Older men

Mrs Garth Brooks

Just wondering how many more of you ladies are into older men. Or am i the only one?

I have never fancied a guy my own age. Is that weird? Im 28 and probably end up old and lonely. I mean I have always fancied men 10-20 years older than me.

Where do i find a man that isn't married, lying or isn't going through a mid life crisis and getting an ego boost.

This come up lots on Boards ( its something i have noticed a lot of the same topics come up all the time )

To answer your question of course your aren't the only woman who fancies older men its fairly common i would imaging.
.

Maybe you need to look at the reason you ONLY fancy older men.


I have been in a relationship with someone who was 19 years older that me but i have also been in relationships with men near my own age...you might have to accept that some of the men you meet will be having a mid life crises or looking for an ego stroke! that just life.

Novella

Imo, it's only weird if you wouldn't consider a man less than ten years older than you or whatever, as in - you met a great guy but he was only five years older and you decided to write him off due to that - I guess I'd think that a little strange.

However, we all have our preferences when it comes to dating so there's nothing wrong with preferring a man to be older than you are. Personally, I never really consider age, unless it was something I figured was gonna be an issue in the relationship, for example, us both being at different stages in our lives. I've dated guys older than me, and my current boyfriend is actually younger so go figure!

As for where you can find men... everywhere tbh. They're half the population. Generally, ime, finding someone tends to happen when you're not actively seeking.

Neadine

Age isn't hugely important. My most recent partner is almost 10 years older than me. Have also dated guys closer to my own age.

Black Swan

I like lads that are mature, but still can let their child out to play when times are right.

bronte

Yeah, I've pretty much always ended up with someone a few years older.
As long as there is common ground it's fine.

Pebbles!

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Just wondering how many more of you ladies are into older men. Or am i the only one?

I have never fancied a guy my own age. Is that weird? Im 28 and probably end up old and lonely. I mean I have always fancied men 10-20 years older than me.

Where do i find a man that isn't married, lying or isn't going through a mid life crisis and getting an ego boost.

I am the exact same as you! I always go for men that are older than me, last boyfriend was 21 years older than me..and my current boyfriend is ten years older than me. The fella that i dated who was 21 years older than me was never going to work we were both at completely different stages but with my current boyfriend it works well! I never really been into guys my own age, i don't really know why maybe there not as mature as I'd like them to be. all My friends go for guys their own age and think it's weird that I like guys so much older but it works for me and I'm happy!

I don't think you'l end up lonely, somebody will come along. At the end of the day age means nothing so If I was attracted to a guy who was around my age I would dismiss it! so just keeps your options open!:)

squeakyduck

OP, you're prince will come along when you least expect it but you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs on the way!

Mostly I've seen guys around my age maybe a year or two older, but we were on the same page, my current boyfriend is 19 days younger than me and it's going well

I was seeing a guy for a while that was 7 years older than me, and he was good for me at the time, I think it was an ego boost for both of us younger vs older, but I still think of him fondly.

My sister is currently seeing a guy that is older than her, but within the relationship there is a lot of grief, he's separated and the ex wife is a PSYCHO to say the least and the kids are brainwashed little brats from what I've heard them do (this coming from their father) , it puts a huge strain on the relationship but they are making it work, and are happy apart from the little hiccups

It takes two to make a relationship work you just need to find your missing piece

Sadly, I think a lot of people are still in the youthful mindset of going out pulling and running away the next day, when they should be trying to build a meaningful, loving relationship for the benefit of their futures.

Asphyxia

You are definitely not the only women to be interested in older in men, my boyfriend is 5 years older than me and my father is 17 years older than my mother and they've been married 30 years. There is no specific place to search for an older man you just have to live life and one day you will come across someone that will make your heart jump.

Shellygoose

my OH is 9 yrs older then me, im 26..hes 35. I dont think age matters.....happiness matters! Its never been an issue, although we do joke about it - like he was doing his Leaving Cert when i was getting my Communion

i agree with squeakyduck - It takes two to make a relationship work you just need to find your missing piece

mood

No, I prefer guys my own age.

Cheap Thrills!

I've never been into older men at all. They're scary! I wouldn't know what to talk to them about!

They'd probably be into golf or cooking or wine or rugby or classical music or boring stuff like that....!!!

They'd wear a pink or lemon shirt tucked into their 'slacks' and look like Eamonn Lillis with grey hair and a matching grey face.....EUW !!!!

On weekends they would wear too-short combats from Next and a long sleeved cotton top with a sewed on logo and think they're all cool and hip and down with the kids! Underneath their clothes they could have mottled cellulitey flesh, moobs and grey chest hair :eek::(

Younger men ftw !

