My friends stalker???

Where To

My friend hasn't had much luck with the ladies recently so he joined one of them dating sites and got talking to a girl in the uk and the two of them seemed to click.

He's arranged to meet her this coming weekend and has flights, hotels etc. booked and paid for, and everything seemed to be going great;

until last week:(

It started with her sending messages such as 'i love you forever' and 'i'll never let you go', then she told him she got her ex to ring the hotel he's staying in pretending to my friend to make sure he wasn't standing her up:eek:

ok, he thought maybe shes just a bit needy but as she promised him a bit of action he's still goin ahead, even though she does sound like a cross between kathy bates in 'misery' and yer man bobbit's wife from a few years ago!!

he decided the easiest way to go about it was not to shower or shave all this week and be generally obnoxious and insanitary when he meets her, kind of fall below her expectations like, and let her down gently, nobody gets hurt like

however, he was chatting to her on yahoo or msn or one of them last night when she broke wind right there in front of him :pac: so obviously lack of personal hygiene won't put her off!!

anyways, my friend wants to know whats the easiest way to put her off him while still getting sexytime, i can't help him for laughing so i told him after hours is the place to go looking for advice on this:D

Seaneh

Your "friend"? Yeah right.

opinion guy

Strange it doesn't feel like Friday yet.

Sykk

You started out in the PI forum didn't you

SugarHigh

Sounds like she's trying to put your friend off. It's amazing how 2 adults could come up with the same retarded American sit com idea.

Scuid Mhór

this thread is really thought-provoking.

orourkeda

Turn up.

Roast the box off her.

Never talk to her again.

TheZohanS

It's probably a scam. Your friend will end up gagged, bound and robbed by several Russian Mafia scammers.

This will get interesting....

Gunsfortoys

Leave the kids alone OP.

orourkeda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNCx7LDv7Ng

Diapason

This will end well, with your "friend" married to an Isla Fisher lookalike.

Where To

TheZohan wrote: »

It's probably a scam. Your friend will end up gagged, bound and robbed by several Russian Mafia scammers.

This will get interesting....

exactly what i told him but he reckons its so long sinces hes been with a woman he's willing to take the chance

Sykk

where do i go from here wrote: »

I haven't had much luck with the ladies recently so I joined one of them dating sites and got talking to a girl in the uk and the we seemed to click.

I arranged to meet her this coming weekend and has flights, hotels etc. booked and paid for, and everything seemed to be going great;

until last week:(

It started with me sending messages such as 'i love you forever' and 'i'll never let you go', then she told me to cop the fcuk on

ok, I thought maybe shes just a bit needy but as she promised me a restraining order I'm still goin ahead, even though she does sound like a cross between kathy bates in 'misery' and yer man bobbit's wife from a few years ago!!

I decided the easiest way to go about it was not to fap all week so I empty the load 3 seconds in, kind of fall below her expectations like, so she can let me down gently, nobody gets hurt like

however, I was chatting to her on yahoo or msn or one of them last night when I broke wind right there in front of her :pac: so obviously lack of personal hygiene won't put her off!!

anyways, I want to know what's the easiest way to avoid the sex offenders registration while still getting sexytime, i can't help myself for laughing so i thought after hours is the place to go looking for advice on this:D

FYP

TheZohanS

where do i go from here wrote: »

exactly what i told him but he reckons its so long sinces hes been with a woman he's willing to take the chance

Jesus....if that's the case Amsterdam would be cheaper....and safer.

bronte

Does "your friend" really think it's a smart idea to sleep with this woman?

Duggy747

Your "friend" is going to be violently raped by the most outrageously sized dildo in existence.

Or chopped up and have his organs harvested.

Or sent to an Eastern European country as a sex slave.

Or will have kilos upon kilos of drugs stuffed up his arse and then sent abroad for some deliveries.

Or will become the star in a snuff movie.







