Serious anger management problem

outofcontro

Hi,
I am writing here because I seriously need help. Spent last week out sick from work after seriously verbally attacking a colleague - fifth time in six years (am eight years there). Will lose my job if if happens again - defo. What worries me more is that I cannot control it- genuinely thought i was fine when speaking to her- good friends who have my best interests at heart have told me I was scary.
Went to doctor afterwards you gave me a sleep medication and blood pressure reading was 220 over something. have been at doctor several times in last week for further monitoring - back to normal now.
I spent some time in counselling over last two years and it worked but had stopped recently because of cost and i was feeling so good. Do not as a rule lose the head. am not like this in my private life.
have incredibly good friends on this issue who mind me after episodes , no family support. I can provide a why to last week's issue - had been waking up crying etc due to a family issue- family is incredibly dysfunctional and i keep my distance but got sucked back in because of an event last week. Have not used this as an excuse at work as don't really think it is good enough.
Want to go to work tomorrow but will know be on a knife edge. (actually love job and am good at it)
Plan is

- do a check list every morning on how i feel - able to work or not (all last week i was congratulating myself for hanging on in there- would have been better in bed)

- weekly counselling for ever if necessary

- sleeping tablets

I would really like to talk to someone who has come out the other side of this

Please, please help

Ickle Magoo

Hi there,

I've split this post off rather than you having to piggy-back onto the end of a 5yr old thread so you can get your own advice thread...

All the best.