LegacyUser

Hey! You've just been looking the wrong way! Being older doesn't mean being unfit, unfashionable or boring.

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

I've never been into older men at all. They're scary! I wouldn't know what to talk to them about!

They'd probably be into golf or cooking or wine or rugby or classical music or boring stuff like that....!!!

They'd wear a pink or lemon shirt tucked into their 'slacks' and look like Eamonn Lillis with grey hair and a matching grey face.....EUW !!!!

On weekends they would wear too-short combats from Next and a long sleeved cotton top with a sewed on logo and think they're all cool and hip and down with the kids! Underneath their clothes they could have mottled cellulitey flesh, moobs and grey chest hair :eek::(

Younger men ftw !

LighterGuy

Am I right to believe that the average girl would probably date 5 years older than her? (I know everyone is different but on average say?)

Faith

My ex was 5 years older than me, and I see that as being a fairly ideal age difference tbh. I prefer guys to be a few years older than me for maturity reasons, but I'd prefer them to be within 5-8 years older than me. More than that, and we'd be at very different life stages.

alidxx

i dont think that age comes into it. as long as you like someone then thats all that matters.. i used to always go for older guys.. my ex was 42 and i was 22 and my ex before that was 36.. i thought i had a think for older men but i am now settled down with a man who is 27 so theres only 4 years so you just never know..

LighterGuy

alidxx wrote: »

i dont think that age comes into it. as long as you like someone then thats all that matters.. i used to always go for older guys.. my ex was 42 and i was 22 and my ex before that was 36.. i thought i had a think for older men but i am now settled down with a man who is 27 so theres only 4 years so you just never know..

Thats quite interesting Alidxx.
You say you've dated guys up to 20 years older than you but are now happily settled with a man who is 27 (And you being 23)
Could it be that although age is just a number but two people are unlikely to have anything long lasting if there is such a big age gap? (aka different stages of life etc)

I know there are people out there married with a significant age gap. But on averages say.

hondasam

what age was the guy you fancied for five/six years in your other thread?

starlit

Older men, not my cup of tea to be honest. I'm a bit ageist when it comes to dating men of certain ages. I tend to fancy guys slightly younger and slightly older than myself whereby there wouldn't be much of an age gap. I'd rather go out with men who are 5 years older than myself but less than 10 years at least, find the age gap be too much same applies for younger guys. I'd limit myself to a guy 5 years younger but not younger than that, aprox a year to three years younger than me be about right. I have no problems being attracted to guys anywhere being 5 years younger or older than me and them being the same age. Now I do find it harder being with guys the same age as myself, but I do get on with them, more likely to be friends with them due to a certain maturity level! I'm currently 25 so guys ages between 20-30 be exactly right for me, any guy in his 20's really would suit me cause we be likely to share the same views, values, interests and stage of life!

Going off topic a little but keeping on the same page, I know a lot of my friends find it hard to understand this but I tend to only be attracted to Irish (white) lads, I don't know what it is, you could give me denzel washington or usher or ronaldo and I wouldn't bat an eyelid! I've never really been attracted to guys who are sallow or coloured, they just don't do anything for me! They could be a God for all I care I wouldn't budge!Give me Jonathan Rhys Myers and I'd swoon! Like don't get me wrong I'd fancy the likes of johnny depp but wouldn't be in favour of going out with a lad who is either who is an american, australian, european i.e. french, spanish, german, italian, any other place around the world even an english guy with the exception of a scottish guy due to mannerisms and being similar to irish lads.

Other than that I am fairly fussy on other things, if you ever watch the likes of take me out, I would use all the silly reasons that the contestants say for not going out with certain guys!

LighterGuy

snuggles285 wrote: »

Older men, not my cup of tea to be honest. I'm a bit ageist when it comes to dating men of certain ages. I tend to fancy guys slightly younger and slightly older than myself whereby there wouldn't be much of an age gap. I'd rather go out with men who are 5 years older than myself but less than 10 years at least, find the age gap be too much same applies for younger guys. I'd limit myself to a guy 5 years younger but not younger than that, aprox a year to three years younger than me be about right. I have no problems being attracted to guys anywhere being 5 years younger or older than me and them being the same age. Now I do find it harder being with guys the same age as myself, but I do get on with them, more likely to be friends with them due to a certain maturity level! I'm currently 25 so guys ages between 20-30 be exactly right for me, any guy in his 20's really would suit me cause we be likely to share the same views, values, interests and stage of life!

