Fathers Name on Birth Cert?

Yummy_Mummy

Hi All
I have a question... its quite a pickle
I am due to register the birth of my baby, and get the birth cert.
I was all set to have the father named as I think it only fair for the child to know who both of his parents are and to feel complete (if that makes sense)
However a family member warned me against it today saying it would give him rights... for example if we were to break up down the line he would be able to get custody if he was named on the birth cert.

I am now terrified that he would be able to take my child off me... we are happy together now but who knows how things will work out in the future.

What should I do? Does anyone have any experience of this?
Please advise...

Nevyn

I think your relation was talking out their hat.

Yummy_Mummy wrote: »

I am now terrified that he would be able to take my child off me...

But it is not just your child, it's his child too.

Yummy_Mummy wrote: »

we are happy together now but who knows how things will work out in the future.

Well if I was an unmarried father I would be worried for as things stand if an unmarried couple splits up and he hasn't his name on the birth cert and hasnt' got guardianship and mother can just 'disappear' with the child.


If you are not married to the father of your child you can put his name on the forum but he has to attend the registrar with photo id and sign to have his name put on to the birth cert.

As he is not married to you he has no rights what so ever over the child, even with his name on the birthcert but you could sign for him to be given guardianship rights, or if you were to contest that he could apply through the courts for it.

Being on the birth cert does not give him automatic legal rights over the child as you are not married. If you were to break up he would have to apply for guardianship and then for custody and how the courts are now mother's who are junkies are allowed to keep thier kids, so it would be doubtful he would get custody.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/unmarried_couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples.html

ttp://www.treoir.ie has a lot of helpful information for parents who are not married.

King of Kings

the name on the birth cert doesn't give him and more or less rights than he would have legally anyway. Your family member is talking through their behind.

Although i'd query why you claim to be happy etc.... yet try and deny him all the same. It looks like you are looking for an exit route already.
Although it's a meaningless gesture he'll prob freak at you. I would.
But that's another days argument.

LegacyUser

I think whatever is in the best interest of the child, OP, I know you love your child and I'm pretty sure the mother usually always gets custody of the child unless there are reasons that she shouldnt, however as a woman I'm still in favour of father's having equal rights to their child if they are capable and willing to put in the effort in the best interest of the child. It would be very hard to explain to your child years down the line that you had the oppertunity to put down their father's name but you chose not to. Could cause resentment.

Although I understand your main fear that if you break up, a custody agreement will have to be reached. But regardless of that, if you break up and if your OH wants to see their child. Split custody will happen anyway.

Yummy_Mummy

Thanks guys...
Im just worried, im not looking for an exit route im just trying to be realistic.
The father of the baby is actually in jail and will be there for a few years.
His solicitor is going to put his name on the birth cert for us, I wanted it on there for himself and my sons benefit originally but i just got a shock today when that was said to me.

I dont want him coming out of jail and trying to take the child off me when i'll have put in all the years of hard work - midnight feeds, changing nappies, and all on my own.

I love the dad, I do, maybe my heads just all over the place from the hormones. Im not trying to deny him his child - he's as much his as he is mine, but shared custody would kill me.

metrovelvet

Seriously, what are the chances of an ex con getting custody of a child?

Yummy_Mummy

true, Id always give him plenty of access and visits and do family things together for the sake of the child like... Just want the baby to stay with me.

Thanks for all the advice guys, il put his name on the birth cert now with my mind at rest

grrrrrrrrrr

King of Kings wrote: »

the name on the birth cert doesn't give him and more or less rights than he would have legally anyway. Your family member is talking through their behind.
Although i'd query why you claim to be happy etc.... yet try and deny him all the same. It looks like you are looking for an exit route already.
Although it's a meaningless gesture he'll prob freak at you. I would.
But that's another days argument.

Dont people about to get married get prenums just in case the worse was to happen. Not all couples but its the same thing.
Dont you have to legally put the fathers name on the birth very? I know you could just say you dont know him but will that go down as 'unknown' then? The kid will always wonder if that man is actually his father.
Edit sorry didnt read you last post op, glad to hear you've come to a decision. Good luck!!!!

