FB dilemma

LC2010HIS

Ok
Theres no girl A or guy B in this so thats a plus ,right?


Basic Question: Is it out of line to add an ex friend/guy you dated for a short time ,on Facebook? If you had an add from an ex after a year of silence what would you think?

Kinda thinking it wouldnt be a big deal since anyone adds anyone on facebook now so.. .. ..

Just answer this question without bringing other threads into it

LC2010HIS

Im a girl


Hes a boy




:rolleyes:

Kimono-Girl

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Ok
Basic Question: Is it out of line to add an ex friend/guy you dated for a short time ,on Facebook?

Yes in certain circumstances i would feel it is out of line, you broke up for a reason and unless you were friends outside of facebook i cannot see why you would add them on facebook...

LC2010HIS wrote: »

If you had an add from an ex after a year of silence what would you think?

i would think 'we haven't spoken in a year and we now have nothing in common' so i would click that handy *ignore* button!

jubella

Just add him, the worst he can do is ignore it

SugarHigh

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Im a girl


Hes a boy




:rolleyes:

Why did you use the sarcasm smilie?
Are you not a girl or is he not a boy?

alwaysadub

I'd be a bit wary of an ex who i hadn't spoken to since we broke up adding me tbh.

LC2010HIS

SugarHigh wrote: »

Why did you use the sarcasm smilie?
Are you not a girl or is he not a boy?

I am a girl

He is a boy

LC2010HIS

alwaysadub wrote: »

I'd be a bit wary of an ex who i hadn't spoken to since we broke up adding me tbh.

We were good friends though..

easyeason3

LC2010HIS wrote: »

We were good friends though..

The word in bold print answers the question for you.

mink_man

well, you said not to take into account other threads..

....so what did I do, I looked at your other threads. Forget about him.

LC2010HIS

easyeason3 wrote: »

The word in bold print answers the question for you.

I recall him saying when I was ready to be a friend . . .let him know.. Dunno how that offer stands now though :P

alwaysadub

LC2010HIS wrote: »

We were good friends though..

But you haven't spoken to him since? If ye still see each other around, or know that if ye did you'd be able to stop and have a chat, then maybe that's different.

But if ye haven't seen or spoken since, he'll probably be thinking it's a bit strange..

Kimono-Girl

LC2010HIS wrote: »

I recall him saying when I was ready to be a friend . . .let him know.. Dunno how that offer stands now though :P

i don't think it was an offer to be taken up, sounds to me more like him trying to be nice at the time!

easyeason3

LC2010HIS wrote: »

I recall him saying when I was ready to be a friend . . .let him know.. Dunno how that offer stands now though :P

Ok, that meant one of the following:
1) You scare me, so I'm letting you know in a nice & gentle way to stay away from me but I'm hoping by giving you a glimmer of hope that we can be friends I won't find my pet dog in a stew you prepared.

OR

2) When you want to throw a friendly shag my way then let me know. Just once you know that's all it is.


Move on OP, you probably have enough friends without adding him to the list.

The Waltzing Consumer

easyeason3 wrote: »

Ok, that meant one of the following:
1) You scare me, so I'm letting you know in a nice & gentle way to stay away from me but I'm hoping by giving you a glimmer of hope that we can be friends I won't find my pet dog in a stew you prepared.

OR

2) When you want to throw a friendly shag my way then let me know. Just once you know that's all it is.


Move on OP, you probably have enough friends without adding him to the list.

One is not very realistic
Two is pretty realistic
3) Girl is still attracted to boy who broke up with her and is trying to become his friend again in the hope they can patch things up.

Feck it OP, go for it, you might regret not doing anything, you have nothing to lose

LC2010HIS

Horsefumbler wrote: »

You want to see how he's getting on don't you ya nosy bitch

Just kinda thought despite the whole relationship thing, we were good friends and it was a shame at the time ..

Ha nosy.. :cool:perhaps

LC2010HIS

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

One is not very realistic
Two is pretty realistic
3) Girl is still attracted to boy who broke up with her and is trying to become his friend again in the hope they can patch things up.

Feck it OP, go for it, you might regret not doing anything, you have nothing to lose

But I also do not wanna give him the impression Im gagging for him which Im not (anymore) I dont want to seem desperate. I think Ive reliesed I missed the friendship more than the romance to be honest.

easyeason3

LC2010HIS wrote: »

But I also do not wanna give him the impression Im gagging for him which Im not (anymore) I dont want to seem desperate. I think Ive reliesed I missed the friendship more than the romance to be honest.

BS.
You obviously still have feelings for him in some way whether you want to admit it or not.

As I said already if he wanted to be your friend then he would have added you already. Just leave it alone.

The Waltzing Consumer

LC2010HIS wrote: »

But I also do not wanna give him the impression Im gagging for him which Im not (anymore) I dont want to seem desperate. I think Ive reliesed I missed the friendship more than the romance to be honest.

Well, you have said the line EVERY guy would never want to hear. This should answer your dilemma. Don't add him if that is how you feel.

Jaxxy

I'm going to assume you're very young OP, because I'm not sure I know very many mature adults who would ask for validation, twice, on a total non-issue.

If you want to get back in touch, bite the bullet and add him. If you only want to get back in touch because you're annoyed he hasn't initiated contact first himself, then you're probably only looking for what you think you can't have. Then when you have it you'll cop on and remember why you broke up in the first place.

