Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report

Nodin

Though doubtless that refers to America, and not certain suburbs of Dublin...

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report

BluesBerry

she looks scary I wouldn't blame the men decling her advances :eek:

Teutorix

Sexy

TheZohanS

Sounds as if she's some sort of hard luck woman.

Poly

She obviously never heard of copper face jacks.

cherryghost

Don't open link!!!!!

DOES NOT WANT

AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Nodin

Poly wrote: »

She obviously never heard of copper face jacks.

...or febreze, so it seems.

karlog

Poly wrote: »

She obviously never heard of copper face jacks.

or vagisil

Nodin

cherryghost wrote: »

Don't open link!!!!!

DOES NOT WANT

AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Your soul is mine now.....whats left of it.

Ronin247

Not just an ugly fat f*cker but she had a bad case of "stinky twinky" so he declined. Made for Gerry Springer.

Hazys

I'd take death over the alternative tbh

Hazys

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

*shudder*

opinion guy

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

....now that's what I call a sticky situation....:P

ejmaztec

Her and the Aussie rugby player should have a get-together, to remind him of old times.:o

johngalway

ejmaztec wrote: »

Her and the Aussie rugby player should have a get-together, to remind him of old times.:o

Cork DJ as voyeur. What is it with this week and these stories!

Fizman

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your ****ing throat.”

All of a sudden my Friday evening curry isn't so appealing.

iamstop

Picute:
http://s8.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Goodbye-Kitty-Tee_4FFCED49.jpg

charlemont

best story i read all day

Gordon

Nice, that reminds me to think of a sentence to use next time I get picked up by the police so that I can claim to be the first one ever to have had it recorded in the police report.

"Ossifer, I'm not urinating here, I'm using my bio-ray gun to kill the invisible killer terror ants from the future that have set out to kill the future rebel alliance leader, leave me be!"

Got to give them something to chuckle over at work.

Guill

mmmmmmmmm

I'd give her one...:cool:

AAAAAAAHHH

I used a line possibly never used in a police report recently while giving a statement. "It reminded me of the scene from the film 300 where the king kicks your man down the well"

the purple tin

Sounds a bit like a more graphic/disturbing version of my name is Earl!

ascanbe

I'd imagine the two gentlemen she was dealing with were paragons of hygiene.

Sticky_Fingers

Guill wrote: »

mmmmmmmmm

I'd give her one...:cool:

You have to be codding us, there's something awful fishy about your post

iamstop

cleanliness - godawfulness or something.

AckwelFoley

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

Now we know whos making the stockpile of free cheese

darragh16

Ehhhh... You're grand love

iamstop

Did someone say growler? :eek:

brightkane

She was in coppers saturday night
That low light and all the slap she had on plus plenty of jager bombs, well lets just say she didnt have to use the knife, my mate dunner done her too.....

PanchoVilla

Only in West Virginia. :rolleyes:

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1006/west-virginia-funny-demotivational-poster-1277867610.jpg

Mrmoe

Guill wrote: »

mmmmmmmmm

I'd give her one...:cool:

By one I guess you mean a hosing down with disinfectant solution:eek:

Einstein

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report

I'd quote it but would prob get a kick in the face...

FatherLen

thats nasty. but ya gotta do what ya gotta do

humanji

Granted I'm no oil painting myself, but that is one ugly woman.

Pherekydes

Paging facekicker...

orourkeda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfi8fT9oHkQ

jackiebaron

That is fcuking grim.

amacachi

This is new and interesting.

Otacon

A face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!

listermint

I feel ill......

jimthemental

Fcuk blue waffle has just appeared in my head, I think I'm going to puke

Gunsfortoys

he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams

Nice.:pac:

Brendog

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my ***** or I’m going to cut your ****ing throat.”

Here is a photo of Melissa Williams holding a gun during a hostile stand-off with police....

bonerm

It's so refreshing to see a woman who tells your what she actually wants.

Biggins

bonerm wrote: »

It's so refreshing to see a woman who tells your what she actually wants.

My wife tell me what she wants!

...In Dunnes.

...In Penny's

...In a local jewellery shop!

...In every ruddy shop I'm dragged into!

Sykk

However, Adam Watson stated that he agreed for perform at her request. As Watson approached, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams

I think I just shat myself. May have been the funniest thing I've ever read.

flyton5

Was there crust I wonder?

Procasinator

I laughed when I saw the Horrible Vaginal Odor tag on the article.

Decide this thread (and probably many more in the future) should also be tagged as such.

biko

Merged with last thread

SuperInfinity

Wow.... after looking at it I was 99% sure that that site was fake, like theonion, until I checked. That's crazy.

"Man Busted for Waterboarding Girlfriend"... wow.... :eek:

And look at her mugshot. It's like as if it was selected out of millions for shoc effect....

Nodin

SuperInfinity wrote: »

Wow.... after looking at it I was 99% sure that that site was fake, like theonion, until I checked. That's crazy.

"Man Busted for Waterboarding Girlfriend"... wow.... :eek:

And look at her mugshot. It's like as if it was selected out of millions for shoc effect....

This weeks highlight is another wonderful expression of the human spirit....I give you the (slightly misleading)

Mouse Found Lodged Inside Naked Arrestee

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/mouse-found-lodged-inside-naked-arrestee