Surely this can't end well, can it? It'll make for a damn good thread when we find out the results :pac:

Where To

bronte wrote: »

Does "your friend" really think it's a smart idea to sleep with this woman?

i think its more a case of he's a tightwad and he doesn't want to lose the money he's spent on flights and hotels and all:rolleyes: as he's told her where and when he's gonna be there he's kinda dug a hole for himself and can't see an easy way out:pac:

Royal Irish

I have heard of this before. She is going to suggest to your friend "would you like to try something kinky" and tie him up in bed naked. Then she will leave the room and then in walks a big black guy hung like a horse and he wont have any lub with him either.

Kimono-Girl

where do i go from here wrote: »

i think its more a case of he's a tightwad and he doesn't want to lose the money he's spent on flights and hotels and all:rolleyes: as he's told her where and when he's gonna be there he's kinda dug a hole for himself and can't see an easy way out:pac:

easy way out is don't go! sounds creepy to be honest! :eek:

AnonoBoy

It's not a woman.

It's me in a wig and dress, putting on a woman's voice.

Don't tell your friend though, it's going to be hilarious when he finds the secret surprise in my knickers!

Where To

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

easy way out is don't go! sounds creepy to be honest! :eek:

The silly eejit even showed her where his house is on google streetview, if it is dodgy 'they' might track him down!!

i'll go to hell for laughin at him but

:pac:

Kimono-Girl

where do i go from here wrote: »

The silly eejit even showed her where his house is on google streetview, if it is dodgy 'they' might track him down!

:eek:

jebus did he give her his bank details and pin codes too? :pac:

Diapason

That boy needs to give his penis a stern talking to.

dumb_parade

OP, you should go along with him and provide a running commentary on this thread. If you can stop laughing for long enough....

Where To

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

:eek:

jebus did he give her his bank details and pin codes too? :pac:

Na she told him shes a millionairess and doesn't want him spending his money on her.:rolleyes:

reverse psychology maybe??

vangoz

where do i go from here wrote: »

The silly eejit even showed her where his house is on google streetview, if it is dodgy 'they' might track him down!!

i'll go to hell for laughin at him but

:pac:

:eek::eek: Is her name George Agdgdgwngo by any chance??? She sounds totally legitimate.

Where To

vangoz wrote: »

:eek::eek: Is her name George Agdgdgwngo by any chance??? She sounds totally legitimate.

na he's checked her out on facebook and everything and shes definitely a real person

i said to him 'she sounds like a bunny boiler to me' and he showed me a picture she sent him of her with her pet rabbit . . . .

'how could she hurt a bunny' he said :eek:

Sanjuro

where do i go from here wrote: »

It started with her sending messages such as 'i love you forever' and 'i'll never let you go', then she told him she got her ex to ring the hotel he's staying in pretending to my friend to make sure he wasn't standing her up:eek:

ok, he thought maybe shes just a bit needy but as she promised him a bit of action he's still goin ahead, even though she does sound like a cross between kathy bates in 'misery' and yer man bobbit's wife from a few years ago!!

he decided the easiest way to go about it was not to shower or shave all this week and be generally obnoxious and insanitary when he meets her, kind of fall below her expectations like, and let her down gently, nobody gets hurt like

however, he was chatting to her on yahoo or msn or one of them last night when she broke wind right there in front of him :pac: so obviously lack of personal hygiene won't put her off!!

anyways, my friend wants to know whats the easiest way to put her off him while still getting sexytime, i can't help him for laughing so i told him after hours is the place to go looking for advice on this:D

Please, PLEASE get your mate to go, carry out his plan, and film the whole thing. It'll make for an incredible documentary about desperation and the lengths people will go to get their hole.

dr.bollocko

checked her out on facebook and everything and shes definitely a real person

Famous last words.

neilk32

where do i go from here wrote: »

na he's checked her out on facebook and everything and shes definitely a real person

Catfish anyone?

The Waltzing Consumer

Sounds like you paid for a stranger to have a great paid-for weekend in Dublin. Now all she has to do is scare you off and she can have a nice time in Dublin.