Make the decision, one way or the other. You obviously want to do it, otherwise you wouldn't be back here, in AH of all places, asking the same question.

LC2010HIS

The Waltzing Consumer wrote: »

Well, you have said the line EVERY guy would never want to hear. This should answer your dilemma. Don't add him if that is how you feel.

..How so? He broke up with me? And tried to keep me hanging as a friend?

SV

LC2010HIS wrote: »

..How so? He broke up with me? And tried to keep me hanging as a friend?

Add him, see how it goes.

yeah he'll be suspicious but sure fúck it like, it's for your happiness. Always worth a risk.

easyeason3

LC2010HIS wrote: »

..How so? He broke up with me? And tried to keep me hanging as a friend?

This is really a thread for PI.

LC2010HIS

SV wrote: »

Add him, see how it goes.

yeah he'll be suspicious but sure fúck it like, it's for your happiness. Always worth a risk.

But from a guys POV - what would you honestly think??
I dont want him to think im pining for him.. Just that we clicked as friends..

SV

LC2010HIS wrote: »

But from a guys POV - what would you honestly think??
I dont want him to think im pining for him.. Just that we clicked as friends..

I wouldn't think much of it but I don't think I think like most lads, from my own experience anyway =/


Whatever he thinks he'll be sure of the truth after a while anyway won't he?
Swallow your ego ta fúck and add!

The Waltzing Consumer

LC2010HIS wrote: »

But from a guys POV - what would you honestly think??
I dont want him to think im pining for him.. Just that we clicked as friends..

I would think you have feelings for him still if it was me. There is one reason I would get back in touch with an ex, and there is only one thought if an ex got back in touch with me.

LC2010HIS

SV wrote: »

Whatever he thinks he'll be sure of the truth after a while anyway won't he?

How do you mean ?:)

SV

LC2010HIS wrote: »

How do you mean ?:)

Well if he thinks you're pining for him in that way then once you make your intentions clear(in that you miss him as a friend) then he'll know.

Don't worry about what he initially thinks, it's not important.

LC2010HIS

SV wrote: »

Well if he thinks you're pining for him in that way then once you make your intentions clear(in that you miss him as a friend) then he'll know.

Don't worry about what he initially thinks, it's not important.

So I'll just bite the bullet then?
Play it cool?

00112984

If anyone has a friend on FB named Hontas can you please let me know? I want to poke a Hontas.

Novella

If you want to add him, just add him. If you don't want him to think you're adding him 'cause you're gagging for him, send him one of those messages with the add, like - "Hey, been a long time since we had a chat. Hope you're doing okay." or whatever.

But seriously, it's just Facebook. What's the worst thing that could happen? He won't wanna be your friend? Oh, no... You're not friends now anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

SV

LC2010HIS wrote: »

So I'll just bite the bullet then?
Play it cool?

That's what I'd do anyway

LC2010HIS

Well, this thread is about to get a whole lot more interesting...
He contacted me. An email.
Now what? :mad:
Im with someone now,

Careful what you wish for eh?

Help?!?

alwaysadub

Say hello.
Tell him you've met someone.

Simple!

tricks

Eh talk to him??

What's the point in being a 12 year old about it.

admiralofthefleet

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Ok
Theres no girl A or guy B in this so thats a plus ,right?


Basic Question: Is it out of line to add an ex friend/guy you dated for a short time ,on Facebook? If you had an add from an ex after a year of silence what would you think?

Kinda thinking it wouldnt be a big deal since anyone adds anyone on facebook now so.. .. ..

Just answer this question without bringing other threads into it

just make sure to publish it so we can get a bonus

spider guardian

what did he say? I MUST KNOW!

Novella

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Well, this thread is about to get a whole lot more interesting...
He contacted me. An email.
Now what? :mad:
Im with someone now,

Careful what you wish for eh?

Help?!?

What do you even mean by now what?! You're with someone else. You can e-mail this guy back and be friends, tell him you're seeing someone, whatever. You can break up with your current boyfriend if you actually wanna be with someone else. Seriously, this stuff isn't rocket science.

biko

Thread moved from AH to PI.
PI rules apply henceforth.

Exclamation Marc

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Well, this thread is about to get a whole lot more interesting...
He contacted me. An email.
Now what? :mad:
Im with someone now,

Careful what you wish for eh?

Help?!?

To be honest if an issue thats relevant is "I'm with someone now" then just cut all contact. If you think that your being with someone is a relevant point in your relationship going forward with this guy, then its not really worth it is it?

From what you're saying, you're implying that there's more than just friendship involved in the e-mail he sent you., otherwise you'd just be mates and not really make an issue of it. Would your other half be happy that you're restarting some sort of relationship (friendship or otherwise) with an ex? I doubt it.

LC2010HIS

Hey guys.
Thought id never hear from that guy again. Some of you, you know the score. I was lost for months, posting threads, looking for answers.
I spent so long wishing for something, so much with all my heart..But I was given something much more benefical. The power of delete. And thats what I did.
Pressed delete. I am so happy right now, and no ghost or fantasy is gonna ruin it.
Id just like to thanks Personal Issues forum and everyone who gave their 2cents for having gods patience with me.