Going off topic a little but keeping on the same page, I know a lot of my friends find it hard to understand this but I tend to only be attracted to Irish (white) lads, I don't know what it is, you could give me denzel washington or usher or ronaldo and I wouldn't bat an eyelid! I've never really been attracted to guys who are sallow or coloured, they just don't do anything for me! They could be a God for all I care I wouldn't budge!Give me Jonathan Rhys Myers and I'd swoon! Like don't get me wrong I'd fancy the likes of johnny depp but wouldn't be in favour of going out with a lad who is either who is an american, australian, european i.e. french, spanish, german, italian, any other place around the world even an english guy with the exception of a scottish guy due to mannerisms and being similar to irish lads.

Other than that I am fairly fussy on other things, if you ever watch the likes of take me out, I would use all the silly reasons that the contestants say for not going out with certain guys!

Everyone has a specfic type Snuggles ... but I find that in dating all it takes is just one to break the mould. For me I would never of dated a black girl. But I did last year. Open to dating other black girls now I guess. I prefer the light skinned black girls tho. Its weird how dating someone different can change your criteria.

Emme

No wonder women in their 30s can't get men their own age or even older when you young hotties are chasing them. That's why so many youngfellas are crying out here that they can't get girls!

Never mind, if you find a good one, hold onto him no matter what the age difference is.

sam34

apart from my very first boyfriend, who was teh same age as me, all the other men i've gone out with have been older than me, ranging from 11 years older to 23 years older.

the gae gap has never been an issue in the relationships, and they ended for reasons unrelated to age.


the "sugar daddy" comments from ignorant judgemental people are quite annoying though..

starlit

LighterGuy wrote: »

Everyone has a specfic type Snuggles ... but I find that in dating all it takes is just one to break the mould. For me I would never of dated a black girl. But I did last year. Open to dating other black girls now I guess. I prefer the light skinned black girls tho. Its weird how dating someone different can change your criteria.

I don't have a specific type per se, but I am open to most guys type regardless of most hair and eye colour and other aspects who are Irish, White, aged 20-30, the only specific type thing would be height roughly 5 ft 7 to around 6 ft cause of my petit height, he can have tattooes or have different interests to me I wouldn't mind once its not in the extreme, not necessarily have same taste in music but would be nice, that he has hair, good education/work background wouldn't matter what it is though for the most part, nice personality but its a good sense of humour that would win me over big time! Looks is just a bonus for me cause I know I don't want a man that's overly hunky, but at least above average looking but doesn't need to be no oil painting either but needs to be somewhere what attractive to me but maybe not be another girls' cup of tea though.

I have noticed that people who are very open to going out with any type of person regardless of looks, age etc are more realistic in attracting the opposite sex and being attractive to the opposite sex find it easier to meet people and relationships seem to work in their favour which is great but I'm not that type of girl when it comes to men! I can be open about some things in life but not everything! I compromise but will only go out with someone who I am attracted too and who is attracted to me, sick of this one sided unrequieted love cack to last me a lifetime (have been at both sides of that field and is not nice!) and sick of the game playing by men thinking that reverse psychology works!

I am probably stubborn that I don't want to go out of my comfort zone 'cause its the way I have been brought up to eventually be with someone of the same pedigree/specie (Irish, White, Catholic, Well Educated, Good Job and all that lark) I suppose you call it!?

I really don't get the whole 'suga daddy' thing, in my eyes the young wan just wants the old gezzers money! I guess thats me just being sterotypically minded, hard to get out of that narrow minded judgemental state, it might be fun to have a sugar daddy for a while but think there is more to just an age gap than meets the eye, fair enough if ye get on well but there are other factors to consider!? Fun v's settled which would you choose?

Age might just be a number but there is more to life than just having a partner younger or older than you, there is a lot more to a relationship than that which needs the key ingredients which are communication, trust, friendship, loyalty, kindness, love, affection, compatibility and compromise!

Everyone is different, what ever floats your boat! Remember just be happy who ever you are with if you're not do something about it! Life is worth living and go with the flow! I believe we each have a soulmate well I still have to find mine where ever he is!? Better to have loved than to have never have loved at all!

sam34

snuggles285 wrote: »

I really don't get the whole 'suga daddy' thing, in my eyes the young wan just wants the old gezzers money! I guess thats me just being sterotypically minded, hard to get out of that narrow minded judgemental state, it might be fun to have a sugar daddy for a while but think there is more to just an age gap than meets the eye, fair enough if ye get on well but there are other factors to consider!? Fun v's settled which would you choose?

and here we go :rolleyes:

not all younger woman/older man relationships are sugar daddy types. in my case, i went out with a man 23 years older than me, and i was by far the higher earner, earning more than twice his salary. however, it wasnt an issue either way, we each paid our way.

snuggles285 wrote: »

Age might just be a number but there is more to life than just having a partner younger or older than you, there is a lot more to a relationship than that which needs the key ingredients which are communication, trust, friendship, loyalty, kindness, love, affection, compatibility and compromise

exactly, and there's no reason that all those things cant be present in a relationsgip with an age gap

Wibbs

sam34 wrote: »

not all younger woman/older man relationships are sugar daddy types. in my case, i went out with a man 23 years older than me, and i was by far the higher earner, earning more than twice his salary. however, it wasnt an issue either way, we each paid our way.

