BF looking at photos of ex

LegacyUser

Clicked into the history on our laptop tonight and saw a long list of facebook photos of my bf's ex. We are the only two with access to the laptop so I know that it was him.

We are together 2.5 yeara, living together 1. In all that time he hasn't spoken to her and hadn't for some time before that. He told me they had tried being friends but that she couldn't accept it was over and in the end he just phased her out.

I don't understand why he would be looking at these photos, should I be worried he is still carrying a flame for his ex?

pennylaner

I wouldn't be too worried. Are they friends now? Do you feel threatened by her?

Zen65

lucy_lou2010 wrote: »

I don't understand why he would be looking at these photos, should I be worried he is still carrying a flame for his ex?

Curiosity would be a good reason. Facebook provides a means to check up and see how your ex's are doing without them knowing. I think it's presumptuous to think it's any other reason, unless you had more evidence than that.

Be at peace,

Z

calibelle

I look at ex's photos on fb sometimes. Mainly to see what they are up to now, if there is anyone special in their life and what they look like these days.

Dont worry about it, its just normal curiosity!!

Sauve

I wouldn't be too bothered about it either - like another poster said I'm sure it's just innocent curiosity, we all like to hear what people from our past are up to these days.
Checking computer histories is dangerous territory - look at all the unnecessary doubt and upset it has caused you x

iguana

It's most likely just simple curiosity. An ex of mine added me as a Facebook friend and I did have a look through his albums. I have no sexual/romantic interest in him whatsoever but was a little curious about how he was getting on or if he was still hanging out with such and such, etc. And the pictures just reinforced any feelings of meh that I had. (Not that there was anything wrong with them, just that I have my life and no bloody way would I trade it.)

barleybooley

I'm in complete agreement with the others here OP, it really is as simple as curiosity. I saw that my ex had looked up loads of things about his ex and we were together a good while at that stage. It really was as innocent as curiosity, nothing to get excited about. We're all (I *hope*) guilty of Facebook stalking at some stage or another, so I really wouldn't give it another thought.

Supercell

OP I just did the same tonight!
I love my wife to bits but the old pictures with someone else were nice too.
It was a different time, its just a nice memory, my ex wasnt marriage material - pretty but a head wrecker and thought the ground welcomed her footsteps.

consultech

Zen65 wrote: »

Curiosity would be a good reason. Facebook provides a means to check up and see how your ex's are doing without them knowing. I think it's presumptuous to think it's any other reason, unless you had more evidence than that.

Be at peace,

Z

This. Lots of it.

Completely natural to curiously flick through the ex's photos to see if their happy/sad/fat/whatever.

Agree with everyone here. Checking up on people you used to know is natural and I for one do it a lot. Not just ex's either, but old school mates and acquatinences.

As for the large number of pictures in the LOG you will find that Facebook has that NEXT feature on pictures. It is rare anyone goes and looks at one picture, but usually ends up being drawn into viewing all the pictures in each album.

You have nothing to worry about. If however you found he was saving some of the pictures, and there was a certain pattern to the ones he was saving such as... say... only the ones of her in swimsuits and not in street clothes.... then you might have a cause for concern ....

... but simply browsing pics of old friends and flames is in and of itself innocent enough and I would not worry.

If however you simply can not get it off your mind and let go of it and you need to do something then if you really do have to do something about it I would advise instead of anything bad like confront him angrily or suspiciously on it I would suggest making it a shared interest... Ask him how his ex is getting on, whats she doing with herself now, has she met someone.... so on. Make it clear this is not something he should be doing furtively and secretly, but you are happy for him to openly find out how his exs are and you are even interested yourself.

LegacyUser

OP here, i just clicked in to find a site I had been looking at earlier in the week, wasn't snooping or anything.

The list was really long, he had looked at thirty-something pics, all ones that she was tagged in. I don't get the curiosity thing, my ex never even enters my head. I'm much happier now than I ever was with him so I don't have any inclination to be reminiscing.

Maybe my bf doesn't feel the same about me as I do about him

consultech

Have you any historical reason to be suspicious OP? Why did you "click into the history" on your laptop exactly?

pollypocket10

originalposter wrote: »

OP here, i just clicked in to find a site I had been looking at earlier in the week, wasn't snooping or anything.

The list was really long, he had looked at thirty-something pics, all ones that she was tagged in. I don't get the curiosity thing, my ex never even enters my head. I'm much happier now than I ever was with him so I don't have any inclination to be reminiscing.

Maybe my bf doesn't feel the same about me as I do about him

I don't know OP, I must say I have looked at pics on my ex's page before. I don't like to think what way my life would have turned up if we'd stayed together and it sort of makes me count my blessings I suppose. People have such random reasons for doing things, it could be something like that.

Zen65

originalposter wrote: »

Maybe my bf doesn't feel the same about me as I do about him

You're missing the point completely, OP.

It has nothing to do with his feelings for you, nor his feelings for her. Curiosity is an attraction in its own right. It is the same curiosity which might lead him to look at images of Ryan Tubridy's villa in France, or to watch Lady Gaga's latest video on YouTube, or to look at Facebook pages of Friends' Friends. There is no "reminiscing" going on, just curiosity. Thirty-something images can be viewed in under two minutes, so it is by no means an excessive number of images. I've looked at hundreds of FB images of friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends.... it takes almost no time to flick through a photo album. I certainly don't have feelings about the people in those photos, and it in no way reflects on my feelings for my partner or anybody else.

For you to judge his motives for viewing these images is most unhealthy, and if you consider that not one poster here supported your initial theory it's a fair indication that your thinking is a little distorted on the matter. Each of us deal with curiosity on a range of issues in different ways, and if this is done without malice, and without judging, it is a harmless activity.


Be at peace,


Z