Hotel problem..

SSFG

I feel so stupid, the two hotels I had narrowed down the choice to are BOTH after telling us the date we wanted is gone and I have the church booked.
Probably stupid of me, but I thought once the 2 hotels were free, I could go ahead and book the church, the idea being I was trying to get the hotel and church to match, date wise.
One of the hotels told me the date was free, then when myself and my fiance went to look at it, the date was gone, despite me having received an email to say the date was free. Given that I had explained that my fiance lives and works an hour away and we could only view the hotel at the weekend, plus the fact I hadn't been told there was any other interest in my date, I was pretty upset to be told the date was gone
The second hotel, whilst never told me directly that the date was free, they neglected to tell me that the date was gone, even though I had communicated to them by phone and email what my preferred date was. And they had me in to see the hotel, then again a few days later with my fiance and it was then I was told the date was gone.
In any case, its all beside the point anyway, I am just left wondering am I making a complete shambles of things? I have obviously never planned a wedding before, what am I supposed to book first? what is the etiquette for booking the hotel, am I supposed to provisionally book a date even if I am unsure if it will all align with the church etc???
Would be so grateful for any tips, am very upset at the treatment I have received, particularly from the first hotel, they pretty much sold the date from under me :mad:
Please point me in the right direction...I am obviously doing this all wrong

tinkerbell

Can you not just book the church and hotel on the same day?

newtoboards

Yes its a good idea to "hold" the date before going to the church. No deposit needs to be paid or anything. Bad form of the hotels not to tell you there were other people interested in the dates. Did you leave it a good while between contact and visit? Also fiance doesn't need to be with you to view venue, its good to meet the vendors and chat to them first before choosing them. The hotel could be great but the banqueting manager Could be a bit of an arse if you get my drift.

aviendha

unfortunately, until you have the deposit down with the hotel and the contract received, they don't have to hold the date for you.

If another couple puts down the money while you're still deciding, I would have thought it manners that the hotel called you first to give you the option to select the date, but to be honest, it sounds like you were just doing the initial investigations, and hadn't gotten a "provisional booking" clarified with the hotel - you discussed dates on email but it doesn't sound like you said "Hotel A - we are really interested in date X, what do we need to do to secure the booking?" so they probably didn't realise you were fully sure about the date as yet.

I would book the hotel first and the church afterwards, as I find the better hotels are more difficult to secure than a church date - but then I'm from the country so the church part was never an issue for me.

Best of luck, don't let this set back get you down, enjoy the rest of the planning

BC

Most hotels will hold a date for you for a couple of weeks (free of charge) and phone you to check before releasing the date. Just make sure you're clear with the hotel. Personally I'd book the church first as its more difficult but it really depends on your situation.

Edited to say, provisionally booking it is different to simply asking if the date is free. Make sure you're clear with the hotel that you want a provisionally booking if thats what you're doing.

SSFG

Thanks for all the posts,
Tinkerbell, I booked the church on a Wed, spoke to the hotel the same day and still he never mentioned anyone interested in the date. But when I called to the hotel Sat, the date was suddenly gone, thats how quickly it happened
Newtoboards, I realise my fiance doesn't have to be with me, but it is his day too and I would never book something this important without his input.
Anyway, am trying to get my second choice hotel, if only I could get a hold of the person I was dealing with....

D3PO

SSFG I would echo the other post in regards to provisional bookings.

We provisionally booked our 3 favourite venues to make sure they were held whilst we decided which we wanted to go with. (My Fiance infact provisinally booked one of them) when she visited as I couldnt make it. (You could do this and then arrange to go back with your OH when its convienent for you both.

They will all take a provisional booking theres no pressure on you if you charge your mind well thats jsut how the game works.

So if your looking at more venues Id say if you like it or think its a runner book the date doesnt cost a penny and you know you have a window to figure out if its the one for you or not.

we just rang back the 2 we no longer wanted and told them to cancel the provisional booking.

I hope it all works out for you.

SSFG

Looks like it may have been a good thing, because now we have the hotel that messed up the dates begging for forgiveness!! Which puts me in a strong bargaining position!