How to let a somebody down...

LegacyUser

Hi,

I met a girl last friday week in a bar, we danced a bit, bantered a bit and we exchanged numbers.

So i took her out to dinner last Thurday, dinner went good and had a few drinks in a pub after.

Although everything went well and we both had fun, i dont see anything worthwile between us. There was a couple of things about her personality that i wouldn't think that would work well with me if it went further. Obviously i didnt give her the impression we wouldnt get along so i'd say she'd be v suprised if i didnt contact her or want to meet up with her again.

She texted me the next day, thanking me for dinner and she said she had a great time. I text back saying i'm glad you had fun. I'm expecting her to text me in the next couple of days and i dont know the best way to respond.

In the past i would have just ignored the girl's texts if i didnt want to go further (easy way out), which is an ass move and it blew up in my face a couple of weeks ago where i ran into a girl who i didnt text back after everything seemed hunky dory and she was not too pleased to see me.

So moral of the story, went out with a girl on one date, i dont like her as much as she likes me, how do i handle this without hurting her?


Do i ignore her texts?
I'm unlikely to see her again but its an ass move and she'd be pissed off.

Do i make up some story about getting back together with an ex-gf?
She'll know im lying, probably as bad as ignoring her.

Do i tell her the truth that i don't see anything between us?
That could get weird but at least its honest.


Is there a better way? How have you handled it if you didnt want to see a guy? How would you like it to be handled if you were the girl?

Thanks

Ickle Magoo

Moved to PI...

THEZAPPA

I would tell her that she is a lovely person but I don't see anything serious happening with us.

Dont just ignore her....very bad move.

Least if you tell her the truth she will be happy..not just saying oh right another one of those guys.


I'd like to be told the truth anyway.

mrpink6789

Yeah man just text her saying you had a really nice time but you dont see anything down the road. Think about it if you liked a girl and she didnt text you back, you'd be pretty pi**ed off. Better to know and just get on with life.

LegacyUser

i did the internet dating thing a few years back. among many great dates that never went anywhere, i had one guy tell me straight out (in a very nice way of course) that he wasn't feeling it. we'd only had one date and he told me over text so there was no embarrassing moment, and i actually had a lot of respect for him that he had the decency to say it straight out rather than fall off the radar with no explanation.

LighterGuy

Just say you dont think anything will happen between you and her. Phase it in your own words.

Not only would you feel like you did the right thing but she gets clousure too

Fittle

I echo what others have said..PLEASE reply to her or she will be on Boards next Thursday, saying she had a wonderful date last week with a really cool guy and now he hasn't written back to her and she's very confused:rolleyes:

Just say that you're not ready for something right now, but that she's lovely etc etc...it will take you 10 seconds, and will give you both closure.
Best of luck OP.

LegacyUser

hi,
as the above posters have said, i would tell her as honestly as possible that you dont see it working out, I personally would much prefer that, and at least (maybe after the intial reject) she will thank you for honesty and having the balls to say it.

I recently had two dates with a nice man, who pulled the ignoring stunt with me, he was ringing and texting for about a month, then after the second date, nothing!

i emailed him, and he admitted as you had that he didnt know how to say it too me, he had some story about getting back with his ex, i dont believe it, but at least i got my answer!

he apologised to me, for beign an ass and kept saying he wasnt a player etc.....i just said thanks thats all i wanted from him, and wished him luck.

Honesty is the best, be decent and respectful, but yes just say your not feeling it!