a week after break-up

needles24

hey guys,

I am looking for your opinions on this matter. I am feeling really hurt as I have just found out that my ex is in new relationship. He started seeing her a week after we broke up and has been since. We are only over the bones of a month.
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I was with this guy for four years. Less then a year into the relationship, he cheated on me as he developed strong feelings for a work colleague.
I did forgive him, trusted him but I could never shake the thought that I was inadequate.Then at another stage, he told me he developed feelings for my sister and also in July another girl he socialised with. These feelings confused him and he broke up with me due to them. He later said they were misguided and he couldn't act on them.We got back together but again, i FELT so inadequate as a girlfriend and this wouldn't leave me..I broke up with him and it broke my heart to do it because I love this guy soo much.

yet, a week later, a new fresh relationship..It is yet again a dent in my self-esteem...can one really move on that fast if they had genuine feelings?I feel soo depressed because it shows I meant nothing to this guy. I want to at some stage be friends with this guy. I knew from our history that he would move on but a WEEK later?

LegacyUser

Im sorry you are so upset. But in my opinion you are better off without him. Seems like he had a case of the grass is always greener. What did you say when he said he liked your sister??
I feel he has been taking you for a ride and is not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Im sorry to say but he might have been seeing this girl before you broke up.
Brush yourself off, get your girls around you, buy some new clothes and try move on and dont waste anymore of your time on this waster!

barleybooley

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear you're down about this guy but by the sounds of it, you're well shot of him. Why on earth would he tell you he had designs on your sister and on a colleague? Unless he was trying to get you to break up with him back then which wouldn't be beyond the realms of possibility. It seems unlikely that he's on the rebound but that's not to say that he's not. I think you should take time to get over this, four years is a long time to give someone your love and then go out there and find someone that will return your love and keep you from being hurt again.

Best of luck and lots of hugs,
bb

LegacyUser

The sad, harsh truth here is that no, he never genuinely cared about you. You couldn't treat someone you care about in that manner. He was simply using you until someone he cared about did come along. You allowed him to do this by forgiving him for cheating, etc.

You deserve so much better than this. Why would you allow yourself to go through further pain by trying to be friends with this person? Chances are if he moved on so quick, he's been seeing this girl behind your back for a long time. Don't be so naive to his behaviour! You obviously have extremely low self-esteem to be putting up with this.

How could you ever be friends with this man? Will you stand by unaffected while he tells you about his new girlfriend? Be bigger than him and his actions. Delete his number, do not call/text/message him on facebook. Move on! I know it's hard but it's time you put yourself first. This guy is a nasty piece of work and the sooner you see that the quicker you can heal.

needles24

When he told me he had feelings for my sister, I was naturally gutted. She is my twin sister, we don't look alike and we have total different personalities..he said it wasn't that she reminded him of me. We broke up after that conversation but got back together on the basis that those feelings were misguided. The other girl again the same story..It hurts that by briefly meeting someone it would make him question the whole relationship.

yes, I knew very much by the end of it that he was hanging onto me until someone more suitable came along. It felt like I was holding onto nothing as he could up and leave at any stage but it was still very hard to finally let go. My low self-esteem combined with my strong feelings for him allowed this to be the case

I have explained to him about how I feel about the whole situation. He ended up feeling like it was an attack on his character and was hurt that I didn't come to a more positive conclusion. I had to stop myself from apologising after because I knew he was hurt by by what I said.

I can't bring myself to hate this guy because I still have feeings left for him but I am very angry with him. Friends is out of question for a long while.

The new girl is apart of a group he socialized with a few months before we broke up. He never mentioned her to me before.
I am trying to believe that there wasn't anything brewing until after we broke up .It would not have affected me if it didn't occur so soon.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me.