If you could go back what would you change

LegacyUser

Okay so if you could go back in time what things would you change.

- I would have taken the job offer in Australia
- Learned to drive sooner
- Purchased the lovely top i saw last week when I had the money instead of waiting and going back to find it was gone.

I am a friend

So amny things.....

Scarinae

I agree with you OP, I would have learned to drive too. It would have been so easy - I was living at home, my parents were willing to pay for lessons, and I could have used my mum's car. But nooooo I just couldn't be bothered, so now I'm 24 and living in London which is NOT a place to learn to drive

I'd also keep up the piano, I only officially got to grade 3 but I kept playing it for a few years with sheet music of stuff like Christmas carols, the Beatles and, er, Coldplay... I was really good, I don't know why I got out of the habit, I would be so rusty at it at this stage it would probably be like starting from scratch if I tried it again!

seenitall

I would have:

• emigrated much earlier than I did
• not married my ex (obviously! )

Wow, am actually pleasantly surprised. Never thought of this before, but it is a bit of a boost to realise I have very few regrets. Not bad.

Leelaa22

I would -
Have ditched my 2nd bf before I let him take my much-ness.
Finished the pole dancing class I started.
Saved up more money when I used to work.

wow I honeslty thought I would have had alot more to change. yay

krudler

Went travelling sooner and did the being single thing for longer, I did things arseways lol went from school to full time job and long term relationship, now I want freedom and no commitment.

Asphyxia

* Not went out with that guy
* Kept up the bass
* Started travelling sooner like I had planned
* Started college sooner

So much more but blah! You can erase the past.

Novella

I would have realised a lot sooner that the majority of people in my life who tried to fuck things up, or who hurt me etc., weren't worth one of my tears, never mind a million. I'd live my life over and not change any of the experiences, just the way I reacted really because I spent way too long giving to people who were treating me like shit and neglecting the ones who'd always been there. I'm just glad I figured it out before it was too late.

Acoshla

I would've have quit my last job when I wanted to and not stayed long enough for the stress to make me ill.

I would take back saying something hurtful to my Mom the week I moved home from abroad and she had surgery the same week. I was jetlagged and confused and I said something horrible, making her cry broke my heart.

I would've held on to some friendships that I let slip, and I would have gotten rid of some other friendships a lot sooner!

There are things that I would have thought I'd regret, but if they hadn't happened other good things wouldn't have worked out the way they did, everything happens for a reason.

sunshinyday

I wouldnt change a thing, my mistakes are part of who i am today! ive made plenty and plenty of big ones!

The things ive said that i shouldnt ive gone and apologised for. I like to try and live like my gran said, never going to bed with an ill word spoken.

Changings things then would change the now and maybe all for the worse,the answers to this post might be alot longer for it.

Celtise

* Learned to drive years ago
* Not been so afraid to take risks in life before
* Worked harder in uni and last summer
* Never to have moved to my parental home for longer than 2 week spells
* To have saved some of the money I earned last year
* Maybe have done a different college course (both undergrad and PG)
* To have really given the last bloke a chance, big mistake I fear.

rainbow kirby

Celtise wrote: »

* Learned to drive years ago

This, still can't drive.

RacoonQueen

I'd like to say I'd have studied for my Leaving Cert but if I had I would have got the course I'd always dreamt of and ended up doing a job that I now realise I'd have absolutely despised. I completely underachieved at from halfway through 5th year onwards and have spent every second since then completely wasting so much ability. However, I'd have gone straight to Uni instead of attempting to repeat and I'd never have met the people I met while attempting to repeat(it lasted 2 months). I'd never have got a full time job and then gone onto do another course and discovered some other talents, again I'd have missed out on meeting some wonderful people.

Also, chances are, I'd never have started running.

I do regret how much I've wasted my academic abilities, I know I'm capable of doing pretty much anything I set my mind to. I've had other experiences though and I'd have missed out on a lot of the wonderful things I've seen and done over the last few years if I HAD gone on and achieved what I should have in the LC. I know I'd have had other amazing experiences, met some other amazing people etc etc but I'm happy with the ones I've had.

I wouldn't have put my life on hold for my family for 6 years(and counting) then again, if I hadn't stayed here I wouldn't have what I wrote above...

One thing I do regret, is not fighting harder to keep playing basketball. I would literally give EVERYTHING I have to play basketball again, especially at the level I could have played at. Everything. I still long to hold a ball in my hands again and power towards the basket. *sigh*

Edit: and two of celtise's rankle with me too!

Blush_01

I almost think I'm still a bit young to be looking back with regrets (not that I don't have a few - and not so few that there are too few to mention) so there are very few things I'd change. I'd mainly change a lot of my reactions, like Novella said.