And I went out with a woman 15 years younger than me and she was the higher earner in that case at the time. Big deal. Though I did stiff her with the bill on occasion :P Actually she ended up with a guy a good bit older than me and she's well happy.

I am a friend

I know this is sexist but I could always see what a woman could see in dating an older man but seldom what he could gain from dating a much younger woman (other than an ego boost).....

Emme

I am a friend wrote: »

I know this is sexist but I could always see what a woman could see in dating an older man but seldom what he could gain from dating a much younger woman (other than an ego boost).....

It depends on the age of the guy. If he's over 40 the obvious thing he'd gain from a younger woman is a healthy womb, a partner with youthful looks, lots of energy and potential to bear strong sons.

In the short to medium term an older man might be a good economic bet for a younger woman but in the long term she's a good economic bet for him. He'll probably be dead by the time she's retired and she'll have kept him and taken care of him in the meantime. A win-win situation for the older man.

Having said that, I see an awful lot of women in their 20s who are in very bad physical shape and look old for their years, maybe they don't appeal to guys their own age but older guys like them. Obviously that doesn't apply to anyone here.

sam34

I am a friend wrote: »

I know this is sexist but I could always see what a woman could see in dating an older man but seldom what he could gain from dating a much younger woman (other than an ego boost).....

seriously?

how about friendship, companionship, loyalty, love, sex, intimacy etc etc etc

why should an age difference mean he couldnt/wouldnt get any of those things?

Emme

sam34 wrote: »

seriously?

how about friendship, companionship, loyalty, love, sex, intimacy etc etc etc?

He could get any of the above from a woman his own age and a woman nearer his age might appreciate him more and work harder at the relationship than a younger woman who might not have had any serious hard knocks, not that I would wish that on any woman of any age.

sam34 wrote: »

why should an age difference mean he couldnt/wouldnt get any of those things?

It doesn't, but the point being made is that an older man nearly always gets an ego boost from dating a younger woman that he wouldn't necessarily get from dating a woman the same age. Basically the guy hits a certain age and he has to work that little bit harder to stay in shape physically, so he dates a younger woman to prove to the world that he still has what it takes. A 40 year old man gets more kudos from his mates for pulling a 27 year old than for pulling a 37 year old, and if he pulls a 23 year old he's the next thing to god himself!

illiop

To be honest age is just a number a lot of the time but not always. I'd say I'm most attracted to guys 4 or 5 years older than me and I try not to be with anyone over ten years older (I'm 20) but I don't always stick to that.

Life stage is much more important than age imo. I recently had a fling with a 34 yr old and we got on so well. We were both in the same stage and wanted (more or less) the same things out of life but it didn't work out for us because he just plain wasn't interested in a realationship and doesn't see himself ever wanting to settle down, whereas I do eventually.
On the other hand I once dated a 24 yr old (when i was 18) and that didn't work out because he was looking to settle down and got really clingy after 1 or 2 dates.

While I'd agree that it's more usual for an older guy to want different things it really depends on the person and I wouldn't base it soley on age. I do think it's wierd though if the age gap isn't acknowledged though. I love those funny conversations when it's "Do you remember where you were when this happened?" "...eh, I wasn't born " :P

Leelaa22

I am definately more attracted to older men! But I have also gone out with guys my own age. But in them cases I think they were more into me than I was into them, I dont think that was down to age, but I think I look up to older guys.

Emme

Leelaa22 wrote: »

I am definately more attracted to older men! But I have also gone out with guys my own age. But in them cases I think they were more into me than I was into them, I dont think that was down to age, but I think I look up to older guys.

When you get to be the age the older guys are now - say 35 or 40, you mightn't look up to them so much because as far as they're concerned you'll be invisible, and they'll be chasing younger women who are the age you are now!

Leelaa22

Emme wrote: »

When you get to be the age the older guys are now - say 35 or 40, you mightn't look up to them so much because as far as they're concerned you'll be invisible, and they'll be chasing younger women who are the age you are now!

