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Is it too soon to date again?

  • 02-11-2010 5:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was crushed when my boyfriend split up with me a few weeks ago. I couldn't stop crying, he is friends with my friends so he is still around but we never meet. I had ben walking around like a zombie since he split with me. By fluke I got intouch with a guy I went out with for a 2 years some time ago, it was good to hear from him as I really need friends around me now, we have arranged to meet next week for a drink. I need to move on as my ex made it clear that its over but I fear that its too soon. what should I do?


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Imo its way too soon considering you spend your time crying and "walking around like a zombie". If you even totally remove your headspace from the equation for a moment, do you really think it is fair on another person to start a new relationship when you're carrying around so much upset and angst and still harbouring feelings for someone else? Meet for a drink by all means but I'd just be concerned that you'd project all this intensity and confusion on to someone new and that's not healthy for either of you. Maybe think about taking some time out and getting your head together my dear. I do hope you feel better soon. It is a cliche I know but time is a great healer and you will get a little stronger with each day that goes by. Hugs x


  • #3
    solovely
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭solovely


    Go for it if it feels right! my best friend met her boyfriend a few weeks after being absolutely crushed by a guy, but all it did was convince her that the last guy wasn't right. Her and the "new" guy are now going really strong three years later, have an amazing relationship, and know what they both really want.

    There's no right or wrong or rules, just go with your gut and what feels right.

    Personally, I know I met a guy soon after breaking up with my ex, and it was too soon for me as my head was in a mess, but if you can manage it and it feels right, completely go for it. What's the point in waiting around, you only live once!!

    And you already know this guy so it's not like it's delving completley into the unknown!!


  • #4
    Jenneke87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 807 ✭✭✭Jenneke87


    The feeling I get from your post is that you´re more looking for friendship instead of a relation?

    Don´t move on because you feel you have to, move on when you feel youre ready....


  • #5
    Pebbles!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 206 ✭✭Pebbles!


    whatsagirltodo wrote: »
    I was crushed when my boyfriend split up with me a few weeks ago. I couldn't stop crying, he is friends with my friends so he is still around but we never meet. I had ben walking around like a zombie since he split with me. By fluke I got intouch with a guy I went out with for a 2 years some time ago, it was good to hear from him as I really need friends around me now, we have arranged to meet next week for a drink. I need to move on as my ex made it clear that its over but I fear that its too soon. what should I do?

    Only you know if it's too soon for you. No matter what anybody tells you you'll do what you think is right! After all we are women!! :D But if your doing it just because your ex make it clear it was over for good, don't..take your time to grieve. Splitting up is never easy but everybody has their own way of dealing with it.

    Does your ex want to meet for drinks as friends or potentially getting back together?? Friends is fine cause I think we can all understand that you need friends right now but if he wants more make sure your in the right head space and your not going to hurt him in the long run. Only you can figure out what is the best option for you.


  • #6
    silkworm53
    Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭silkworm53


    Hi OP

    The best way to get over a failed relationship is to meet someone new.
    You don't have to marry this new guy - you are meeting for a drink and you should enjoy it.
    It will beat crying and feeling bad.
    Who knows maybe he will want to listen to you and give you a shoulder to cry on?
    Go for it and best of luck.


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  • #7
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Moving on is a good thing, when you are ready.

    IMO meeting an ex is not moving on, its moving back.


  • #8
    tolosenc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,889 ✭✭✭tolosenc


    Speaking as a guy, go for the drinks if that's what you want to do. If things take off from there and you realise it's too mich, just say so and it'll work itself out. If a girl I liked said not right now, maybe in a few weeks, I could live with that.


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