Methinks you got scammed good

Where To

Sanjuro wrote: »

Please, PLEASE get your mate to go, carry out his plan, and film the whole thing. It'll make for an incredible documentary about desperation and the lengths people will go to get their hole.

aye, kicking meself that i'm not going for the craic but unfortunately i'm off to a different part of the uk this week for totally unrelated reasons

(c'mon the geordies!!):D

kumate_champ07

the icing on the cake would be your friend gets this girl pregnant, she'll prob say she's on the pill or cant have kids.

Where To

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

the icing on the cake would be your friend gets this girl pregnant, she'll prob say she's on the pill or cant have kids.

he says she told him shes got three kids, the silly fecker was asking me what
type of presents he should take over for them :rolleyes:

Alter-Ego

where do i go from here wrote: »

he says she told him shes got three kids, the silly fecker was asking me what
type of presents he should take over for them :rolleyes:

This has to be a wind up.

Nobody is that desperate to get their hole. Nobody!

opinion guy

Alter-Ego wrote: »

This has to be a wind up.

Nobody is that desperate to get their hole. Nobody!

Indeed.

Hasn't your friend heard of that fine establishment known as Copper's ?

Where To

Alter-Ego wrote: »

This has to be a wind up.

Nobody is that desperate to get their hole. Nobody!

you'd be surprised!! for the first week or two he thought he'd met the woman of his dreams

alarm bells only started ringing when she began learning irish off the net so she could tell him she loved him 'as gaelige' :eek:

by then it was too late:(

dumb_parade

Shes learning as gaelige is she, just for him?

Where To

dumb_parade wrote: »

Shes learning as gaelige is she, just for him?

yep :pac:

she even sent him a pic of her backside with 'pog mo thoin' taped on it:eek:

he thought it was hilarious. . . .

Pawpad666

where do i go from here wrote: »

yep :pac:

she even sent him a pic of her backside with 'pog mo thoin' taped on it:eek:

he thought it was hilarious. . . .

Aww here, she's a mentalist.

Reminds me of this guy

http://www.oldskoolhooligans.com/node/162

where do i go from here

where do i go from here wrote: »

however, he was chatting to her on yahoo or msn or one of them last night when she broke wind right there in front of him :pac: so obviously lack of personal hygiene won't put her off!!

If they were chatting over MSN, with him here and her in England, then how does he know that she farted? Did she type "lol I just farted!" or something?

seensensee

Hook.....Line.....Sinker, Being tracked by a stalker is the end of life as you know it.

OP, your friend is hooked and is soon to be in the hands of a very experienced individual.
He seeks love and pleasure, there is a price to pay, everything changes, it will all end in tears.

OP, you have two choices...

1. Go over with him.
or
2. Make sure he misses that plane.

Blazer

If you're any bit of a friend at all you'd take his place and take a hit for the team.
It's what I'd expect my best friend/friend to do..:D

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

DOC09UNAM

Thread smells of bullshít and desperation.

Blazer

DOC09UNAM wrote: »

Thread smells of bullshít and desperation.

very harsh on her...so she dropped one..no bigdeal

curlzy

I'd say that'll end well...... NOT:D Defo come back and keep us updated OP!!!!!

longhalloween

TheZohan wrote: »

It's probably a scam. Your friend will end up gagged, bound and robbed by several Russian Mafia scammers.

This will get interesting....

Thats why you and some other lads should 'watch his back'

Where To

Deleted User wrote: »

If they were chatting over MSN, with him here and her in England, then how does he know that she farted? Did she type "lol I just farted!" or something?

he says they were having an intimate video call when she let one go out of the blue:pac:

i asked him did that not ruin the mood, he said she took her top off and he forgot all about it!!:eek:

Pawpad666

Oh dear gawd, let it be the weekend! Please let this be true, I can't wait for the update. :pac:

Where To

quick update, he's definitely goin through with it, he's meeting her at an unspecified hotel in an unspecified english city 6pm friday:pac: