Do Men Like Women Who Like Men Who...

Motley Crue

Do Men like Women who play the role of 'Den Mother' to them? In 2010 is it still PC to think that the average man secretly wants a woman he can be proud to introduce to his mother - not the kind of woman he dates, but the kind of woman he wants to marry and have a family with?

Equally, do Women like Men who treat them mean, keep them waiting and treat them with little to no respect. Is this whole thing about "women liking bastards" actually true?

I'd love to get a few perspectives here on what people think about this from both the male and female perspective, regardless of age or where in your current relationship you might or might not be.

Latchy

With men on women , slave in the kitchen ,whore in bed springs to mind and the general consensus seems to be that yes , women love complete B'stads

As for bringing above home to mother ...that's another thing

bonerm

Women will like whatever I tell them to like.

MagicMarker

I'm going to murder you..... you woman!

woolymammoth

i think a lot of women secretly love a good b@stard. My view is supported by my friend who openly tells women he's a bad b@stard and that he's no good for them, after which they practically fall in love with him! the problem with these women, not all women, is when they think they have him, they try to change him, or hang on to him, and he tells them to f*ck off. Then they accuse him of being a b@stard. It's quite a fun cycle to watch.

marxcoo

define bastard.

Ruu_Old

I once ate a copy of Loaded for a bet. :cool:

Motley Crue

Ruu wrote: »

I once ate a copy of Loaded for a bet. :cool:

I'm sure that this issue has been raised in other places then the IT Crowd, I just used that phrase because I remember it from the show

I think many women can confuse arrogance/bad boy for confidence and that's where it comes from. Likewise there are insecure men who see that being a doormat isn't getting them anywhere so they turn into arrogant gits and think "oh well this works"

sensibleken

I don't like women to be 'den mothers' at all. Im more into equality, division of labour and all that. I want women to be themselves. that being said I do like spoilling my ladyrfiend

Absurdum

women want a bastard so that they can change him into a goody two shoes

Funkfield

marxcoo wrote: »

define bastard.

Bastard

chin_grin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwAFDlMsXhA

Ickle Magoo

Assertiveness, self assurance and independence are popularly viewed as attractive qualities in a man - I think there are women who either can't tell the difference between players and genuine guys or who want to take on some kind of "taming" challenge.

I think most women like good guys, they just sometimes aren't very good at weeding out the bastards while still getting an assertive, self-assured and independent man - added to the fact that bastards are pretty good at pretending they are all of those things and while hiding that they are bastards...

Cheap Thrills!

Wouldn't entertain a bastard. Life's too short !!!

WTF is a 'Den Mother' ?

PirateShampoo

Its a lose lose situation, for them to meet would mean 1 of them isnt in the Kitchen.

Absurdum

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Wouldn't entertain a bastard. Life's too short !!!

WTF is a 'Den Mother' ?

make us a cup of tea there will ya love?

Jaxxy

A lady in the street but a freak in the bed is the saying that springs to my mind!

With regard to women wanting/liking bastards, well I can only give my own opinion on that one. If a man was to adopt the "treat 'em mean" attitude with me he'd be told where to go. It works with some women, it depends on the individual. I do know girls who take it and keep coming back for more. That kind of makes me sad.

As for Den Mothers, I suppose I'd be somewhat like that, I go into "maternal mode" when someone I care about is sick or needs looking after. That would probably be the extent of it though because I hate cleaning/keeping house and all that lark, have no intention of settling down anytime soon either.

Latchy

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Wouldn't entertain a bastard. Life's too short !!!

WTF is a 'Den Mother' ?

silverspoon

Ah, the old 'women love a b@stard' nugget. I have no idea being frank; I have never been with one and maybe it's just because I'm lucky.