I reckon when Im 35 Ill still be wanting to be getting with men older than me lol. Alan Rickman and Jean Reno are in my top 5.(I dont think men that age would say no to a 35 year old)
I just dont like guys my own age as much. I dont seem to get along with them as well in a relationship setting.

I get what your saying though once Im out of my 20's Ill be on the shelf!!(I honestly dont believe that, dont worry, no one is ever on the shelf)
maybe Ill try younger men then? Do the whole coogar thing - it sounds like fun.

Emme

Leelaa22 wrote: »

I reckon when Im 35 Ill still be wanting to be getting with men older than me lol. Alan Rickman and Jean Reno are in my top 5.(I dont think men that age would say no to a 35 year old)
I just dont like guys my own age as much. I dont seem to get along with them as well in a relationship setting.

I get what your saying though once Im out of my 20's Ill be on the shelf!!(I honestly dont believe that, dont worry, no one is ever on the shelf)
maybe Ill try younger men then? Do the whole coogar thing - it sounds like fun.

Alan Rickman is on my list as well.

I don't want to say that when you're out of your 20s you're on the shelf but when you hit your 30s it gets really hard to find somebody who wants a proper relationship. I was studying at night during my early 30s and when I finished the studies I found it so hard to meet someone - there is a massive drop in a woman's pulling power between ages 30 and 35. I found it especially dramatic because I had my head in the books from 30-35. I'm 38 now and find it really hard to meet anyone who's genuine. Recently I dated a 52 year old who got a P45 because he spent the whole time going on about his ex-girlfriend. Ironically younger guys often chat me up, but men my own age and up rarely know I exist, they're all looking for much younger women.

The "whole cougar thing" is a bit passe at this stage. I never got it anyway, younger men have always chased older women but the cougar thing made it look like older women were desperately chasing younger men. I've always attracted younger men, in my 20s I used to get chatted up by 18 and 19 year olds:o and even then couldn't get an older man to save my life! There weren't many older men available when I was in my 20s - divorce wasn't in all that long.

But yeah, if you want a serious relationship and you're heading for 30 you'd want to be getting skates on.

Goldenlady

My partner is 12 and half years older than me, and we just get on so so well. We have been together 6 years, so I was 25 when I met him and he was 38 (Can be 13 years depending on time of year!!:D) and when I met him I actually thought he was only about 7 years older. He was married and has kids, some almost close to my age, but we just have a great relationship. We have the same interests, running, socialising etc.
We work well together, and I don't think of the age difference. He struggled with it initially as his ex was 2 years older than him........
But we do not look like there is a gap, he looks younger and most people think he is early 30's and I SUPPOSEDLY look mid twenties so no one ever says a thing!:)

panda100

I have the opposite 'problem'!All my boyfriends have been younger than me minus one. I generally find younger men much more open minded and interesting and I seem to have a lot more in common with them.

Leelaa22

Emme wrote: »

Alan Rickman is on my list as well.

I don't want to say that when you're out of your 20s you're on the shelf but when you hit your 30s it gets really hard to find somebody who wants a proper relationship. I was studying at night during my early 30s and when I finished the studies I found it so hard to meet someone - there is a massive drop in a woman's pulling power between ages 30 and 35. I found it especially dramatic because I had my head in the books from 30-35. I'm 38 now and find it really hard to meet anyone who's genuine. Recently I dated a 52 year old who got a P45 because he spent the whole time going on about his ex-girlfriend. Ironically younger guys often chat me up, but men my own age and up rarely know I exist, they're all looking for much younger women.

The "whole cougar thing" is a bit passe at this stage. I never got it anyway, younger men have always chased older women but the cougar thing made it look like older women were desperately chasing younger men. I've always attracted younger men, in my 20s I used to get chatted up by 18 and 19 year olds:o and even then couldn't get an older man to save my life! There weren't many older men available when I was in my 20s - divorce wasn't in all that long.

But yeah, if you want a serious relationship and you're heading for 30 you'd want to be getting skates on.

Firslty h5 about Alan Rickman, he is super cool and super sexy.

I think thats where maybe we differ I dont want to settle down and have kids or anything like that. Well thats what I see in my future now as a 22 year old so not have a guy thake a genuine interest doesnt bother me.
The only thing that worries me if I feel like this till im in my 30's , then suddenly change my mind and want the serious commitment, I do think it might be hard to settle down. But in saying that my uncle married his wife when she was in her mid 30's and he only knew her a couple of years. so i guess its not impossible.


and about the 52 year old. wow, no matter how old a man is he just doesnt learn!!! you were right to give him to boot. And dont give up on looking for someone, but you know what they say the moment you stop looking, they find you

Mrs Garth Brooks

Glad im not the only one. Anyone fancy Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan and Michael Douglas?