That said, I would definitely change:

Allowing one particular person to take my trust in people and crush it, to the point that I'm still getting over it four years later, because I was afraid that I'd be rude if I told them to take a running jump before things even got that far. It was a very harsh lesson to learn.

My inability to stop talking incessantly (usually about rubbish).

Letting my head rule my heart with regard to the masters course I chose (and not subsequently dropping out of the masters I did choose when I realised it wasn't what I thought it would be and that most of the elements of it that I wanted had been removed between course description and course start date).

KyussBishop

I'd have left school and all the crap involved earlier, so I wouldn't have felt like withdrawing from people for so long afterwards.
Still though, I've learned a lot in that time (after school), which I wouldn't have otherwise.

barleybooley

Wow, great thread OP!

I would've:
-done higher maths for Leaving Cert, I told my teacher I was dropping because I wasn't bothered studying, BIG mistake as I loved Maths
-tried very hard to keep an eye on my weight between Junior Cert and Leaving Cert, went from 10.5 stone to 13.5 stone, am now an average being 12 stone but I'd love to get down to that weight again
-not spent so much on pointless things like Starbucks considering my bank balance is at an all time low
-gone ahead with something I didn't and have regretted ever since
-worked harder in college

But as the saying goes hindsight is 20/20 and mistakes make us who we are. I got just enough points for a course I wasn't bothered with in a place I wasn't bothered going to and ended up meeting the greatest people.

Things always work out but never in the way you think.

monroebaby

I should never have gone through security at Brisbane airport. I should have turned around and not got on that plane. I left the biggest part of my heart standing in the departure lounge.

TheUsual

barleybooley wrote: »

Wow, great thread OP!
I would've:
-done higher maths for Leaving Cert, I told my teacher I was dropping because I wasn't bothered studying, BIG mistake as I loved Maths
-tried very hard to keep an eye on my weight between Junior Cert and Leaving Cert, went from 10.5 stone to 13.5 stone, am now an average being 12 stone but I'd love to get down to that weight again

I wouldn't blame yourself for dropping honours Maths, a lot is down to the teacher. My maths teacher talked two smart people out of doing it after a year, when I look back now he was not good at maths or being a teacher.
Also my honours English teacher told me to leave his class and take pass english, I thought he was joking so I told him I would sit the exam without his help. He let me back in and I got a B no thanks to him.

Also don't be so critical of being 12 stone - plenty of people would like to be in your shoes and no guy I know likes ribs and bones. If you exercise a bit - muscle is a lot heavier so your weight is not a good sign of your overall health.

sam34

there's a relationship that i wish i'd never gotten into. it was ill-advised from the start, and while it was good for a while, it had a long, protracted and very distressing ending.

if i had my time over, i'd run a mile from that particular man.

having said that, i did learn a lot about myself, people and life in general from it, i discovered a strength of character i never thought i had, but really, it wasnt worth it.

Emme

I wouldn't have been so "nice" when I was younger, I'd have suited myself more.

I'd have left Ireland to work and live abroad, possibly for good.

Gone to college sooner and studied full-time rather than at night after work.

Got married in my 20s to an older guy I was seeing at the time - it was getting serious and he was talking about marriage. I left him when he started getting abusive but I often wonder how it would have turned out if I'd stuck it out with him - he's not that bad in comparison to the guys I meet now.:(

Maple

sam34 wrote: »

there's a relationship that i wish i'd never gotten into. it was ill-advised from the start, and while it was good for a while, it had a long, protracted and very distressing ending.

if i had my time over, i'd run a mile from that particular man.

having said that, i did learn a lot about myself, people and life in general from it, i discovered a strength of character i never thought i had, but really, it wasnt worth it.

This. By a million.

I think I broke into a million pieces after this relationship; yes, i'm much stronger now but was it worth it?

Not in the slightest.

rannerap

Theres so many things I would like to have done differently or to change but if things hadnt worked out the way they did I wouldnt be where I am now, I wouldnt be in the course I'm in now, I wouldnt be with my boyfriend and my life would be completely different. I'm kind of glad the way things worked out even if it did cause a lot of heartache along the way

Wibbs

maple wrote: »

This. By a million.

I think I broke into a million pieces after this relationship; yes, i'm much stronger now but was it worth it?

Not in the slightest.

I'd agree with ye both and would be coming from similar stuff. Different circumstances and all, not toxic as such, but if I could go back? Would I try to change the outcome knowing what I know now? Or would I choose to whisper in my own ear not to get involved in the first place and keep my "innocence" for want of a better word? You know, I'd have to think about it, but TBH I think the latter option would win. Yes I'm stronger, but also significantly more cynical. Actually cynical is not quite the word. Cynical you can work on More accurately I suspect that part of me is burnt out in a way. I'm actually glad it is. No way would I go through that guff again. Not in a million years.

