ftw!!!

Carson10

NISSANS! :-0

New micra ***puke
New Juke ***puke
Tidia oooh *****
Primera boring
x-trail 10 years to late

ianobrien

Carson10 wrote: »

NISSANS! :-0

New micra ***puke
New Juke ***puke
Tidia oooh *****
Primera boring
x-trail 10 years to late

Ah, they stopped building the Primera 5 YEARS AGO! Also, the pre '02 Primera was said to have the best handling in it's class and was super reliable (even if it did look dull)

Edit - Also, the X-Trails came out in the early naughties (I saw a '01 last week). If your logic it true, what soft roader was on the market in '91?

Gary ITR

I had a chap who is a bit part presenter on RTE knock at my door once upon a time looking for a jump start, he was seeing a neighbour of mine. As I hooked up my van to his car he said 'you know who I am don't you?'

Owen

You're kidding me Oncle, I'd have given him a weird look, slapped him in the face, said 'don't do that', and then carried on as if nothing happened.

DublinDilbert

DublinDilbert wrote: »

I've never seen a wheel brace supplied with a car that works.

I've never encountered one that doesn't to be honest.

Gary ITR

PaintDoctor wrote: »

You're kidding me Oncle, I'd have given him a weird look, slapped him in the face, said 'don't do that', and then carried on as if nothing happened.

I don't know how I held the laugh in tbh although you're idea is probably what I should have done

dr.fuzzenstein

Onkle wrote: »

I don't know how I held the laugh in tbh although you're idea is probably what I should have done

Should have driven him to the Police and said "This Man Has Amnesia!"

Danbo!

On the bright side, at least you would have looked all tough bending a wheel brace.

dr.fuzzenstein

Danbo! wrote: »

On the bright side, at least you would have looked all tough bending a wheel brace.

Only if you can bend it all the way into a pretzel.

DancingPriest

Onkle wrote: »

I don't know how I held the laugh in tbh although you're idea is probably what I should have done

I laughed so hard the neighbors banged the wal:P:P:Pl.

Owen

Danbo! wrote: »

On the bright side, at least you would have looked all tough bending a wheel brace.

If you ever meet me, you'd realise pretty quickly there's no way in this life I'd ever look remotely tough

2 stroke

Years back, I was transferring the engine from a crashed fiesta into mine. Removed both engines friday after work, cleaned myself up and headed to pub. Returned to the job next morning and put in the wrong engine. I didn't notice my mistake untill I tried to start it. I was removing it again, when I realised I had also forgot to change the clutch.

Mr Benevolent

2 stroke wrote: »

Years back, I was transferring the engine from a crashed fiesta into mine. Removed both engines friday after work, cleaned myself up and headed to pub. Returned to the job next morning and put in the wrong engine. I didn't notice my mistake untill I tried to start it. I was removing it again, when I realised I had also forgot to change the clutch.

Arrgh!

sogood

2 stroke wrote: »

Years back, I was transferring the engine from a crashed fiesta into mine. Removed both engines friday after work, cleaned myself up and headed to pub. Returned to the job next morning and put in the wrong engine. I didn't notice my mistake untill I tried to start it. I was removing it again, when I realised I had also forgot to change the clutch.

Technically your job went well, it was just the wrong job!! But well done in the "Jobs going wrong" stakes!