I think its funny i like them cause my mam has mentioned liking them before. Imagine i like the same men my mother does? Is that weird? Il be more worried of finding a fella and my mother stealing him. Ha ha.

Emme

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Glad im not the only one. Anyone fancy Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan and Michael Douglas?

Richard Gere - too smug. Pierce Brosnan - too smooth and reminds me of a provincial estate agent. Michael Douglas - was never my cup of tea. As I said, Alan Rickman is seriously hot and he has more hair than most guys half his age!:D

I used to fancy Dick Moran in Glenroe :eek::o:eek: OK, that's my dirty little secret out. Is fancying Michael Caine sad?

Mrs Garth Brooks

Emme wrote: »

I used to fancy Dick Moran in Glenroe :eek::o:eek: OK, that's my dirty little secret out. Is fancying Michael Caine sad?

Michael Caine, not to bad. Neither is Dick Moran.

I like older men. I used to think it was strange, too, but I've simply stopped caring. As long as you like each other and he treats you well, I don't see why age should matter at all.
Now that I've stopped avoiding what I like, I've started meeting people I genuinely like. I think there's something to be said for that

Celebrity examples:
Johnny Depp
James Marsters
Gary Oldman
^^All old enough to be my father!

Leelaa22

Deleted User wrote: »

I like older men. I used to think it was strange, too, but I've simply stopped caring. As long as you like each other and he treats you well, I don't see why age should matter at all.
Now that I've stopped avoiding what I like, I've started meeting people I genuinely like. I think there's something to be said for that

Celebrity examples:
Johnny Depp
James Marsters
Gary Oldman
^^All old enough to be my father!

Hey Johnny is mine!! im Mrs deep on my emails and yahoo messenger (cause im defo the only girl who does that ha)
Kudos on the Johnny Depp he is old enough to be my dad too but I never see it, do you? I still think of him as the little socially awkward Edward, even his more recent films I cant get my head around that he is over 40 let alone creeping up to 50! and Gary oldman I developed a crush on him when he was Series Black on Harry Potter

sam34

Emme wrote: »

He could get any of the above from a woman his own age

yep, he could. equally he could get them from a younger woman. the poster i quoted said she couldnt see what, other than an ego boost, a man could get from going out with a younger woman. i am pointing out a number of things he could get.

Emme wrote: »

and a woman nearer his age might appreciate him more and work harder at the relationship than a younger woman who might not have had any serious hard knocks, not that I would wish that on any woman of any age.

or a younger woman might be besotted and absolutely cherish him and "appreciate him more and work harder at the relationship" precisely because its her first serious relationship and she has not become jaded/bitter/cynical by "serious hard knocks"

Emme wrote: »

It doesn't, but the point being made is that an older man nearly always gets an ego boost from dating a younger woman that he wouldn't necessarily get from dating a woman the same age. Basically the guy hits a certain age and he has to work that little bit harder to stay in shape physically, so he dates a younger woman to prove to the world that he still has what it takes. A 40 year old man gets more kudos from his mates for pulling a 27 year old than for pulling a 37 year old, and if he pulls a 23 year old he's the next thing to god himself!

so a man gets an ego boost from dating his girlfriend. so what? big deal. as long as thats not the only reason he's with her, then what does that matter?

alidxx

LighterGuy wrote: »

Thats quite interesting Alidxx.
You say you've dated guys up to 20 years older than you but are now happily settled with a man who is 27 (And you being 23)
Could it be that although age is just a number but two people are unlikely to have anything long lasting if there is such a big age gap? (aka different stages of life etc)

I know there are people out there married with a significant age gap. But on averages say.

well i think it really depends on the people and if they can work it..f the love is strong enough it will last no matter what

musicmonky

men live longer if wife is younger.. makes sense
but doesn't tend to work the other way round.


except for Richard and Judy
http://www.physorg.com/news192877463.html

Leelaa22

Leelaa22 wrote: »

Hey Johnny is mine!! im Mrs deep on my emails and yahoo messenger (cause im defo the only girl who does that ha)
Kudos on the Johnny Depp he is old enough to be my dad too but I never see it, do you? I still think of him as the little socially awkward Edward, even his more recent films I cant get my head around that he is over 40 let alone creeping up to 50! and Gary oldman I developed a crush on him when he was Series Black on Harry Potter

I'll fight you for him! I didn't realise Depp was nearing 50 until recently. He could still easily pass for someone 10-20years younger! Fountain of youth, what?!
Same on Gary Oldman, haha! Sirius was ALWAYS my fandom from Harry Potter, so it went without saying that I'd take a shine to anyone that played him.

