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Am fairly sure I'm pregnant and father is an a#####e

  • 08-11-2010 5:46pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've really really made a huge mess and really need some advice.
    Basically a man who I thought was a friend (full story posted under is it possible to move on from friends if your interested) has been messing me about on and off for years and saying he wants a relationship when all he really wanted was sex. I've found out today I'm pregnant.
    I couldn't even consider a termination so it looks like I'm going to be stuck doing it alone an I'm basically in pieces!
    I already have a 11 year old from a previous relationship that didn't work out so I know how tough it will be, the worst thing is we both live in the same small town and he works here so there is no way of avoiding each other.
    I don't know what to do, should I tell him now or wait until it's too late for him to try to pressure me into a termination? I have this stupid stupid secret hope that he will want to be a father but it's unlikely!! I'm half way through a degree which I waited to do until my first child was old enough not to need me as much and now I feel like I'm stuck right back all those years ago and I'll never get to live my life for me.
    I don't know what I want to hear I just had to let off steam!!!


Comments

  • #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Can it even be legally terminated? If not, theres nothing for him to pressure you into. That plus your conviction already to not terminate would hold up to him I think.

    As far as the college goes, get into an appointment with the school councelor/chaplain and they will do everything they can to help you on the degree side of things to make sure this doesn't cause your studies to break down.

    I'd tell him sooner rather than later. Even if he is an unfit father he should know what his choices have produced.


  • #3
    lau1247
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,236 ✭✭✭lau1247


    Whatastupidmistake wrote: »
    I couldn't even consider a termination so it looks like I'm going to be stuck doing it alone an I'm basically in pieces!

    You have made up your mind whether he admit to want to help & to take responsibility or not.

    What's the worst that could happen from telling him?
    Give it a try, the outcome may be better than you think??

    good luck op

    West Dublin, ☀️ 7.83kWp ⚡5.66 kWp South West, ⚡2.18 kWp North East



  • #4
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,378 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Are you absolutely sure he wouldn't want a child? Sometimes a man can say he doesn't want that direction but things can change once the situation changes...


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi op here. Thanks for replies. Strangely a few months back when he asked could we make a go of things he said he wanted to settle down and have a couple of kids, I'd be fairly doubtful that he'd want to do it with me though as we've had many of those conversations and never even managed a date we just slept together!
    I'm going to talk to him in the next few days rather than dragging it out any longer. Fingers crossed for me!!


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