Kimia

God I think it's really bad form that you hold all the cards in naming the child's father. It's a fact, the child would not have existed without him, and you're thinking of denying him simple acknowledgement of his paternity on the off-chance that in years to come you may break up and he may challenge you on custody?

Fair enough, this situation isn't the ideal example, with the father being in jail and all, but I just hate seeing this attitude of the woman thinking she owns the child because she's the mother. I thought it took 2 to make a baby.

Reminds me of this girl I used to know, stupid bint as she was. Puts up photos of her kid on FB, saying 'I made this'. No you didn't - I don't remember hearing it was possible to fertilise an egg on your own. :rolleyes:

metrovelvet

Kimia wrote: »

God I think it's really bad form that you hold all the cards in naming the child's father. It's a fact, the child would not have existed without him, and you're thinking of denying him simple acknowledgement of his paternity on the off-chance that in years to come you may break up and he may challenge you on custody?

Fair enough, this situation isn't the ideal example, with the father being in jail and all, but I just hate seeing this attitude of the woman thinking she owns the child because she's the mother. I thought it took 2 to make a baby.

Reminds me of this girl I used to know, stupid bint as she was. Puts up photos of her kid on FB, saying 'I made this'. No you didn't - I don't remember hearing it was possible to fertilise an egg on your own. :rolleyes:

It's not, but you can carry, give birth to, pay for, and raise on on your own.

grrrrrrrrrr

Kimia wrote: »

I don't remember hearing it was possible to fertilise an egg on your own. :rolleyes:

Bet she probably thought she could

Kimia

metrovelvet wrote: »

It's not, but you can carry, give birth to, pay for, and raise on on your own.

I'm not disputing that. But as far as I know, bar carrying the child and giving birth, men can also pay for, and raise children on their own so I don't understand why so many women feel like men are these secondary nothings who can literally deny half their existence. It's horrible.

metrovelvet

Kimia wrote: »

I'm not disputing that. But as far as I know, bar carrying the child and giving birth, men can also pay for, and raise children on their own so I don't understand why so many women feel like men are these secondary nothings who can literally deny half their existence. It's horrible.

It's not just 'so many women' who do this.

I agree with you its a lousy thing to do. My son has no name on his birthcert and not through any choice of mine.

However, from what I can see people who do this have irrational, fearful motivations for doing this. THe OP clearly was insecure about it, has family making her insecure about and she has sought reassurance and there is NOTHING wrong with that. On top of that you don't know what he is in prison for either and you are getting on a high horse. Could be drugs, rape, who knows.

seenitall

metrovelvet wrote: »

THe OP clearly was insecure about it, has family making her insecure about and she has sought reassurance and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

+1

epgc3fyqirnbsx

If it makes you feel any better OP, the father has next to no rights, even when named, unless you prove yourself to be a negligent parent.
If he were not named a guardian would need to be appointed and he would have to apply through the courts to even get that status

I really have to advise, with all due respect, that rather than think of it as a parents right to the child, think of it as a childs right to his parents. Put the fathers name down, I've seen it break men before who had absolutely no rights to their child for simple bitterness
All these things should fade when it comes to your childs happiness

sollar

IMO it should be law to put the fathers name on the birth cert. Aside from the fact that its the right thing to do, it would also stop people abusing the benefit system.

On the subject of your OP. I know as a father that has been through the courts that the mother is in such a strong position in this country. He just won't have a hope in hell of taking the child of you. Its better all round to have his name on the birth cert.

Bottle_of_Smoke

You can go for the decent human being option of putting his name on it or the selfish controlling mother option of leaving him off it.

alex73

Everybody has a father, what wrong knowing tha name.

BUBBLES1978

if you put the name of the father on the birth cert it gives the father no rights whatsoever

you are the legal guardian of the child and unless he applies for joint gurdianship through the courts (which is not always given) he has no rights at all

even things like applying for a passport you can sign an affidaviat to claim you are the sole custodian of the child (which you would be unless he has gone the court route)

so all in all it would be right to have the fathers name on the birth cert as its the childs right no know his/her identity, but dont be worried about him having 50/50 rights to your child it doesnt work that way in ireland