Maple

Wibbs wrote: »

More accurately I suspect that part of me is burnt out in a way. I'm actually glad it is. No way would I go through that guff again. Not in a million years.

Nail on head my dear Wibbly Wonder.

I will never be the person I was pre-2006, do I miss her? Of course, I miss her innocence and her whole-ness, I miss the way it didn't hurt her to breathe somedays and her belief in love.

But would I do it all over again? I cannot emphasise how emphatically I would answer no to that question.

Pembily

barleybooley wrote: »

Things always work out but never in the way you think.

I hope you are right!!!

sam34 wrote: »

there's a relationship that i wish i'd never gotten into. it was ill-advised from the start, and while it was good for a while, it had a long, protracted and very distressing ending.

if i had my time over, i'd run a mile from that particular man.

having said that, i did learn a lot about myself, people and life in general from it, i discovered a strength of character i never thought i had, but really, it wasnt worth it.

maple wrote: »

Nail on head my dear Wibbly Wonder.

I will never be the person I was pre-2006, do I miss her? Of course, I miss her innocence and her whole-ness, I miss the way it didn't hurt her to breathe somedays and her belief in love.

But would I do it all over again? I cannot emphasise how emphatically I would answer no to that question.

I agree with both of the above!!! Wish I had been strong enough to say fcuk off when my ex asked me back this time 4 years ago - would have saved me and my family a WORLD of serious hurt, blind love is horrible

Maple I also miss my pre 2006 person, I was care free, not scared and non sarcastic!!!!

It is a part of my life I wish didn't happen, I don't think it helped me in anyway and my life would be better without it.

The rest made me stronger but this particual part of my life made me a mess... I would, inifity and beyond, change that chapter of my life!!!

elleburp

Inthenow wrote: »

Okay so if you could go back in time what things would you change.

My teenage wardrobe

I'd go on a J1 while I had the chance

phasers

I wouldn't have driven my first car into that gate!

Maple

Pembily wrote: »

It is a part of my life I wish didn't happen, I don't think it helped me in anyway and my life would be better without it.

QFT. I don't see how this episode helped me at all. Yes, i'm infinitely stronger and more compassionate etc etc blah blah but I was a nice person before it too.

Pembily wrote: »

The rest made me stronger but this particual part of my life made me a mess... I would, inifity and beyond, change that chapter of my life!!!

Yes, i'd most definitely have taken a duvet day on that particular day were I given the choice.

***hugs my lovely, big massive hugs***

Lynnsie

maple wrote: »

QFT. I don't see how this episode helped me at all. Yes, i'm infinitely stronger and more compassionate etc etc blah blah but I was a nice person before it too.

+ 1 million. I've had two relationships that if I had my time again, I wouldn't go near. They both had their good times but when they went wrong, they went very very wrong and have both left their mark. And yeah they've made me stronger and I've probably learnt from them, but I don't think I needed that much crap and hurt to make me stronger and wiser.

Wibbs

elleburp wrote: »

My teenage wardrobe

Oh god. You had to go and remind me of that.... I will keeeeel you OK OK there's something else I'd go back and change.

Now where's me Tardis? I'm an Irish Time Lord so I get about in this.



The yoke on the left is the spare.

Don't get me started on the Doctor. Doctor my arse. Never passed an exam in his life. Used to nick my homework back when we were kids. Git.

Maple

elleburp wrote: »

My teenage wardrobe

:eek: Oh mother of jaysus!!:eek:

Wibbly, move over in that tardis!!

One word; Paisley.

Scarinae

Emme wrote: »

Got married in my 20s to an older guy I was seeing at the time - it was getting serious and he was talking about marriage. I left him when he started getting abusive but I often wonder how it would have turned out if I'd stuck it out with him - he's not that bad in comparison to the guys I meet now.:(

I don't know all the particulars, but I think you were right to leave him when he started getting abusive. Chances are, he would have stayed abusive; and if you had stuck with him you would have found it more difficult to leave with every incident, especially if you ended up having children together. I'm sorry you had to go through whatever happened, but the important thing is that he doesn't have that power over you anymore - you may be single, but at least you're not a victim.

sam34

Wibbs wrote: »

Yes I'm stronger, but also significantly more cynical. Actually cynical is not quite the word. Cynical you can work on More accurately I suspect that part of me is burnt out in a way. I'm actually glad it is. No way would I go through that guff again. Not in a million years.

*waves*

jaded is the term i'd use. (or bitter & twisted :P)

the way i see things now, i just dont have the energy or inclination to go down the road of serious relationships anymore. no thanks. not for me. not worth it.