I think that there are girls, especially younger ones, who just love drama. And you get shedloads of it with a prick. I can remember the whinging from my school days about boys being dickheads and guess what he's done now blah blah blah.
Also. Pricks are a challenge. It's a test of how attractive/good at sex/other you are if you can 'get' him. Which, clearly, is a load of old shit but again, it's drama, and a teenage girl beelines to drama like a fly to horseshit.
Then once these girls become older and less idiotic, and less playing-at-boyfriends-and-girlfriends, b@stards become less alluring and interesting, and start looking for characteristics they would want in a person they could seriously see themselves wanting to be around for extended periods of time.

I'm sure it's pretty much the same for young guys; as a teenager/young'un you're really only playing at relationships.

I don't know if it's PC to say that men are looking for a different kind of woman to marry than who he would date when younger, but I think it's true, on both ends. I'm not sure why it wouldn't be PC to say that??

Princess Peach

Motley Crue wrote: »

Equally, do Women like Men who treat them mean, keep them waiting and treat them with little to no respect. Is this whole thing about "women liking bastards" actually true?

I would have said no before, but I've realised recently that this was my ex, and we were on and off together for about a year! But never again!

Not to sound vain, but I'm a lovely girl and the kind that boyfriend's mothers would love, but he wasn't proud of me at all and kept me very seperate from his family.

I am a bit of a den mother, as you say. I love to cook and make tea for my man, and make him little presents and things. But it wasn't appreciated!

So point is, everyone is different. Rant over.

Cheap Thrills!

Absurdum wrote: »

make us a cup of tea there will ya love?

Ah right! A doormat!! I don't cook or shop sorry!

yizorselves

To me it seems that guys who think that "Women love bastards" are the guys who cant get the women at all.

If there is such a thing as women who go for the bastards, then those women are complete airheads. I dont buy into this way of thinking that its in womens make up to find a bad boy and want to change him.

Be yourself but dont be a complete pushover

FatherLen

Princess Peach wrote: »

I I love to cook and make tea for my man

thats what i like to hear

PeterIanStaker

Depends on how much of a drama queen she is.

Motley Crue

I first heard the phrase Den Mother in the film Dawn of the Dead, from 1978, which really sorts of makes the female character look like a second class citizen - and that's part of the point of the film and the language - but check out 4.00 onwards anyway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZIFAvUgc4U

stovelid

Sometimes unattractive behaviour and traits only surface after the honeymoon period of a relationship and people can be already smitten and willing to hang on and try and rectify it or endure it while hoping for better.

Sometimes it might even be a case of relationship dynamics where people are horrible to each other without necessarily being bad people.

Sometimes it can be a male 'bastard' exploiting a woman's low self-esteem or vice-versa.

Sometimes maybe the woman does like bad boys.

But it's a case of the usual simplistic, bitter shite of the I got knocked back at a night club by some bitch variety to say all women like bastards.

colc1

Motley Crue wrote: »

Do Men like Women who play the role of 'Den Mother' to them? In 2010 is it still PC to think that the average man secretly wants a woman he can be proud to introduce to his mother - not the kind of woman he dates, but the kind of woman he wants to marry and have a family with?

Equally, do Women like Men who treat them mean, keep them waiting and treat them with little to no respect. Is this whole thing about "women liking bastards" actually true?

I'd love to get a few perspectives here on what people think about this from both the male and female perspective, regardless of age or where in your current relationship you might or might not be.

As a bloke with a fair bit of experience women defo like bastards all the actual nice guys I know are pretty much single... I dont know what a Den Mother is? Of course he wants his parents to get on with her...not just his mother but its irrelevant whether they like each other to me as long as its civil..to answer your question its only important if I like the girl really... Where are these nice girls anyway btw???

Gunsfortoys

Sweet jesus the feminists will have stubby fingers with all these threads going around.:D

Lux23

I like messing around with them alright. I am a bigger bitch then any of the so called players ive met lately though.

But when I grow up and start behaving like an adult I would like to meet a nice but assertive man.

alwaysadub

I have been with a "treat them mean keep them keen" type before back when i was young and naive. Wasn't looking for anything out of them myself so wasn't exactly bothered.
These days though,i prefere for there to be mutual respect.

I definitely don't mother men either. If they're sick i'll look after them, but other than that, they should be well able to mind themselves!