Leelaa22

Deleted User wrote: »

I'll fight you for him! I didn't realise Depp was nearing 50 until recently. He could still easily pass for someone 10-20years younger! Fountain of youth, what?!
Same on Gary Oldman, haha! Sirius was ALWAYS my fandom from Harry Potter, so it went without saying that I'd take a shine to anyone that played him.

Prepare to battle!!!
Fountain of youth? I think its more lots and lots of money buying him youth!!
Sirius was cool, but for me it was always professor Snape (alan rickman another older gentleman) I always wished he was my teacher and would make me stay back after class. haha
Im also like that with professor Lupin, I loved him in the book and knew Id love who ever the picked to play him and when it was David i got a crush on him too even though I hated him in Dargonheart he played such a mean charater.

Emme

sam34 wrote: »

yep, he could. equally he could get them from a younger woman. the poster i quoted said she couldnt see what, other than an ego boost, a man could get from going out with a younger woman. i am pointing out a number of things he could get.

You neglected to add that the younger woman is probably likely to be a more appealing specimen, both physically and in evolutionary terms.:rolleyes:

sam34 wrote: »

or a younger woman might be besotted and absolutely cherish him and "appreciate him more and work harder at the relationship" precisely because its her first serious relationship and she has not become jaded/bitter/cynical by "serious hard knocks"

I can see your point. Younger women see the raw deal that older women are getting these days (they didn't seem to get such a raw deal when I was younger) and might hang onto a man for dear life because they're terrified of being alone, over 35, on the shelf and jaded/bitter/cynical with no hope of meeting anyone. Some younger women seem to put up with more from men than women the same age did 10-15 years ago and they bend themselves into all sorts of shapes to get and hold onto a man.

At least we had fun when we were in our 20s, we had the time because we weren't slathering ourselves in fake tan, binding our feet into shoes we couldn't walk in or waxing the last hair off our nether parts so we could make like a porn star. The culture has really changed - some younger women are almost like Stepford wives. And the older men love this deferentiality, it's such a change from the attitude and bolshiness they got from women their own age when they were younger!

sam34 wrote: »

so a man gets an ego boost from dating his girlfriend. so what? big deal. as long as thats not the only reason he's with her, then what does that matter?

It matters because the day he stops getting an ego boost from dating his girlfriend (ie when she gets older and less hot) the other reasons he's with her could pale into insignificance and he might replace her with a younger, hotter model. That is if there is still an endless supply of hot young things queuing up for older men.

I have a feeling that the trend might wane when the next generation of young girls see women caring for their much older partners and working their butts off to support them when they're retired and too infirm to do anything around the house.

Older men may seem sexy now and there's a certain vicarious thrill in snatching them from under the noses of older women (go on, admit it), but when you're a sixty-something woman working full time to pay for everything and coming home to care for an eighty-something partner life might not be so sweet. OK if you love him that's fine, but let's hope the love is strong enough to withstand having to work 24/7 when you're in your 60s.

Wibbs

Emme wrote: »

You neglected to add that the younger woman is probably likely to be a more appealing specimen, both physically and in evolutionary terms.:rolleyes:

One could also argue in a similar vein for a guy in good nick at 35 compared to his 25 year old self. He's likely more settled in his career, has more disposable income, should be more emotionally mature(indeed IMHO any man over 30 has no excuses left on that score) and may be more open to the settling down thing. So a 35 year old man like that may well "fit" better with say a 25 year old woman.

I can see your point. Younger women see the raw deal that older women are getting these days (they didn't seem to get such a raw deal when I was younger) and might hang onto a man for dear life because they're terrified of being alone, over 35, on the shelf and jaded/bitter/cynical with no hope of meeting anyone. Some younger women seem to put up with more from men than women the same age did 10-15 years ago and they bend themselves into all sorts of shapes to get and hold onto a man.

I dunno. I think the "left on the shelf" guff has been around a long time. I'd reckon it was worse if you go back 40 years. Women had far less options in front of them but to be a housewife. I would say though that there was a "sweet spot" around 20 years ago. There was a lot less of this gender war BS of today that's for damn sure. There were also a lot less older men younger women relationships going on from what I remember. When I was 20 I had one woman mate that was marked out as going for older men(usually around ten years older, not exactly zimmer frame types) and it was noted by our extended group as being unusual. Her various boyfriends were considered "old" by the rest of us. Today? I doubt many would bat an eyelid, nor consider her that unusual. So yea I would agree that part has changed. Looking around at guys I know between the ages of 30 to 40+ There are more single ones for a start. Dyed in the wool, "no way am I ever getting hitched" men who are very suspicious of women and happy to be single having flings. There are also a fair few noticeable age gap relationships. Like any relationships, some are healthy some are not. Then again there are also many more age gaps going the other way(mostly women in their mid to late 30's going out with or married to men 10 years younger). I can think of 4 off the top of my head and they're all doing fine.