Wibbs

Pretty much. Though funny enough I'm not jaded for others. I like seeing others get all loved up Even like a bit of matchmaking. Just for me I'm "meh" about it. I've had a lurvectomy

The only thing I would change are 1. the guy I dated when I was 16, and 2. the guy I dated at 27, and 3. the guy I dated at 28.

Other than those guys (especially the earliest one) not a lot else has gone wrong for me.... nothing I or they could have changed anyway, my health was a ticking timebomb no matter what.

monroebaby

Nice to know others are jaded,burnt out, bitter and twisted, or just not arsed. I could never go back and I totally get that Im stronger and more blehhhhhhhhh......... What does it matter if its kind of ruined it for me? I cant see myself getting involved in another long term. It affects you in loads of ways, i find it hard to trust myself sometimes. I was the one stayed. How can I be sure I wont make that mistake again? Ugh. Relationships suck. Lets all have fun.
Also, I think a new thread could be started on dodgy fashions from when we were kids! My mam put me in a full length brown paisley dress...:eek:
Or frikkin bicycle shorts with neon pink strips down the sides :eek:

sunshinyday

wheres your new thread monroe?

monroebaby

just made one... ah my first thread. Is that a boards milestone? :rolleyes:

Emme

Fishie wrote: »

I don't know all the particulars, but I think you were right to leave him when he started getting abusive. Chances are, he would have stayed abusive; and if you had stuck with him you would have found it more difficult to leave with every incident, especially if you ended up having children together. I'm sorry you had to go through whatever happened, but the important thing is that he doesn't have that power over you anymore - you may be single, but at least you're not a victim.

Ah but I am a victim, a victim of prejudice against single women! :mad: Maybe I shouldn't have spent so many of my young and hot years with him, THAT'S my regret.

Pembily

monroebaby wrote: »

It affects you in loads of ways, i find it hard to trust myself sometimes. I was the one stayed. How can I be sure I wont make that mistake again? Ugh.

I feel the same but I hope that I will be more aware next time (my family have told me they will vet future prospectives worse than garda vetting)... Your judgement is sharper, while we are jaded we are more aware and cautious now!!!!

metrovelvet

I would not have come back to this country.

Eve_Dublin

Few regrets....

- Would´ve moved to Uruguay instead of Spain but I´m here now and I´m happy...just think I might have been more content in Uruguay.

- Studied even a tinsy bit for my Leaving....I did absolutely nothing (and I really mean NOTHING...lazy arse) and still passed and even managed to get an honour in honours Irish and English! Always wonder how well I would´ve done if I bothered my arse :-/

- Wished I wasn´t such a cow to my dad in the past. He really was only trying his best and was a father of his generation. Making up for it now.

- Regret not taking the bull by the horns when it came to men I liked in the past...mixed pride up with dignity. Only realise now that there´s a difference.

No regrets with anyone I´ve got involved with. I still believe I´ll meet someone fantastic...just a bit more wary about who I get involved with.

Edgedinblue

Not to have lost my virginity at 13, i was still only a baby sure! although its not that i regret losing it. its just who and when i lost it to. makes me sad thinking about it actually. what a cnunt he was. :mad: also would love to have not gone near said cnunt

monroebaby

Pembily wrote: »

I feel the same but I hope that I will be more aware next time (my family have told me they will vet future prospectives worse than garda vetting)... Your judgement is sharper, while we are jaded we are more aware and cautious now!!!!

Are you afraid of being too cautious? Getting involved and wanting to run everytime the slightest thing happens. I'm kind of afraid of that tbh. Ah Im not too afraid of bein a spinster anyway, life is for living. Things like that have made me more dependent on myself, more determined to see the world and make something of my life, maybe the husband, kids and mortgage just arent for a free bird like me....:rolleyes:

metrovelvet

Miss Lala wrote: »

+ 1 million. I've had two relationships that if I had my time again, I wouldn't go near. They both had their good times but when they went wrong, they went very very wrong and have both left their mark. And yeah they've made me stronger and I've probably learnt from them, but I don't think I needed that much crap and hurt to make me stronger and wiser.

I wish I could say the same that you and others have said. That despite the hurt and the damage you came out stronger and with wisdom [I think Wibbs calls it cynicism].

I think I came out a cripple.

monroebaby

metrovelvet wrote: »

I think I came out a cripple.

I felt like a cripple at the beginning, but, oh, 3 years later?? :eek::eek: I'm made of steel!!!!
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. "
Ernest Hemingway

metrovelvet

monroebaby wrote: »

I felt like a cripple at the beginning, but, oh, 3 years later?? :eek::eek: I'm made of steel!!!!
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. "
Ernest Hemingway

Lol. You'll still always feel it in the winter Ernie.

sallysaucer101

Everything I have done has made me the person I am now, and I quite like who I am now!!

Although saying that I wish I hadn't done that thing in 4th year...!:(