Princess Peach

stovelid wrote: »

Sometimes unattractive behaviour and traits only surface after the honeymoon period of a relationship and people can be already smitten and willing to hang on and try and rectify it or endure it while hoping for better.

This is exactly it! Like me and my ex, and many of my friends who have bastard boyfriends, it didn't start out that way. He comes across as a really nice guy, but once he "has" you, and you love him, he thinks there's no reason to treat you well anymore? Women don't fall in love with the bad guy, some of them just become a bad guy and you're in love with him then and don't want to leave him, or you don't want to be alone.

I don't know any girl who is in a relationship with a guy who treated her badly from the first date. So no I don't think girls go for the treat them mean guys, it just develops into that.

stovelid

The problem with the women like bastards thesis is not that women don't go out with bastards (because they do) but that I assume that a lot end up with bastards inadvertently and put up with it whether through love or optimism. That, however, does not equate to the majority of women going around specifically looking for bastards to have relationships with.

Micky Dolenz

No one likes a bastard.

marzic

... so thats what its called, 'den mother'. I think mummy's boys would like it, me? it drives me nuts if the mrs tries to fix my collar in public or treat me like i'm helpless when i'm sick or whatever? maybe I'm just a hard cnut:D

Johro

stovelid wrote: »

The problem with the women like bastards thesis is not that women don't go out with bastards (because they do) but that I assume that a lot end up with bastards inadvertently and put up with it whether through love or optimism. That, however, does not equate to the majority of women going around specifically looking for bastards to have relationships with.

Or through feeling sorry for them, as in 'aw he can't help it ,his dad was a bastard to him' or something along those lines. Seen that a lot. I don't think any self respecting woman wants a bastard. Or a doormat. I'd imagine they'd want a guy who's capable, confident, kind without being a pushover.
In my experience girls/women who have been abused, or badly treated to the extent that they have low self esteem (by, let's face it, bastards) tend to gravitate to bastards.
Also, bastards look out for them. It's like they have victim radar.

mikom

Motley Crue wrote: »

Do Men Like Women Who Like Men Who...

Always should be someone you really laaaaave.....

Dudess

Most women probably wouldn't find a guy who's a right doormat attractive, but that doesn't mean they'd make a point of going for a bad boy. Sure, I know women who went through a phase of "bad boys" but they were teenagers and then grew up.

Earthhorse

stovelid wrote: »

The problem with the women like bastards thesis is not that women don't go out with bastards (because they do) but that I assume that a lot end up with bastards inadvertently and put up with it whether through love or optimism.

How do you end up with some inadvertently? I don't believe most bastards are all that good at hiding it either when everyone else can see it plain as day, which isn't to say that some aren't very good at just that.

spinandscribble

From what i've seen most people seem to have bad boy/girls in their teen/early 20s as a stepping stone to learning about relationships.

But I think once you've had a good bf/gf you're less likely to settle for mind game playing asses who play it mean to keep ya keen. And if you do, knowingly, well then there's noone to blame but yourself.

The problem with some people (and I say people because its not a specific female gender problem) is they seem to like the drama/chase/challenge or going out with bastards/bitches and keep repeating the cycle over and over again. maybe its a self esteem problem on their part or they only like what they can't have, I don't get it tbh.

I agree these bastard/bitch types feel drawn to weaker individuals who are more likely to put up with their drama.

alwaysadub

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

No one likes a bastard.

You'd be surprised. There are some people who'd see it as a challenge-change them from a bastard to a decent person.

spinandscribble

alwaysadub wrote: »

You'd be surprised. There are some people who'd see it as a challenge-change them from a bastard to a decent person.

that old gem "yeah i know he said this or did that but i think deep down he's actually a nice guy, just noone understands him like i dooooo...." :rolleyes:

alwaysadub

spinandscribble wrote: »

that old gem "yeah i know he said this or did that but i think deep down he's actually a nice guy, just noone understands him like i dooooo...." :rolleyes:

Yep them types. Luckily i haven't met too many of them, but they are out there alright.