At least we had fun when we were in our 20s, we had the time because we weren't slathering ourselves in fake tan, binding our feet into shoes we couldn't walk in or waxing the last hair off our nether parts so we could make like a porn star. The culture has really changed - some younger women are almost like Stepford wives.

I'd agree there alright. There does seem to be more pressure on that score. Maybe a cultural thing too? The continentals have been plucking and waxing for generations. That was less the case here. Both genders were less stylistically "sophisticated" for want of a better word. Today I'd say the men haven't moved that much on that score, but the women have. Like the waxed nethers. In my 20's I never met an Irish woman who was more than a bit trimmed and a few that were au natural. I've gone out with a fair few foreign women as far back as my 20's and many more of them were doing the oul waxing or the all off lark.

And the older men love this deferentiality, it's such a change from the attitude and bolshiness they got from women their own age when they were younger!

I think it depends on the guy too though. Some men like that, some don't. Some men are more submissive and some are more dominant. Just like the ladies. I would say though that IME too often being a pain in the bum is mistaken for being an equal partner in a relationship. Even a description like "attitude". All too often that comes across and actually is belligerent.

What I think has changed(beyond the gender war BS) is that today people, men and women tend to have more expectations. As well as women being "left on the shelf" a fair few men are too. IMHO for every 40 year old bloke pulling 25 year old women on a regular basis there are at least 5 behind him on their own for long periods of time.

It matters because the day he stops getting an ego boost from dating his girlfriend (ie when she gets older and less hot) the other reasons he's with her could pale into insignificance and he might replace her with a younger, hotter model. That is if there is still an endless supply of hot young things queuing up for older men.

Oh sure, that may happen. Especially if the guy is good looking and rich and has such opportunities, but in the main I can't recall seeing that so much. Indeed I'd say a good looking 25 year old guy with opportunities is more likely to be "trading in" old for new. Just like a good looking 25 year old woman is more likely to.

I have a feeling that the trend might wane when the next generation of young girls see women caring for their much older partners and working their butts off to support them when they're retired and too infirm to do anything around the house.

Maybe. It depends on the health and fitness of both though. I know a fair few men in their 50s that are fitter than a lot of men in their 20's.

Older men may seem sexy now and there's a certain vicarious thrill in snatching them from under the noses of older women (go on, admit it),

I really doubt that goes on TBH.

but when you're a sixty-something woman working full time to pay for everything and coming home to care for an eighty-something partner life might not be so sweet. OK if you love him that's fine, but let's hope the love is strong enough to withstand having to work 24/7 when you're in your 60s.

True though you could say similar about any relationship. Would a man leave a woman who has gained weight after childbirth. Sure it happens, but for most? Not so much.

Emme

Wibbs wrote: »

The continentals have been plucking and waxing for generations. That was less the case here. Both genders were less stylistically "sophisticated" for want of a better word. Today I'd say the men haven't moved that much on that score, but the women have. Like the waxed nethers. In my 20's I never met an Irish woman who was more than a bit trimmed and a few that were au natural. I've gone out with a fair few foreign women as far back as my 20's and many more of them were doing the oul waxing or the all off lark.

Really? What about German women who don't de-fuzz their armpits? I heard that certain French women didn't do that either let alone anything else. OK, the South Americans have been waxing away for years, and some East Asians too, but I wasn't aware of the Continentals doing it. I've always waxed myself, armpits, legs, bikini line etc but not to painful South American extremes.

I don't agree that for every single woman in her 30s there are 5 single guys. Maybe two or three, if you count serious addicts and schizophrenics etc. But then you have female addicts and schizophrenics so that doesn't wash. The fact is, there are very few eligible single men available to single women in their late 30s up. By eligible I mean sane, capable of earning a living but not necessarily rolling in it, and reasonably fit and healthy (may or may not be overweight but not bedridden).

You're right about gender wars these days though, it stinks! Maybe that's what's behind the trend for men trying to re-assert their supremacy by dating younger women.

panda100

musicmonky wrote: »

men live longer if wife is younger.. makes sense
but doesn't tend to work the other way round.


except for Richard and Judy
http://www.physorg.com/news192877463.html

Women live longer than men, so surely it makes more sense for women to go for a younger man rather than an older man?

Average age women die is around 82, and thats about 78 for men. It makes evolutionary sense that women date younger men, so we don't have to live alone in our twighlight years. Hence why I find younger men much more appealing!